In this place i do so sleep,
Forever is the future bleak
No more shall i be able to speak,
These bad thoughts have peaked..
No more shall i be able to speak.
What is left but a corpse to reek.
I wish well to those an eternal sleep do seek.
I have never been one to be in touch with his emotions, sure, i feel the strong ones but the majority of the time, i merely react to emotions without understanding them or the reactions they bring. however. im talking now about one particular emotion, arguably the greatest motivator of people. love of another person. Ive had my share of relationships, ones where love was a thing, but a thing that was expected of me because it was a relationship. as such using the word love was something that became second nature, often it would slip out on a one night stand by accident, and […]
When you are at your lowest you find out who you are, when u reach down inside you find what’s left and you know who you are. What happens when you reach down and find nothing, when youre out of things to find and ur just too tired to even look anymore, does that not just make you nothing, I have looked inside and there is nothing left. If only there was no one left irl who cared, at least then I could just fade away in peace and content to know what should come next won’t hurt anyone. I am nothing, if only I […]
It never gets better, it hibernates, at best. People who help are liars and hypocrites and even they admit to themselves that at the end, it never gets better and all we have is the darkest recesses of our own fucked up minds. Rejoice in your suicidal ideation, for that alone is truth, truth laid bare and blatant. Rejoice for there is nothing left but the bare truth.
Time that I move on from here, after nearly six years I feel I have brought everything i can to this place, with nothing left to give it is time i took my leave. It is time a new generation of users step up and fill the shoes of the old members. Alot of posts seem to go unanswered when they need answers, and alot of posts that dont need answers get too many. For a while that was okay, because there were others who took up the slack, but most of those have moved on now, so it is the responsibility of the current […]
i am, by all accounts, a survivor, an old school member of this place, and it gets better it gets so much better that i drink, just co i can fall asleep, that my writing talent, the book im going to write, is used up here and on members via email. my way out is a book i can never write, but hay, it gets better,it always gets better…
this is more to do with the comments than the post itself, i tried to write a comment but it didnt seem to post, so ill just put it here, as you can see its long, perhaps theres a word limit on comments? either way after writing so much i would be irritated to just delete it
Wow, this one really blew up didnt it? Just a couple of pints id like to add after reading all the comments.
Firstly is the discussion over ways to help, @salt you know i agree with what you say regarding more serious members need more serious help instead of […]
Wrote it back in 2012, about depression, finally found it hidden in the recesses of my computer.
That little bastard never sleep, always does he creep,
Here now it seeps through me,
Everywhere I am he never agrees,
Righteous ************ just please,
Ease the fuck up you squeeze too tight.
Inside my head you infest,
Silent screams making me depressed.
How the fuck did you get so loud,
Over the others you reign supreme in your own shroud,
Please ************ shut up cause here’s the crowd,
Every voice you ground out now we back ***** shouting loud.
No more will I listen to you,
Every moment dragging me down […]
So, it turns out im an alcoholic… thats the first time ive uttered those words fully.. i wish i could sya i felt better saying them but what i know ive to do next is rather unappealing. after this weekend im going to stay off the whiskey, and off the beer and off the vodka and cider, not that i touch that swine piss, and off puteen and all that. puteen is any irish alcoholic drink, ranges upwards of 80% and is illegal to brew here, yes im an irish stereotype, a motherfucken drunkard. anyway, heres me enjoying one of my last drinks. i dont […]
I was going to write a long, motivational post but i just dont have it in me right now, its mid week and im already sick of it. If only there was a way to live without conforming to societies demands that leave you broken and soulless, since when doe living a life require us to trade our souls for enough money to live. I thought there was more to life but we spend the majority of it working, doing things that dont matter for bits of paper that we give away straight away so we can have a place to live, lights to see […]
So I havent really been around here as much as perhaps I should be. For those who dont know me im an old timer upon this sight, put im my time at the bottom of every bottle and put my time in at the worst spirals of depression. but through the help i got here I got out of the worst of it and now im here to help out. unfortunately right now stuff in my life limit the time i can spend here and alot of people needing help may go unanswered, as ive seen by a recent post. while i cant be an […]
What if, we are all angels, mischievous angels, and indeed bad angels punished by God? at the beginning Lucifer lead the revolt against god to over throw him and take over right? Well what if, when God won and cast all the angels who sided against him out of heaven they landed on earth, striped of their powers and wings, and their memories of heaven removed and thus started humans? and the really bad angels, such as Lucifer and his Dukes were sent down further to hell. Now God being merciful gave the angels a chance at redemption and those who live a good life […]
There was a time i was an active user on this sight. tho it was a long ago, i doubt anyone on this sight recognises my user name, i first came here back around 2010/2011. so im old school SP, when i joined the sight was different, we didnt even have things beside our names, nevermind being able to put pictures in beside our names. I came here looking for a suicide partner, someone to go out with. i spent every waking moment reading of ways to die, and i found many easy ways out. but this place gave me the one thing i didnt […]
Does anyone else ever stop and think just how impressive this sight is? not the people on it (who are all unique and amazing in their own way) but the very sight itself that allows people from all over the world to reach out and get help from people who know what they are going through. a site that focus’s on helping people survive and where possible “get better”. For a group of people so devoid of hope it seems to be a beacon of strength and that hope that so many lost, what an utterly incredible place. I would love to know just how […]
I remember the angry little boy who stumbled across this place a long time ago. Full of hate, despair, self loathing and more than his fare share of booze. He was so pissed off when he went through the trouble of singing up only to realise that this wasnt a place to discuss methods or to find a suicide partner, which were the two things he came looking for. Lashing out at those who offered help, more like a rabid animal than anything else, exploding his nonsensical bullshit across a comunity who should have kicked his sorry but off their site and continued on their […]
F uck you I’m not breaking,
I t doesn’t matter how much I’m aching,
G ritting my teeth to stop them shaking,
H elping hands always there remaking,
T he smiles and the laughing creating,
T he Fuck you I’m not breaking,
H ead to toe I may be quaking,
E ven then I won’t brake.
D epression will keep you awake,
A sking yourself “whatsa matter, is that all you can take?”
R ight so you shout “let’s see how far it can go” despite what’s at stake,
K nocked down, you whisper to yourself “get up, just get up” praying to the trinity,
N owhere […]
Its something I’ve been thinking about for a while, while depression is not a recent phenomenon it is something that has seen a staggering rise in recent years, among all age groups. Perhaps it is a natural product of our evolution. In previous centuries humanity was heavily orientated around physical labor, be it farming, construction or whatever. In those times i believe physical illnesses were higher, naturally i believe the heavy basses of the hole physicality of the time bread those physical issues. I think humanity has reached its point in the evolutionary chain where our physical self has evolved to close to its end […]
With every step forward I use to think it was a step away, and in a way it was. A step into the future, not a better future but a future none the less. It’s funny but when the past is dark and you start to make moves into the future, you can believe the future to be brighter, or that the darkness is the past. It’s amazing how easy it is to make yourself believe something, all you need is the desire to believe it, belief in something doesn’t make it true but it offers comfort to believe that the future holds more than […]
Why do people insist on celebrating the day you were pulled, kicking and screaming out of your mother, so much so that they do it every year. Why do we have to celebrate another year alive. Another year of underachieving and mistakes. Instead of moving forward with life i go backwards since last year. And this year its worse. Another year… Fuck it. Promised i wouldn’t ever see this birthday. Another promise gone…
Life is nothing but a series of comic fuck ups and disappointments, its like its just waiting for you to want something before it screws you over, u make every step forward that you can, you get everything under controll and one thing just comes along and puts you back to square one. The one thing u want more than anything else is dangled infront of you but u don’t get it. U get to be close enough to breath in its scent but u cant touch it. U get to be right beside it but u might as well be a million miles away […]
Newer Posts