I’ve been having some really good times recently, and I feel like it’s made me over hopeful about my life. What do you guys think?
All of me is very pathetic: I am not overweight, but am by no means strong, nor do I possess any significant measure of success or unique strength in any certain area. I work, eat- though sometimes I wish that I didn’t-, sleep, and spend the rest of the time just being lonely and writing about people that I see. It’s embarrassingly lame.
I am tired too: I don’t have anyone to just rest with. I watch porn because I’m so fracking lonely; I cry because it’s pathetic; then I pretend it didn’t happen, almost never really confronting it as an issue. I lie about it, […]
I hate small talk, and chide others for resorting to it in conversation, but I guess it is a good way to start a talk with others. So, what kind of weather do you guys prefer? Cold or hot? Wet and rainy or dry and windy? Winter, summer, spring, or fall?
Also, are your preferences tied to any childhood/cherished memories that make you feel good? Any nostalgia linked to the weather?
I felt kinda lonely, and just wanted to chat. I hope someone answers this.
I feel so lost right now: one of my few close friends- a girl- made me feel…………..special. We had just gone to see a marvel movie, and we were in the car, just chatting. I had previously mentioned to her passingly in the last week or so that I thought that I was going to being moving away soon, and she had reacted in a semi-sad, but mostly just bummed out way. But I brought the subject up again in the car, because I wanted to get her opinion on the whole thing. She started tearing up and sad that she’d really miss me. I […]
I go away, bound for a new land; my heart is clenched, and my ticket in hand.
In just a few days, this town I’ll ne’er see again; its pubs and libraries’ll be lost till who knows when.
I’ll ne’er forget or lose sight of those few I took heart with. In specific, and more so of late, one named Cat:
She’s always fresh in my mind, even since the first day we met- over a recently purchased elephant.
Her hair is like ginger root, glowing with a golden hue in the evening sun and her glowing rays;
Her eyes hold in them a soul of yearning and contemplation; milky […]
I cannot help anyone, let alone myself. My friends are suffering, and I am helpless to aid them.
It’s foul, and I hate it.
I often don’t have much time to myself; that, or I have so much I get slumped into massive periods of immense depression. I prefer to be more busy than free, but I’d enjoy finding a rhythm in life. I work, my classes, and immediate family favors; after that, I have some time to drive where I will. More often than not, I drive up to a cemetery to relax- the dead make me feel at peace. Maybe that’s weird; maybe it’s even disturbing, makes me a freak. I just don’t like noise and unpredictable people; so, being around “people” I know won’t disturb me […]
I wonder if anyone who also writes here knows me in real life. Often I hear of people recognizing each other on this platform, or meeting in real life and figuring it out. I doubt anyone knows me though: no common circles; really, a sure chance I am alone on here just like I am in real life. yesterday I was frank with my counselor- sometimes I lie without meaning to; I kinda just forget what I feel, or I cannot seem to speak what is in my mind. I told her that I was more alone than I have been in a while; or, […]
I am tired; I am worn: my eyes falter, and fail, wishing of and seeing only what I’ll never have- a lover: one of with whom I would love with, love things, make love, and care for love. I lust with myself to faceless women with wordless mouths and tear-less eyes. After all things, my heart is well traveled; for, despite not finding love as of yet, it seems as though emotions can be harmed without being brought out to the light. This makes me bitter: my lips let my tongue out, to speak vile things to innocent and unsuspecting family members and odd and […]
All these people, they stare at me;
They aren’t my equal, but I’m no good:
I want to run far away, but cannot feel my legs;
And if there were a finch, I’d keep it if I could.
All these people, they make me insecure;
I cannot keep my mind on what I have to do
If everyone and everything hurts, and there’s no cure.
If only I had a single place; but one happy thing.
All these people don’t make any sense;
I’d rather talk to rust forming on a fence.
They prefer to lie about every little thing,
But that makes understanding hard to outward bring.
I wish that all these people would just give […]
The title makes the theme pretty clear: I have buttloads of Social Anxiety, and it is a living Hell dealing with, ignoring, or confronting it on a daily, and sometimes, hourly basis. I have battled against it my whole memorable life, and I’ve had it up to here- *raises hand to tippy top of head* -with all the bullshit.
I had an amazing day today/yesterday, but all I can think about, all the thoughts I can conjure and obsess over are, “what if I fucked it up? What if the people I talked to and had coffee with in that wonderful, cozy cafe think I am […]
If you’ve ever seen any of my previous posts on my chronic mental and emotional afflictions, then you must know this: that I am in pain; and, for most people- if not all- pain is something people hate. They most often turn to addiction or something essentially the same to hide or suppress their issue, whatever it may be.
I myself have had addiction issues before, and still struggle with an addiction to Pornography. That, and my depression and all around loneliness will be the topics I so boringly lay out before you all in this post today.
Since a very young age, I have been obsessed […]
I have Tourette’s Syndrome; OCD; light Autism; chronic and crippling depression, anxiety, and various medical differences/flaws/disorders. My Tourette’s- or tics, as they are often called-. manifest themselves mostly in my mind. With the exception of a few verbal tics, and a plethora of motor/physical tics, I can hide the urges and pain which plagues and afflicts me at my every waking moment. My wife and the rest of my immediate family are all well aware of my suffering; they, unfortunately, however, realize or wish to realize the full extent to which I am truly in pain. The only spans of consciousness wherein I draw pleasure […]