sinner

The same shit all the time. My family argues in the car, sister all over me and not giving me any room, same “turn another leaf” bs. Same lack of understanding. Same lack of caring. I think about jumping out the car all the time, I wonder if they’d even care. But they dont drive fast enough to cause anything major, I don’t think.

I have no one. I’m so tired. Every morning I wake up and think “why the hell bother”

I get in this mood on sundays pretty often. Mainly because of the same bs that happens all the time in the car, and having […]

Went on vacation with a good friend of mine and her family for a week, and now I’m back. I was happier than I’ve been in a long time… I felt like I could escape things if only for awhile. Now we’re back and I have to go back home. I love my family but I dont want to go home. I dont want to go to that house, or walk into my door-less room. I know in the end theres no escape. I have to move on I suppose. I’m fine I guess but I dont think I belong anywhere. I’m just the guest […]

Still alive. Not alive and well, but alive at the very least. I’ve thought about self deletion but I’ve not been able to think of any sorts of methods or anything. Is that cowardly of me? Is it selfish? I don’t know. But I’m still trying to hold on. Everything just feels dark. I can’t shake it off, I haven’t been able to for months. I feel like its growing, even.

But I don’t know how to make it stop, I can’t break this stupid cycle that I’ve found myself in. It makes me feel really stupid and worthless, if I can’t get out […]

I’m just so tired. Life just… isn’t really worth living, is it? I mean, what is there now? Everything’s falling apart… one thing after another. It never stops. The only thing that stops are the good times. Shorter and shorter each time. I can’t understand it, and I feel so hopeless.

But… I try. That’s good, right? That’s what we’re supposed to do. Each day it’s so hard to just wake up. I don’t want to face the day and its perils. It never stops. I just don’t see the point of it. Funny enough I can’t see the point to live or even die, but […]

I’ve been on here a few times before, but I’ve never posted. Was too scared, I guess. I still am, really. What of, I’m not sure. I can state the obvious, like, I’m here because I want to die. But I’m too much of a coward to do anything. I’ve been very close, but that’s not enough, you know? I used to talk to people about it sometimes, but they never took me seriously on it. Now I don’t, because I’ve become too burdensome for that. But I still want friends, I still want to be liked, which is why I simply don’t talk about […]