Hello. Long time no see. Erm… this is rather unrelated to suicide, but I wanted to know if anyone here is getting a warning for a malicious site when visiting SP? I use Avast! antivirus, as well as Firefox, and every time I come here I get a warning that looks like this:
Malicious URL Blocked
avast! Network Shield has blocked a harmful site.
Object: http://cdn.mauiblogger.net/k
Infection: URL:Mal
Is this a false positive or what? Am I the only one this is happening to? It’s very annoying.
Maybe this post is irrelevant, but when has it ever mattered in the past. I’ve been on this site for a year and while I’m less depressed than I was, I’m still in the same damn boat I got on 3 and half years ago. I can’t believe it’s been so long. Time just flew by. I hardly noticed it’s passing. Days meld together and become a blur. I’ve aged in that time and yet I still feel like I belong in high school or something. Not because that’s my mentality, but, I don’t know what I mean. It’s just… that’s the last thing I […]
Since you’re too lazy to start your own thread, I figured I’d start one. I’m already hungry and now you’re teasing me about donuts. And worst of all… chocolate donuts. Is this payback for taking so long to email you back. haha. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day here in Amurica – so I’ll have plenty of food to eat. Don’t you worry about that. Pumpkin pie for dessert. But I’d rather have donuts, now that you mention them.
Thanks for the compliment. You told me last year that I was hauntingly beautiful. That my eyes told you I was an old soul. Something like that. It’s […]
So why the hell do I bother saying anything?
No one gives a shit about what I have to say. I continually have to learn that lesson. Each time it hurts the same as the previous times. But I keep trying anyway. Apparently, my life path is the ‘Way of Articulation’. But why bother articulating myself to people who could care less or hate what I have to say? There’s just no point.
So I’m done with it. Fuck it.
It’s warm out this evening. There’s a slightly warm breeze that brings with it the smell of over-ripened peppers from the field across the street. As I’m sitting on the top stair in the entryway to our house, I realize that it’s the last evening of August. As expected, I become melancholy that Summer is coming to a close. Suddenly I feel a surge of panic. How did the days pass me by so quickly? What did I do? I can’t remember doing much of anything. Another Summer gone by; wasted away. I stand up and walk to the end of our driveway, looking towards […]
I’ve always questioned everything. I have no desire to conform to the societal “norm”. I get depressed when I’m faced with the reality that I have to conform in order to live how I want to live. But how is it living at all? It’s modern slavery. I don’t want to die, so what else can I do? I had no say in this. I had no choice. I was born and now here I am. I’m stuck in this body, on this planet, in this country, in my town. I didn’t choose any of this. This was put upon me and now I have […]
So, uh, it’s been a while since I posted or commented or anything. I actually wasn’t going to make a post for a while yet, not until I felt sure about making some sort of progress. But I was just lurking, haha, which, honestly, I haven’t lurked for weeks, and I saw one_day was wondering about me. Well, I wouldn’t want anyone to think I might’ve offed myself since I haven’t been around. And I don’t know if anyone else was really wondering about me – just in case, I’m here to let you know.
My last post – I just went over it again […]
Hello fellow SPers. Apparently my last post was on February 18th. A lot has happened between then and now. And yet, not a lot has happened. Catch my drift? I should say, a lot has happened to me emotionally and mentally since then. Has it ever. I surely didn’t expect to be depressed for this long. Or for it to get this far. To reach this point. How did I end up here? How could I have allowed this to happen? No. I shouldn’t say that. I shouldn’t be too hard on myself.
I had a mini breakdown this past weekend. I let my worrying […]
I know I haven’t posted in a while and that’s because I didn’t have anything to say. Now I have something to say. And it’s about the loveliest of creatures – a mother. I just got done talking to mine a bit ago, no, I wasn’t talking, she was. And that’s part of the problem. She talks and I don’t. She wants me to talk though. This sounds like it would be easily solved, but I feel like it’s not that easy. You see, my mom is not that interesting to me. That’s a horrible thing to say, but it’s pretty true. We’re just so […]
Dear depressed-Taylor,
I hope I’m not interrupting your busy schedule or anything. I needed to tell you something important. So shut off the music and listen. The simple fact is, I miss you. I miss your smile. I miss your laugh. God, I miss that goofy laugh. Remember how contagious it was? Remember when you were a kid and you would get into these terrible fits of laughter that practically landed you on the floor? I miss that. Everything used to make you laugh. Now you hardly ever laugh. I miss your stupid jokes. I miss how […]
For ama and Will, as promised. Most of my dreams are weird and usually vivid. And a lot of them are nightmares. I think they are influenced by anxiety, depression, and pills. ha. Feel free to share yours.
I’ll start out with a recurring nightmare I can still remember from when I was a kid. The dream was always the same; it was dinner time and me and my parents were sitting at the table. I was told to go check something in the basement. I walked down the hallway and opened the basement door, I started to descend the stairs slowly. In the basement […]
So, I went out into the world today. Crazy, I know. I didn’t even give a shit if I looked like a zombie. I didn’t try to put on a happy face or smile at strangers or laugh needlessly. I was myself. I was my emotionally drained self. I felt like I wasn’t really ‘there’ today. Not like an out-of-body thing, though. Ugh, I don’t know how to explain it. One of the things I did today was return a pair of jeans that were too loose. I now have $28.00 to my name. Yay. I’m going to hold on to that 28 dollars like […]
(I was going to put this as a comment under my picture but, I didn’t really want to start a big discussion there about jobs and the economy)
Please, would someone just listen to me? Sometimes I feel like I’m talking to a brick wall.
I really, honestly appreciate the thoughts and ideas for what I can do. However, I am not stupid. I KNOW my options. I know what to do and how to be and what to say. Even though I’ve talked about myself in a few posts and comments here doesn’t mean you really know me or what my life is like.
I […]
So, I got to thinking about how a parent’s personality can really screw a kid up and effect them throughout their lifetime.
Then that thought led me into another about the state of the world.
I came up with a question for all of you insightful people on this site. I’m curious and I’d love to know what everyone thinks.
Before I ask my question, I want to highlight some facts (that you should already be aware of);
-The world population is now 7 billion and counting. Overcrowding is becoming an issue.
-Global warming is getting increasingly worse. More natural disaters destroying homes and land. Ice […]
For about two weeks now I’ve experienced a loss of appetite. When I look at food, even foods I like, I have absolutely no desire to eat them. And I rarely get hungry. The thing is, I want to be able to eat. I don’t enjoy not eating. At first it was just a little annoying, nothing that even concerned me that much. I tried not to pay it any mind. That is until my mom said to me, “Your hands are so cold. Why aren’t you eating? I hope nothing is seriously wrong with you.”
That did it. She inceptioned, if you will, the […]
What I’ve been observing on this site so far has me questioning some things.
I’ve only come across nice, intelligent, thoughtful people who happen to be down-on-their-luck, sometimes abused, and suicidal. Life situations aside; why is that? Is it because nice, thoughtful people are more susceptible to life’s pains? Why aren’t more assholes suicidal? I mean really. They would only be doing the world a favor. Maybe that’s too harsh. Maybe I’m just naive. Is it wrong and naive to think that such good souls deserve better? That they do not deserve death? Even if death by their own hands is what they choose?
It makes me […]
I’m writing this while in a bad mood, so I might not even feel the same later on. Or maybe I will. I don’t know. Excuse my ramblings.
The past 3 nights I’ve actually gotten sleep. Like a full 8 hours, no waking up, no real trouble going to sleep. The only reason I got sleep in the first place was because I took an over the counter sleeping pill. The kind you take for headaches and pain but also to help you sleep. I shouldn’t have to resort to taking pills, but I do. I should be happy that I finally got some damn sleep, […]
Just wondering if anyone else here has insomnia like I do.
Most nights I can’t fall asleep until 3 or 4 am. And throughtout the night, or should I say morning, I wake up constantly.
I take a sleeping pill (natural sleeping aid; not prescription or otherwise) every night too. I’ve been taking them since I was a young teenager. Clearly they don’t work, but I take it anyway, just cause.
I know stress has something to do with it. And stress can also affect your dreams. I have had some really weird, out there, Twilight Zone-type dreams.
Anywho..
Hi all, I’m new to this site. I was led here from another site about suicide. So I started reading through some of the posts on here and found I could relate to so many of them. I decided to post my ramblings. I apologize in advance if this is extremely long. I just want to get out what’s been bottled up for a while now.
I’m only 20 years old and I feel like a failure. Like I have no real future. Like my life has no purpose. Recently, I’ve been thinking about suicide. About a month ago I took a walk and not too far […]
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