Todamnbad

I’m real

I’m what you actually see

Nobody wants to see me though

So they run away into their dreams

I creep upon people when they are sleep

I’m the first thing they see when they wake

Oh do they wish I wasn’t real

But only your dreams are fake

I’m the cruelest dream

And such a pain

Most people take their lives

So they don’t have to see my face

A worthless poet with nothing to live

Should of kept his depression to himself, minding his biz

I walk through the valley of shadow of death. Don’t say that.

You’re a nihilist, you know Christianity doesn’t mean sh*t

Did I offend somebody, sorry it was my depression

It doesn’t care for me like your worthless beliefs

How could you say that about our creator. I don’t know Galileo must of proved something to be right

And it wasn’t your creator.

How could you say that?

I’m not pathetic enough to believe lie

All I ever wanted out of life was to die

Why don’t you use to just to do it then?

Death isn’t easy, neither is […]

I have tried so many times in the past to kill myself but always failed miserably. I haven’t suffered alot of damage. Just one big cut on my forearm from trying. I’m one of the souls on this earth impatient to die but can’t follow through. Making the earth more hell because of his own existence. I know I seem dramatic and exaggerated, but this life isn’t worth it. I guess I am a nihilist. Lost all hopes and ambitions in life. Don’t see the point of living. Can’t change my life. Just kill me.

Does anybody here overthink or easily stress themselves out? I guess that’s what anxiety is. I never feel calm and my mind keeps overthinking shit like its so important to try to remember everything and i hate it. What would you recommend for a person that struggles with daily constant thoughts, easily stressed out and overthinking?

If anyone remembers my username, i have been a member for about 2 years. Trying to fight off my suicidal thoughts. As I can very least say, for me; it never ends. Suffered two finger injuries that led to two surgeries. But are a year apart. 2015 tendon repair on right middle digit, 2016 pins in snapped pinkie. Anyways, these injuries have taken a great toll on me as the physical pain is never ending.  I slit my wrist back in feburary of 2017. Yeah, each year takes a part of me. Those scars of damage have never left me. If the trauma doesn’t haunt […]

This is my MRI i got earlier this month. That nice white spot in the back of my head is good chance of a brain lesion. Spoke to neurologist before this, on the 25th he will see this, but i wanted to know the truth instead of waiting 2 weeks. The reason i have this is because i had to go to a different facility and i have to give him a cd with this info to diagnose me

Anyways, they’re good chances i have multiple […]

I come to realize how fake of a human being i actually am. I hide my depression, pretending to be happy. I think I’m at a point where money couldn’t make me happy, not because i don’t have any, but because money can’t solve my problems. I ust find ways to cope and take my problems head on. I always try strengthen my weaknesses. If i’m bad at something, I try making myself better at it which is a good thing because practice makes perfect. I came to a point in life, where words don’t hurt anymore. I have reached my lowest low, which means […]

I cant give the method of how i want to die but i can tell you the cause. Carbon monoxide poisoning which is suppose to be the most peaceful way to die. You lose consciousness and die in your sleep. I been wanting to act on it. I might try it tonight. If you don’t notice, im really fucking tired of living

I always felt like suicide is what I’m feeling in the air tonight. That’s what I feel like Phil Collin’s song is about. Waiting for this moment all my life , death

I like this place because only people i don’t know can judge me. And facebook is just a copy of a instagram. And nothing is worth looking at on there. Memes and news stories with the most f’d up titles.

To the point, might be moving here soon, the lease is up but were gonna renew it and break it when we can when find a cheaper place to live. Gonna lose the deposit regardless. Cops broke all the doors when a friend called 911 when i sent him a video of my wrist gashing blood. I regret it but honestly, i wish i finished the […]

What’s Our Purpose?

I always have questioned our existence and watched all kinds of videos on it. How we are here for a just mere moment before we die. Life feels like it will never end, but you and I both know it happens to everybody. We’re also scared of losing people that matter to us. Like  i constantly worry about my dad because he drives 40 min back and forth to work everyday. All it takes is a car crash, or a stroke. My friend’s uncle just passed away last Monday and it freaked me out because i was friends with him. Not close friends […]

Who here is also jealous of the dead? Like, why couldn’t it have been me who died….

I don’t know where to start a chat for the suicide project but we should, there’s a lot of us that come here. We should take the time to actually talk to each other like messaging each other, not just comments.

Off Topic

I want to die, there’s so much darkness in my life. Like just kill me already. Yeah things are alright. But I’m not ready for them to get worse. I can’t take more than what I’m already handling. If you give it deep thought, you are trapped in this world, this body, this mind. And if you can relate, you just want out. I […]

Nothing in this world can save me, that’s why people like us resort to suicide, that’s our only way to find peace. Its impossible to find peace alive. Its also impossible to find reasons to stay alive. I just want death. Its so fucked up I crave death. I wish I crave normal things like love and money, but no, I want to fucking die. I might still be here tonight. But I’m going to get extremely fucked up, I’m going to take like 3 boxes of Coricidin. Enough to go visit God and comeback. Its always a bad trip. But I’m already in hell. […]

As I look further into life, I seen more tragedies and people that are blessed. They didn’t live a perfect life because no human being is perfect, but they lived really close to it.

My facebook newfeeds is always filled with RIP to kids my age, I’m about to be 20. Like its crazy some people won’t live to see themselves grow into a adult.

My best advice as I suppose, please continue living. There is help in this world, reach out to that someone you can trust and help you. Nobody’s a saint but I’m sure there is people that love you.

Please don’t argue this, suicide […]

Here I am again, depressed again. Always coming back to this website. I find comfort knowing there is other people who feels the same as I do. To be honest, I don’t know why I stick around. I have no good plans, no job, no money, I do have a roof over my head and a family that cares about me. But its not them. I can’t stand my fucking life. I want out. I begged God to strike me. I tried numerous times to kill myself. I just can’t fucking win over the will to live.  Idk what to do, I’m stuck in this […]

     I feel like death is my only option, im in so much PAIN (physically) my scars never healed, they still feel like open wounds, i suffered so much, i don’t want a lifetime full of pain, this shit has been such a burden. I just want out and gone. This life wasn’t meant for me.

     God only gives you what you can handle? I think not, its always been test, how much you could take before you do something that’s either irrational or considered the unthinkable which is something Society is not use to seeing. I hope your days get better, […]