Author

U.N. Owen

Guilt trips. Comparison.

by U.N. Owen 4/17/2012

written by U.N. Owen

It is funny how when people are upset about their issues, one of the main responses they are given is a comparison to people who are considerably worse off by objective comparison.

Nobody brings up people who seem to be considerably doing better by a similar comparison.Â

The motive behind it is understandable, yet since this is a world with no gurantees and one can only control ones actons and thoughts to a limited extent after one is born, why shoul one feel guilty for being born in a country where poverty is less of a problem than say a third world country.

Why should one feel guilty […]

4/17/2012 15 comments

Freedom of impending death

by U.N. Owen 4/10/2012

written by U.N. Owen

Yesterday I got my living will in order.Â Cashed in all of my investments and assets. Paid off all my major bills up until the date of my demise.Â Still have to buy food and sundries though.Â As well as going to quite a few events and purchasing a lot of anime and asian horror to watch up until the day.Â Sent off my contributions to the local children’s hospitals.Â May go and visit again the week before I go.

For once I am at peace.

No more pain and prescription side effects. from the mental meds and the physical meds.Â Strange how even living a healthy […]

4/10/2012 6 comments

Death date possibly moving up.

by U.N. Owen 4/4/2012

written by U.N. Owen

Probably getting our hours cut at work down to part time in the next few months.Â And my other job is laying me off.

Which means even less money on top of the salary cut last year.

And they are adding considerably more work and duties.

Not complaining but this place is just jacking us left and right.

Even though we exceeded paramaters for a year without a manager and six months without a direct supervisor.

Was trying to hang on until January of next year for my birthday but seems like it will be sometime this summer.

Guess I can take someone’s advice on here and get a credit card […]

4/4/2012 15 comments

Parents

by U.N. Owen 4/4/2012

written by U.N. Owen

Coming from a religion heavy city and family abortion is not a choice for them.

And very few of them believe in adoption because they feel like if a person has a child that person should have no option at all but to raise the child despite the circumstances. Their philosophy is “God will provide.”

Seems like reality in some cases is a bit different. On sites like this and in RL there are so many children who are neglected and abused by their parents.Â Which of course does not doom them but does give them a more difficult start than children without that problem.

To the point […]

4/4/2012 2 comments

Solace in solitude and impending demise

by U.N. Owen 4/3/2012

written by U.N. Owen

Go away. I do not want you around. Let me alone. Stop asking what is wrong.

You cannot fix it. Nobody can fix it. No I do not want to see it a different way because it will still exist.

I do not want to deal with it at all. I never asked for it. I never wanted it.

All your suggestions have been tried. And I refuse to settle.Â Refuse to accept and deal with that which is not wanted.

No more risks.Â No more grasping at straws. No more extending a hand only to get it burned or bitten.

No more believing the lies.Â No more giving in […]

4/3/2012 8 comments

Selfish. Living or Dying.

by U.N. Owen 3/30/2012

written by U.N. Owen

This is not a judgement on anyone’s life or lifestyle.Â

I have noticed how the pro-life people always say that suicide is a selfsh act because it will hurt people who are left behind. Or maybe it will leave certain responsibilities unfinished or undone.Â Â This is true to an extent.Â What they are saying is that others lives and comfort matter more than yours on all levels and you should bear suffering and responsibility for the sake of others in your life.Â Except for a little personal pleasure that you should seek out meaning by serving others.Â It is a vlaid viewpoint.

There are people all over […]

3/30/2012 19 comments

False strength.

by U.N. Owen 3/28/2012

written by U.N. Owen

You come from a family that throws the word love around like it is going out of style.Â Hugs and kisses aplenty.Â Very stable as far as emotional content.Â Ah but there is not always food.Â You have to attend school in rags. Your friends enjoy their toys and games but you have little or none.Â Not because they lack, but to teach you independence. To teach you discipline. To teach you responsibility.

Oh and when you are attacked an abused on multiple occasions over several years, you are told to suck it up and man up about it.Â Because you are a boy and not […]

3/28/2012 3 comments

Leave me be.

by U.N. Owen 3/27/2012

written by U.N. Owen

The only people I prefer not to be around are those who are only around you for what you can do for them.
If it is not some women for how much you can spend or how much they can use you to be their emotional sponge, or family who at every turn reminds you of how less in their eyes you are because you are different but still is always wanting something from you, or male associates who either want to borrow something, get a hookup, or use you as an alibi or to bail them out of trouble.

Not that one minds helping people […]

3/27/2012 3 comments

Noriko’s Dinner Table/Suicide Club(Circle)

by U.N. Owen 3/16/2012

written by U.N. Owen

Two Japanese movies concerning life and death.

Suicide Club just covers a general ideas and peopleÂ and Noriko’s Dinner Table gets deeper into the ideas and mainly covers a family.Â At first it seemed like a totally new approach but within a short time I figured out it was just a new expression of old ideas.

It was rather interesting to me for purely entertainment value as well because I own quite a few Japanese/Korean/Chinese horror/suspense movies and am used to the flow of it.Â May wierd some people out but if you are in the mood for something different and you have never viewed this genre, try […]

3/16/2012 1 comment

Winning. Fighting. Foundation.

by U.N. Owen 3/16/2012

written by U.N. Owen

Mainly again to the youth because their stories are just so harsh. And they usually can do nothing but be victimized because they are not old enough to legally leave, not able to sustain themselves, or the authority personnel will not or cannot help them.

Which means their lives consist of what others do to them. And they have no recourse except to just sit there and take it. Even through their efforts of trying to escape or get the situation handled better.

The reason I am aiming at the kids is that many of us adults have caused our own problems. That does not exempt us […]

3/16/2012 1 comment

Couple of links to raise the spirits of those with hope

by U.N. Owen 3/8/2012

written by U.N. Owen

http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Have-A-Place-In-My-Heart-For-Broken-People/2097905

http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Have-A-Place-In-My-Heart-For-Broken-People/2037075?csb=true

http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Have-A-Place-In-My-Heart-For-Broken-People/2006073?csb=true

http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Have-A-Place-In-My-Heart-For-Broken-People/1118092

http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Have-A-Place-In-My-Heart-For-Broken-People/2097749

3/8/2012 1 comment

Worse Better Equal Wonder

by U.N. Owen 3/6/2012

written by U.N. Owen

This may offend some so if it does I am apologizing in advance.

In a lot of cases when people post on here about their troubles and desire to dieÂ some remind them of people inÂ comparativelyÂ worse situations.Â And for them to be thankful that they are not dealing with that.Â I do not disagree with that per se.

Still I wonder what it means when globally we consider adequate food, shelter, water, education, transport, and respectful treatment by other people a luxury.

We push and refuse to accept anything except in so many areas in life except for basic human needs. Of course I know we cannot force a […]

3/6/2012 7 comments

Rational Death

by U.N. Owen 3/6/2012

written by U.N. Owen

The below only applies to me and me only and not to others. I’m neither amazing nor special. Nothing I have done would not or could not be done by another human elsewhere. I am just a random collection of microscopic particles that happen to converge in what our species perceives as life.

Â Any depression or other mental issue was just a fluctuation in my brain chemistry. Made all the worse by me having expectations and attempting to find meaning in life when the only meaning that exists is the arbitrary and subjective meaning I choose to put on and in it. Which technically speaking amounts […]

3/6/2012 3 comments

To those who want to live, check this out.

by U.N. Owen 2/29/2012

written by U.N. Owen

http://www.youtube.com/user/OnisionSpeaks?feature=watch

He has some pretty good videos on reasons for people to live.

Especially geared towards the younger generation.Â Was listening to one of the many ASMR videos I enjoy and one of the posters had a video that asked the question of do people want to live forever.

This guy was cross referenced in the side panel. I thought that it may help some people on this site.Â He puts a light side to things.

2/29/2012 5 comments

That pesky hope.

by U.N. Owen 2/28/2012

written by U.N. Owen

This only applies to my own perception and not to anyone else’s.Â Do not want to be accused of trying to play the should game.

Seems everything is built around taking suffering and moving on. And those who choose not to are referred to as weak. I disagree.Â Sometimes people just get tired of the pain and the pleasure that does come is not enough.

No positive thinking or positive action will save one from all malevolence, and as ridiculous as that may sound to many people, I’d prefer a life free from any trouble.

Most trouble has no point and the ones that teach lessons are only […]

2/28/2012 3 comments

To the younger posters

by U.N. Owen 2/13/2012

written by U.N. Owen

This has no specific age range but is directed more towards those who have not yet been free to make their own decisions.

I want everyone who wants to to live. Especially you my little brothers and sisters. Because you have not yet been able to live your own lives.Â Have not yet been able to freely choose anything outside the limits placed on you and the strong influences upon your minds and emotions.Â From your posts many of you have an amazing and solid grasp on life and that would be wasted by you dying and not being able to enrich yourselves with your talents.

Many […]

2/13/2012 13 comments

Ridiculous mindset.

by U.N. Owen 2/12/2012

written by U.N. Owen

The physical pain and the disease remain. Those cannot be cured.Â But the mental pain, the betrayals, the tragedies, the taking of my innocence as a child which warped me for most of my life.Â No counseling could make me expose that…. that horror….in my time boys were raised to be the strong silent type….. and even if the occurrence was not your fault you could not tell.

Because you did not want anyone to think you were not a man. So you overcompensate by trying to excel at everything.Â Grades, martial arts, sports, charisma, poetry, art, women, loyalty, generosity, being the alpha male amongst your […]

2/12/2012 3 comments

Not So Real Friend

by U.N. Owen 1/29/2012

written by U.N. Owen

I cannot blame her.for what she did. Any normal person would have done so.Â And I did not get locked up for it so it was not too bad. But she was rather sneaky with it.Â She invited me to dinner supposedly with someone she wanted to ‘fix me up with”.Â Course I told her my interest in that waned years ago.Â Still she insisted that at least give the woman a chance because supposedly she was into a lot of the things I was.

Went to dinner earlier this week and it went okay,Â Her ‘friend’ askedÂ a lot of questions.Â I should have seen […]

1/29/2012 3 comments

Selfish solitude

by U.N. Owen 1/27/2012

written by U.N. Owen

The internet is a most practical thing for me and I am sure others if any are similar.

Not really social anxiety but more so just preference for solitude has been with me my whole life.Â Â Not a problem to mesh with others, just felt like I was in the wrong place.Â

The noise, the physical contact/attention/affection desired by some of them, the seeming need for some ofÂ them to always have something to say every moment, the preference some had to always have to be around you for their own security.Â

May just have been the wrong people but from family to everyone else in my life that […]

1/27/2012 9 comments

Death and life.

by U.N. Owen 1/26/2012

written by U.N. Owen

As far as death is concerned there are those who emphasize it being the end of all things, even the possibilities of positive occurences.Â Even going so far as to say it will get better, as if no other negatives will occur or the positives will outweigh the negatives in the future.

Not saying this cannot happen, but for someone whose negatives have outweighed their positives, especially those who have been continually abused and usedÂ as children, teens, and adults this somewhat optimistic view is very hard to swallow.

And effort and attitude are only parts of the picture.Â One can have the most positive attitude in the […]

1/26/2012 3 comments

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