Category:

Family & Friends Effects

The effects of suicide on family and friends.

I am no one

by velveteennightingale 8/22/2016

written by velveteennightingale

There’s so much I want to say. It’s literally stressing me out. I am 15, and I am world weary. I am a zoo animal trapped behind glass, never existing with the world. Always apart. There are people living right now, but I can never exist with them. I have no motivation to do anything anymore. I am a pathological liar. I have misophonia. I am SO insecure. My family used to be homeless, and I feel guilty that we aren’t anymore. I feel like a fake-I suck at being normal; I don’t fit in with the misfits. I think I have mild OCD. My […]

8/22/2016 4 comments

A reminder.

by Dandelion 8/22/2016

written by Dandelion

Today should’ve been their birthday.

I let off a balloon at the top of a very big hill we loved. Watched the stars beneath it one night – it was beautiful, but not as much as the soul sharing the experience with me…

Seven days have passed and it’s not getting easier. Constantly I’m being informed it wasn’t my fault and there was nothing I could’ve done – bullshit, but I digress. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. But the honest truth is they would still be alive had I let them stay.

So much I had planned to do today, before all the drama, before all the […]

8/22/2016 4 comments

Can someone just kill me?

by Lonely1457 8/22/2016

written by Lonely1457

I feel like everyone is against me. Always yelling at me, always complaining about me, always telling me what to do and always blaming me. It’s not me and my mood swings but I’ve had enough of everyone. I’m just staying here but I’m always get the blame on. Someone just take me away. I wish I was never born into this family. I fucking hate this house. It’s everyday. When I feel that my life is improving, it becomes worse than before.

8/22/2016 3 comments

I’m responsible.

by Dandelion 8/20/2016

written by Dandelion

It’s been five days since I lost the most wonderfully precious person I’ve ever known.

We met in a strange way, reading each other’s writing and in the end, wrote together. Many magical stories that will stay forever on the internet. Like my own personal treasure trove and remembrance. On Monday, time unknown to me as I’ve been given little details from their family, they ended their existence and took with them a great portion of me.

Now, this is the less magical, more regrettable part. I’m at fault for this. They were in love with me, through and through, and I adored them beyond anything – platonically. […]

8/20/2016 5 comments

It will never get better

by Goneandforgotten 8/20/2016

written by Goneandforgotten

Two years ago I tried to kill myself. I had been in therapy for over a year before that and it did not help. After a hellish week in the hospital, a 10 day outpatient program and 3 months of twice weekly outpatient and continued therapy (still going) things were “better”.

But they weren’t. I have put on a facade for so long that I don’t even know who I am anymore. After my attempt I promised my kitty I would stay here for him. He died July 6th. I was in a newish relationship with someone who I really liked, and he could not handle my […]

8/20/2016 3 comments

Relapse

by lulereign 8/20/2016

written by lulereign

It’s been awhile since I wrote here. I’m so terribly ashamed that I don’t know who to go to. After almost 4 months of been clean, I just had to go do it. I realise that these things don’t disappear. It waits for a single moment of weakness and starts to fester again until it’s strong enough to tear you down.

the suicidal thoughts are back, although the it’s not as prominent as before. I don’t even know when they snuck up. I was so content, perhaps I was too complacent. And now all I can think of is to escape.

I wonder why people choose to […]

8/20/2016 4 comments

Why.

by mememachine 8/20/2016

written by mememachine

If this ever crops up on my social media I’m sorry. It means that I’ve truly become nothing but a failure, that I’ve totally failed to keep myself alive for another day.

I’m sorry. I shouldn’t do this. My life isn’t terrible, it never really was. Compared to the thousands of suffering humans who drag themselves awake each day and somehow smile all the while, my life is great. I just, can’t anymore. I can’t seek help, it’s too late, I failed. I couldn’t help myself, so who could.

My life started out great, my mother was a well earning nurse, I had friends, a dog, and […]

8/20/2016 4 comments

Malaise

by anothernoone 8/20/2016

written by anothernoone

First time posting here.

I’ve been, I guess you could say “actively suicidal” in the past. Perhaps not currently. But, on some level, I’m always thinking about it.

I feel tired. old. most of all, worthless.

I’m not who I set out to be. I was reading someone else’s post on here about how it could take just one big thing to fuck up your life forever. and yeah. but, breaking it down, it’s probably not one thing or one event, but a whole series of things over a whole series of years. or you hit so many setbacks, fallen off the proverbial horse so many times, you […]

8/20/2016 2 comments

I don’t even know anymore.

by Lonely1457 8/19/2016

written by Lonely1457

I just want to be gone. Not the dead gone just yet but the runaway gone. I want to run far far away where no one will remember me and I will lose contact with everyone. I might as well just fake my death. I personally however feel like suicide is a sin for me. I’m sick of this family. It sucks to be a girl because you are disrespected (in this family). Then there are my friends who will never be there for me. Who takes my problem and changes it to theirs so they won’t have to listen to my crap […]

8/19/2016 3 comments

Life sucks.

by Lonely1457 8/18/2016

written by Lonely1457

I’m very sensitive about any topic about my grandma. Well, today I was criticized for everything I did. Honestly that’s almost everyday but today was the worst. Anyways, then one of my sibling went with a low blow as to mentioning my grandma. My grandma has been someone who I love so much and the topic of her makes me depressed, good or bad since she passed away. I just want to cry. That was such a fucking low blow as my sibling criticized me by guilt tripping me mentioning that. Now I am here wanting to cry out loud. Goodness it hurts.

8/18/2016 1 comment

I’m Really Sorry

by AKidWithAName 8/17/2016

written by AKidWithAName

I don’t want to live. There is absolutely no point in it. No matter what I do, my parents will never be proud of me. I know that this is a shitty reason. It sounds shitty. It sounds like I’m over-exaggerating. It sounds like I don’t understand.

But the thing is, I do understand. My parents want the best for me, which is more than I should be able to ask for. But, I am a selfish and discontent human being. I want something to go my way. I’m not right. There’s something wrong with me. That’s probably just me trying to get attention. Ahahahahhaha […]

8/17/2016 2 comments

I held on…

by whenallthestarsfall 8/17/2016

written by whenallthestarsfall

I held on…through everything over the last year……I held on…being turned inside out…. I held on… giving it one last try as I hung on to nothing….I held on…while grasping for anything as I fell through nothing but open space…. I held on…as time keeps marching on, as it forgets me in it’s wake….

I held on…..because I know what it is like to be alone….I held on…. because I know what it’s like to have people turn their back on you… I held on…. as I cried alone…. I held on as my heart finished breaking as I held my infant son one last time….I […]

8/17/2016 5 comments

Why they don’t notice it?

by closedworld 8/17/2016

written by closedworld

I hate it. I fucking hate it how everybody act like everything is just peachy!!! Everything is like fucking nightmare. They don’t notice it. They don’t notice how I am not eating my food. How I am dying. They don’t notice that the smile that I show is fake. Even my parents don’t notice that I am just acting like everything is perfect. I mean they are my parents right? They should know when I am lying they should know when I am putting act.

But they don’t. They don’t notice that I am acting. Every night when I go to my bed I don’t sleep. […]

8/17/2016 6 comments

Fed up

by Psychob1tch1989 8/13/2016

written by Psychob1tch1989

I dont really know why i made this thing, im not sure that it will change my mind on suicide. Ive had a rough life since age 10 and im the only one to blame for that. At 10 i began being molested by a boy a couple of years older than me, i am the oldest of 7 blood siblings and have two older half siblings. I allowed this for years as long as he never bothered my siblings which obviously didnt happen and when i told my mom she just brushed it off as kids playing. Few years later at age 15 i […]

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8/13/2016 8 comments

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Why Do I Do This

by justonemorecut 8/13/2016

written by justonemorecut

Why? Why do I do this to myself? Why do I keep making myself suffer? Why don’t I have the courage to do it?

This is my life and I can do it if I want to, I’m tired of people saying don’t, I’m sick of them telling me to stop being so damn selfish and to think of others. Like I’m a person too damnit why cant they think of what I’m going through, Why cant they see the pain I see why do they have the strength I don’t have. Where the hell am I supposed to go a damn hospital doesn’t help I […]

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8/13/2016 1 comment

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Am I evil person

by kupo95 8/12/2016

written by kupo95

I know this post will sound stupid but ever since my divorce I have been living with my grandfather. this is most time we ever spent togther . main reason why is because he got remarried The year I was born .turns out is now wife who is a demon left him she is the main reason why none of his grandchildren spent any time with him growing up . she made sure we wernt a big part of his life . my grand father is a sever heart patient. He works in construction and after his first stent he was back at work […]

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8/12/2016 1 comment

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Unfair Situation

by GerbzBaby 8/11/2016

written by GerbzBaby

So today me and my friend were supposed to hang out.. But we didn’t because the time, the place everything was messed up. I got very upset because it seemed like he didn’t care at all.. And I was really hoping to since home sucks (it also seemed like he didn’t want to hang out because we weren’t going to hang out at my house) and I lost a good friend (my Therpaist whom didn’t die! She just moved buildings and I wasn’t able to go with her to continue seeing her)..So I just ignored my friends snaps. It helped to calm me down somewhat. […]

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8/11/2016 2 comments

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There is nothing more for me, need the end to set me free. Trapped in myself, body my holding cell.

by fadetoblack 8/10/2016

written by fadetoblack

I met you in my junior year of high school. its been almost 7 years since then, and exactly one month now since I last saw you. From the moment we met I knew there was something special in you, it didn’t take me more than a week to confess my love to you. From the very start I knew you were the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, you were just different than everyone else. Even after you moved away for school, I was always there when you needed me. I was in a dark place when you moved […]

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8/10/2016 3 comments

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Whats new

by usedcanvas 8/9/2016

written by usedcanvas

So a lot has happened since i last posted. My relationship has gotten a lot better. He’s a lot more understanding but, I still hide stuff, nothing bad…well kinda bad. I hide how bad my anxiety is but i do that with everyone not just him. But he doesn’t know that I’ve tried to commit suicide or that I’ve cut, and relapsed 2 weeks ago but haven’t since. He also doesn’t know how often i get anxiety attacks. He recently saw a small one but i labeled it as an asthma attack, which i get often. I got an anxiety attack because me and my […]

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8/9/2016 2 comments

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This is how it ends…..

by whenallthestarsfall 8/8/2016

written by whenallthestarsfall

I find myself running in circles more often than not. I find myself giving myself away, again and again and again….always to the wrong people. I find I care too much because I am always trying to live for someone else. I find myself alone, even when, I am in a room full of people.

There is no action that I can make that will equal an opposite reaction; for all my actions only end up one way….heartbreak.

I’ve given all I can, I have tried all I dare to try any longer. I am not wanted, I am not loved, I am a human that […]

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8/8/2016 2 comments

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