General

I figure everybody has a comfort food movie or couple of movies, so that’s why I ask the question.

Right now I’m watching Pet Semetary, which is one of mine because it has that beautiful contrast of that lifestyle I want to live in the country but it also deals with mortality, death and the lack of control we all have. Well I’m actually watching Pet Semetary Bloodlines first to see if it gets better on re viewing.

I’m fascinated by the use of the legend of the Wendigo by this film series, same goes for the use in Until Dawn.

Another comfort food film is Dark Night […]

Just found out from my mom today that my dad’s doctors think that he’s got some kind of condition in his brain that is setting him up for a major stroke. Also he’s not doing well at all. I know he’s been telling me he’s not feeling well, but I could see it while I was with him today.

I guess I just need to go over and check on him tomorrow, there’s nothing else that will make me feel any better. I can’t discribe this feeling, or what he means to me. I’m not ready for him to go, I talked about this with my […]

As if my ENTIRE life hasn’t been bad enough…
The Universe wants to throw MORE shit at me.

FUCK YOU UNIVERSE
and
Fuck EVERY SINGLE SHITTY PERSON that has ever screwed me over
and
FUCK ALL THE SHITTY FUCKING DRS that have repeated IGNORED ALL MY SYMPTOMS despite me telling you all for 22 Fucking Years that SOMETHING was wrong.

Do I NOW have a reason to be angry?
And All these MFs kept telling me to “not be angry,” “think happy,” “don’t dwell on the past,” “stop thinking negatively,” “just get over it,” etc
FUCK YOU TOO
cuz NONE of you guys 1- ever gave a […]

If this is true, this is crazy (though not surprising). They should show actual screenshots of those messages.

17yo- autistic, depressed, goes on character.ai –

Texas mother sues AI chatbot for suggesting son should harm his family:

Playing this game…funny the sign in the game says this:

I don’t live in Oregon, but this is fucked up. And what is with 95% of the comments cheering this on??

All of us here think we’re all fucked up in the head- and yes, that’s true. But when I watch these documentaries and true crime stuff…I start thinking…maybe I’m not THAT fucked up after all…

I watched this like 1-2 nights ago. This is a TRUE story- she was arrested and this is actual police footage. So…apparently the husband watches child porn, and because she’s getting ignored by him, she has sex with their dog. Yes, dog. Yes, watch the video. No the video doesn’t obviously show the crazy acts.

I mean, I guess we’re not THAT fucked […]

will you pass a day without thinking of dying? i don’t think i will.

if i don’t keep this job i need to finally end this, i need to promise myself. there needs to be a solid deadline. i don’t think i can find better work than this, where i don’t feel like a complete outcastst. it’s so hard to hide how i feel, it’s written plainly on my face.

In this place where I live the people are close minded, cold, they don’t care about others too much and they think small. I have no one to talk to about anything except with my mother sometimes.

Loneliness, depression, lack of sleep, anxiety- basically everything we are or have…

I was trying to make a phonecall and watch the kids out the back garden simultaneously. I couldn’t get him to come down on his price,  ” hang on man” I said covering the phone and walking over to the back garden, ” keep the hose aimed low, you’re gonna put water over the wall on top of the neighbours, that’s it I’m knocking the water off” I said, the kids just laughed. There was a gaggle of giggling girls in the next door back garden. The youngest daughter it must have been and her friends , I think she was about 20, which is […]

I mean, yes, it’s much better to find your true love/partner or have real friendships. But sometimes, being alone keeps you alive. Watched this documentary today- there’s LOTS of documentaries like this where ppl are killed by their bfs/gfs, wives/husbands, family, etc. If you’re a loner, there’s less of that happening.

I mean yes, we do suffer from loneliness and depression, but it’s smarter NOT to get into a relationship with someone who is not good for you- the users/abusers/manipulators. And there are TONS of them out there, not just a “few bad apples” society wants you to think there […]

I don’t have a single family member or friend who gives a crap about my struggle with my suicidal thoughts or death talks. We don’t talk about it. I talked about them some times with some of my family but it did nothing, they don’t like it and don’t know how to help. When they gave advice trying to help, it sucked.

This 60s clip is HILARIOUS.
Maybe you’ll get a chuckle out of it like I did.

“Uh-oh, it saw me.” 😀

Just over 3 years ago I gave myself 1,157 days left to live. 1,157 days left to live or to try and see if things end up being worth it to continue on after those days. I gave myself plenty of time, I mean that is just over 3 years to see if this is all worth it. And when I made that decision back in 2022 I was in such a shitty and low place but also in a place of not wanting to hurt my family that I said fuck it i’ll suffer now for them as I always have. But if it […]

Visiting a place 400 miles away. Travel was a distraction, unfamiliar surroundings were a distraction, a few brief interactions with strangers were distractions, but as soon as things get quiet I’m back to hell. It follows you.

I can’t get a news story out of my head from years ago. It was about a girl who was depressed and went to a party. Everyone says she seemed to be having the time of her life, really happy and outgoing. She left the party early and killed herself. People were baffled.

I wasn’t. It makes total sense and it’s the feeling I’ve got right now. We’re constantly told […]

I worry about a lot of things.

I think about the future a lot.

I’m not handy like my dad is.

I can barely cook, my mom has to walk me through dishes.

I’m not good at cleaning, all things considered. My mom’s good at that.

I’m shit with vehicles in general. My parents and siblings are better with that.

I’m shit when it comes to relationships and women. Siblings are better when it comes to that, too.

I’m a tech guy, so I at least have that going for me, but I know I’m going to be that type in the future, where things get so far ahead of me, I’ll […]