For general topics related to the site.
I could really use some right now… I feel like shit and I know it won’t get better at least today. I want someone to talk to but at the same time I’d rather not burden anyone with my presence.
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I delay suicide because I’m afraid of the other side but deep down I know things will never be OK. Everything’s telling that I’ve long past my welcome… I’ve no money or friends and I’m financially dependent upon society and family to stay alive, everyone who’s known me thinks I’m a joke of a person, and i’m too damaged to function in society or ever be good at anything. I am either brain damaged or was born with an intellectual disability and I have no ability or personality to belong on this earth. I fooled myself into thinking I was getting better but I’ll always be […]
A scamming thief conned me out of $28000 in loans which have never been paid back and now I’m so broke, I can’t even pay for utilities or food. Then last week he even went and robbed my house of every single item of value, plus many, many items that are so sentimental and irreplaceable. This on top of the fact that I was barely surviving to begin with. He took away whatever fight that I had left to live. I’m done. I’m so stupid. He played on my sense of empathy and compassion and used, lied and scammed me until there was nothing left […]
No matter how much my human brain likes to think otherwise, I am completely and utterly alone.
Maybe no one cares, and i really wouldn’t blame you.
its not like i have some sad story, a problem people can pitty me with. no.. i have never seen some of the troubles alot of other people have.
but its not pitty that i want either. more of a understanding from the people around. an explanation for why i always wear long sleeves, even in 100 degree weather.
why i NEVER want to hang out, because i dont have the motivation, and would rather be in my room sleeping all day.
I want to tell my mom so bad, but every time i bring up the subjects she […]
Mirror, Mirror, what a boring day
and yet I have so much to say.
I do nothing but sit here alone in the dark,
maybe I’m waiting for someone to steal my heart?
Mirror, Mirror I’m so sick of you,
can’t you just show me something that isn’t true?
Beauty, perfection and smiles is all that’s in,
so that’s why I feel like my body is committing a sin.
Because I’m not beautiful, nor do I smile.
And I definitely don’t have any style.
At least that what they shout at me at school
and I understand, I’m not a fool.
But why does it has […]
Well, i was diagnosed with endogenous depression a couple months ago and i haven’t really been getting any better. Lately I’ve been struggling to eat; I feel like i’m going to puke at the thought of food, and having to force myself to eat makes me cry. I can’t handle more than a couple spoonfuls of food before I feel sick, and I just can’t understand why. Has anyone else ever gone through this?
my real name is Mark, but I prefer to be called Maciee. I came on here to find advice and possibly a way past this time.
it started when I was 7 or 8, wanting to be dressed up as a girl and to wear makeup, to be beautiful and comfortable in the pink and frills instead of the disgusting monster truck t-shirts and baseball caps. my mom died before i turned 5, but i know if she was still here she would have supported me now. i’m 12 years old, (soon to be 13 in a week counting today!). I live with my dad and […]
My birthday is tomorrow and I find myself researching ways to kill myself. I have felt suicidal since I was 7, yet I always convinced myself that tomorrow would be better. I have lived this lie for 19 years. I’m sick of it.
I tried to jump out of a moving car on Wednesday night. My fiance stopped me. When I thought about how horrible it would have been for him to see me like that, it made me feel so wretched.
I am an abuser. I abuse him like my parents abused me. I don’t hit him, but I hurt him with my existence. I am […]
If you don’t wish to talk to me anymore or have any means of communication with me, you could just tell me straight.
I don’t wish to be kept in the dark, even if the truth hurts…
There is no comfort in the truth anyway.
Another day, another reason to live.
Another way, another reason I give.
Today is my Mother’s birthday. It’s also another day where I have changed my mind about ending my life. All the wheels were set in motion, all of the plans were made. Then I was reminded of what today was. I worry about what my death will do to my mother on a normal day, but I can’t use her birthday. So today is just another failed attempt.
It was so peaceful this week, planning everything leading up to today. Now that I know I have to live on another day my world has come crashing […]
We just had a 6.0 earthquake-holy fuck!Very disturbing…whole house shook side to side for several seconds.VERY loud…..I dragged my kids out of bed.We are waiting for aftershocks….
I’ve been suffering pretty severe depression for roughly four and a half years now. Throughout this entire battle I’ve had with the snakes in my head, the demons in my personality, nothing has helped. I’ve been on different types of drugs, I’ve seen councilors, I’ve talked to friends and family in a search for hope and understanding – and I always end up back in this state of desperation. It’s reasonably well known that there are suicidal people who don’t actively want to die, they just want the pain to cease. The thing is, I actually want to die. I’ve had on and off feelings […]
today was a mix of things. I am a little drunk. I had a bunch of mimosas with a coworker. delicious. Today was meant to be a busy but powerful and productive day.
I went to my old apartment where I paid my rent till the end of the month to discover that my ex roommates went into my room and “cleaned up.” They threw away different pieces of cardboard and plastic bags that I had left there. I went back to clean up and pick up some things I’d left today. I was shocked especially because some of the materials I left there, I left […]
So its been nearly a year since I tried to kill myself. I did it at the end of last summer, swallowed three bottles of anti-depressants. I did it because I wanted to die, and I was outraged when I woke up still quite alive. However I became even more upset upon learning the level of my injuries. Apparently comitting suicide after leaving home with nowhere to go is a worse idea, particularly in northern Minneapolis. After overdosing and passing out, apparently somebody found me and proceeded to mug me, stealing my few valuables and kicking the shit out of my body.
Not […]
I can’t describe myself in 5 words. I’m too messed up. I seem like I have a good life. I don’t. I project it well. I guess I have had a lot of practice. I want so desperately to live and enjoy every second of life but I can’t. I feel like I’m in so much pain it no longer seems bearable.
Ill go back… I was a bad teenager. I did drugs was wild and had so much fun. I got in with a bad crowd and caused so much heartache for my family. I lived anywhere I could for a few years. I drank […]
This is my first post, i have been reading some other stories & feel very much connected to the feelings expressed…. Want to share my story…. I have seriously contemplated ending my life on many occassions… But i am also a procrastinator :)), so i am still here….
I have been poisoned… By mercury: in my teeth, from fillings…. From vaccinations…. In the womb, from my mother’s tooth fillings…. From eating fish… From people burning coal and polluting the air and water….
Mercury is the most powerful neurotoxin on earth… Mercury amalgam fillings were used in the nazi […]
Many people blame us for not letting them in.they blame us for us being alone.they say how are they suppose to know if we’re sad or happy or mad if we never open up.im tired of hearing it.to all you who dont understand.WE CANT.even if we wanted to.we wouldnt be able to.its not that easy dammit.instead of blaming us for us being alone.why cant they look deeper.if you look close enough…you’ll see so much more.pay attention and you’ll see our true feelings.look deeper and you’ll see…
something so beautiful and puzzling about the quickness in which ants die, when there’s just a bunch all swarming to a tiny bit of mountain dew that’s spilled on the counter, completely indulging in their desire. ants can’t really do much except mate and eat. human activities for ‘fun’ are just our creation… so, when ants give into their desires and slurp mountain dew and piss off humans, are they sinning, or what? do they even know they’re making people mad? or do they just think it’s a gift from above? do ants even think at all? does any thinking that humans do or anything […]