General

“When we, as clinicians, respect and honor confidentiality, our patients feel safer to explore their problems.”
“The Mental Health Act sets out several reasons that a person may be held as an involuntary patient. The two most common reasons are:

The person is a danger to themselves, another person, or may unintentionally injure themselves, or
The person’s condition is deteriorating and they require hospitalization.”

By having this Mental Health Act, doesn’t it collide with the confidentiality part?
I don’t understand how you can say that we feel safer to explore our problems but then force us to watch what we say. Yes, we are suicidal, that’s how it […]

As long as I stay busy at work I am doing okay. Even staying busy in the evening is good. It’s the weekend when I am drowning and the intrusive thoughts are coming.
“I don’t deserve to live.”

“I’m such a fucked to person.”

Some days I just want to wallow in my misery but there is no space for that. And can I just have some silence for a while?
Don’t think. Just don’t think. It will be fine if you stop thinking.

No matter how much a person pretends to be good and kind they will still have negative aspects

As soon as you read the title, this question probably popped in your mind. Why did this girl steal her father’s car? Well, luckily for whoever may be reading this you will find out. The short answer is that I stole it in order to kill myself. For the past week before the incident I was feeling really depressed. Not unusual but the depression was hitting pretty bad this time. I was very suicidal but actually didn’t think about taking his car until the night before so it was an impulsive decision. It was 7:30 AM when I started the ignition of the car and […]

I shouldn’t be alive , I shouldn’t be fucking alive. This is all fucking pointless. Just let me die already please. I’ve tried so many times that there has to be a reason for me still being here yet I get no fucking answer. I’m stressed the fuck out , exhausted and mentally drained. I don’t wanna do this anymore. It’s just not worth it anymore at this point.

“You didnt notice, whats it matter?” Exactly that is what matters. The fact that you think you can get away with something just because i didnt notice. And the fact that that was just a lie, doesnt help.

You were protecting my ego?? Please, if i have an ego at all, it because of you. And you should have been more concerned about my trust issues, because i trusted nothing and questioned everything before. Idk if you can have a negative but id there can be a negative in this situation, you found it.

I had a nightmare. I had agreed and you had said you “knew […]

you say im not “too needy” but you just dont know. i mean how the fuck does someone say “pay more attention to me” without it coming off wrong.
i asked you to at least react, why havent you?
why do i even bother talking to you if youre not going to talk back?

i dont want any friends…. go away

I dont need some fucking asshole telling me about my emotions. Last i checked youre not me, how the fuck do you know who i hate and who i dont. Even better who the fuck are you to dictate who i hate and who i dont. I fucking hate people that try to tell me shit about myself. Just fuck off. Youre not me. And im positive if i tried to dictate your life that youd get pissed off at me so dont fucking dictate mine. Ill hate who i fucking want and youre on that list.

I’m stuck

I believe I’ve become the absolute worst version of myself that I could ever become.  Without extremes but your worst normal.

And it’s not my fault. I’ve done everything to prevent it from happening but here I am.

Oh well. It’s not like it matters, does it?

i’m trying to write a personal statement to get into uni and i ask my dad for help. biggest fucking mistake ever. i was finding it hard to come up with the bullshit you’re meant to write on these things, like what i’m proud of, what interests me and all that crap. my dad ends up shouting at me telling me to write what i like, what’s interesting about me, BUT I DON’T LIKE ANYTHING.  FUCK. ended up just walking away cause how the fuck can you expect someone with clinical depression to have a river of interesting facts about them and things they like […]

To start with… Extreme emotions. To me, it’s like no one else has emotions. Everyone’s so… Blah or meh about stuff. It makes sharing or talking difficult because I’m not getting the same energy in return so it feels like they don’t care. Even telling myself “it’s ok they do like it they just aren’t like you” doesn’t help much.

Then there’s the needy thing like I mentioned in another post. you haven’t messaged back. Why haven’t you messaged back yet!? And it doesn’t matter it’s only been a minute. They’re probably doing something, chill. But BPD doesnt care. It never cares. You can speak all the logic you want, […]

I don’t know how to open up. I’m not good at it, And its the reason I have not tried to get help again or reach out to those who care so I could have someone to talk to. The last time I saw a therapist I was about 19, had just dropped out of college, and I was in the worst shape (mentally) in my life. The only reason I managed to get into therapy was because I went to the doctor for my lack of sleep where they diagnosed me with insomnia and MDD and set me up with a therapist. Even then […]

Jesus Christ just a week ago I tried to off myself and now I got a new job. I thought this job would be fun and give me a reason or hope to keep living but it’s more or less of the same. It’s fucking exhausting and my anxiety level is at an eleven. I’m scared and weak and afraid I can’t do this and I should give up and just die. I’m wasting my youth, I have no idea where I’m heading in life and I’m a failure. I have a good soul and try so hard to be a good person but it’s […]

the beginning of august last yea,r i had a suicide attempt, i had the gun in the fleshy part of my jaw beneath my head, andi pulled the trigger to just realize the safety was on. ive had 2 or 3 attempts but ive been feeling a fourth coming on, i missed a halloween party last night, i know how silly it sounds to be here for a hallowen party but there is constnatly shitty things going on, i missed the party becase of shitty planning with my friend and her friends. one of which had no way to contact either of us, i messaged […]