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Hey i wanted to thank you guys who were supporting me on this site. i was wondering if anyone wanted to tal my email is conduit28@gmail.com . could really talk to someone now
It has no title cause I can’t think of one. Here it is.
I tried to figure out
Why my heart is full of doubt
Once I felt love, then I was betrayed
Felt life crumble, and begin to fade
Paranoid, my mind filled with lies
who I am I began to despise
so I took myself and I hurled
my heart to the ground, and shattered my world
I became nothing, no love, no pain
Just held razor blades to my vein
I cut deeper and deeper, just to feel
till pain and pleasure became real
but got carried away, and cut too deep
at last my friends, I can sleep
Butterfree with it’s mysterious draining power.
Orchestrating the air, so beautifully. All it’s glands now on you.
Use ‘sleeping-powder’, fumigate then coordinate the air with your wings, swiftly and startlingly.
Use your ‘agility’ to evade. ‘Triple Iron-Wing’ attack.
A surprise ‘thunder-shock’ if you ever get too close.
Use ‘fly’! Agility! Charge for an ‘Iron-Wing’ attack!
What are you going to do!! You’re already asleep.
Uses ‘mega-drain’ and drains all your energy.
Get ready for an ‘iron-wing’ when you wake up.
I don’t particularly like to sleep. Slept 7 hours last night, better than most nights. Guess I’m happy about that but my body is achey and tired and i want to stay in bed forever. Getting out of bed is the hardest thing in the world lately. just a few weeks of not getting up on time, not starting my day. My therapist tells me to be proud of myself for getting to work at all. I want to be, I do.
I don’t know what I want. Life doesn’t really seem to have a point. The last few years I’ve been operating on the idea […]
It’s been three months since you left me, I lost all my friends as we shared the same friends, yet worst of all I lost my best friend – you. I had to find my house, out alone in the cold without you. All my friends left me, they couldn’t bear the tension between us, my friends lived with us, none of them have contacted me. Every night I have nightmares about you. The last time I slept safe and sound was when I was in your arms. How could you have taken everything away from me? Don’t tell me this is a first world […]
I’m from SoCal, if you’re from around.
Trying to get a place in NM. Hit me up.
You just need money for food.
ASAP
Un, deux, trois. Morlock. I am a rock, not a gold one, but my blood is. Of toxic hell.
Where. Seeking the nature and land, the base, the refuge, for the sanctum. Eight bills a month. Perhaps we can salvage the Lexus RX and get me a new ride, or something. Seeking the healing party house out in the rural. For the Butterfly empire, transmogrify into our dreams, conquer our wings. Behind the Thirteenth Gate. The saga of the Sacred-Clown, and the Mages.
“Butterfree! Use ‘Iron-Wing’ attack!”
Man, I love Pokémon. Travel by air with my strong Butterfree.
Standing on my feet, hanged by a rope […]
things to do before you commit suicide
1. Convince your parents that you decided to suicide
2. Get legal approval
3. Arrange a farewell
Hey I seriously am having a really really bad couple of days. My boyfriend and I have been together off and on for a little over a year and a half. We have been having problems and some people take my side and some take his, but I’m not really trying to figure any of that out. I am bringing it up only for yall to see where this is all coming from. My boyfriend was treating me like an object and when I would try to go somewhere one night when I was upset then he held me down on the bed and wouldn’t […]
In 11th grade, everything began to fall apart. I lost all motivation in everything. I had to accept the reality that I would be graduating high school, and many of my friends would be gone from my life. I stopped studying because I didn’t see a point. I had realised that I was completely alone and helpless in life. My friends wouldn’t be with me forever. They could never fully understand me. I began to wonder why I was living. Emotions were something that were very important to me, but I realised that to the universe, they are meaningless. I could fall in love with […]
I feel utterly useless. In my daily life to even on SP. When ever I finally think I can do something, I try my best at it. I work as hard as possible, thinking “This might be the day where I can finally do something right for once!” I brim with the confidence that only appears every other blue moon (If I’m lucky). Only to be destroyed. I end up worse than I was before, getting closer and closer to my limit everytime. I don’t know how much longer I can last. My fuck-ups are only a single percent of my problems, but it hits me […]
I can’t get help, and it’s going to kill me.
Being transgender, a lot of my normal life, when I’m not suicidal, depends on my ability to get medical treatment- much of which involves therapists asking me, time and time again, if I’ve had any intentions of hurting myself in recent times. I really need to talk about it. I want to get help. But I know that if I say anything, I could end up far more depressed, and being denied treatment I desperately need.
I am kind of in a constant state of being suicidal- it never really goes away. I can be at my […]
“I love you with all of my heart and soul”
“We are always going to be together forever”
“You are my soul mate, my one and only, my true love”
“I never want to be without you, I can’t even imagine my life without you”
“I want to make you proud of me”
“I want to do what’s right”
“Please don’t leave me, I’m trying..really I am”
“You’ve always been my better half”
“Sometimes things are just meant to be”
“You always know what to say”
“I’m sorry I’m so closed off”
“You make me so happy, I don’t have words to explain”
“I need […]
“God, did you see Susan today? I swear, that woman should get a clue when it comes to makeup.”
“Lol, u kno she ratchet asf. Dat ***** is FUGLY.”
“I’m tired of seeing all these homo-faggots around here. It’s a sickness, I tell you.”
“She wears black all the time, doesn’t talk to anyone, and looks like a *****. I bet she’s a satan-worshipper.”
“Look at how fat he is! And that face…..disgusting. I’ll get him Proactiv for his birthday.”
“Those damn rag-heads in the Mid-West worshipping Muhammad. God’ll take care of them.”
“Non-believers are so stupid.”
How do these statements make you feel? For anyone reading, you probably recalled a time […]
Everything is getting so messed up. I’m just…. I feel unwell and sick and nervous and unsettled and unhappy and I can’t call anyone because no one is answering their phone and I feel lonely and I don’t feel good. :'(
I just said I could work an extra night next week, but on those nights I see my psychologist and I don’t like it when things don’t go in routine. My little girl side of me doesn’t like it and it’s upsetting. I usually get my mum to console me or make my decision for me she’s not answering her phones. She tells me “Call […]
First of all sorry but i have wrote a lot, i have poured as much as i can say into this and feel completely lost and don’t know where to turn. I don’t want to burden anyone else with my problems but i just have no dea what to do.
I’m pretty much back to square one. I’ m no better than the 16 year old me who left school and had nothing to show for it.
I was diagnosed with manic depression at the age of 16 (although they were plenty of signs that i had this throughout my childhood) […]
Well, the way I see it, at this point in my life the depression has the biggest chance of winning… But I’ll be damned if I’ll sit by and let it take me down without a fight.
I know my chances of surviving until the next year are very slim. I’ve accepted that. Death does not haunt me, but neither does it call my name as intently as it did several days ago.
After reading over everyone’s encouragement and advice, I’ve made up my mind. I can either succumb to the darkness right now or I can try as hard as I can to escape it. Granted, […]
As a depressed person, I always hear “Stay strong, God will help you.” or “God had better plans for you.” and a whole lot of other shit. Neither me nor my friends believe in God. Why would we? If God is so great, why would he let us suffer like this? Why would he let some people take their own life? Why would he put us through Hell? I’m a much firmer believer of The Devil than I am of God. If God really existed, he wouldn’t make us stop believing in him. Get your shit together! Open your eyes! God. Is. Not. Real!
So, I’ve never used a site like this… I don’t know if this post will even publish, knowing my luck it won’t and I’ll have got all anxious for nothing. Okay, maybe I should start with the suicide story?
I don’t know what has led to me becoming depressed (or, as my psychiatric nurse calls it “in low mood, because depressed is such a negative word”) I’ve never suffered any traumatic experiences and I didn’t have a bad childhood. I can’t even pin point the first time I ever felt so low. I can tell you though that each time I hit a low point, it […]
I have taken my anxiety med, I am drinking a beer and watching True Blood. Trying not to give in to my compulsion to make nice with my ex. I am embarassed by my behavior. I need to sort myself out. I guess I relied on him as a way to get out of my head for a bit.