My life is upside down.

It’s been three months since you left me, I lost all my friends as we shared the same friends, yet worst of all I lost my best friend – you. I had to find my house, out alone in the cold without you. All my friends left me, they couldn’t bear the tension between us, my friends lived with us, none of them have contacted me. Every night I have nightmares about you. The last time I slept safe and sound was when I was in your arms. How could you have taken everything away from me? Don’t tell me this is a first world problem, I got ditched by the love of my life, my friends ditched me too, my family ditched me. We came from two different cultures, I am asian, you are white. I left my parents to be with you, I went against everything. Yes my parents are still there but everyone else has branded me as an outcast, they all hate me. All my aunts call me names, ‘whore’, to them I am satan for loosing my virginity. They all hate me. They don’t allow me near their children because I am supposedly a bad influence. I got no-one. Everyone hates me. What have I done so wrong? All I did was love you and you took everything from me. You were so lucky, everyone had told me I could do better than you, you were lucky you had me. I swooped down low for you. My mum is dying and I can’t be sad because I am too hooked up on you. All I think of is you, not my mum. I was so good to you, I left everything behind for you, yet all you did was leave me. I have been smoking lots from the stress. I never smoked until you left me. Now I have lung disease. People should stop telling me to hang on… I have hung on for 3 months and there has been no progress. I lost my job because I was so depressed. You don’t give two shits about me, yet I am madly in love with you. It hurts to see you treating me like nothing when you are still my special guy. Why should I carry on? I’ve got nothing left.