General

I have or had a best friend. And he was there for me through everything.Literally everything we’d talk daily for a year and a month straight. In april he developed feelings for me, and at first i didnt believe he loved me and then i did. Hes not the player type or anything. Well beautiful things were said hes the damn friend ive ever had. And i feel in love and he just lost feelings for me. Point is we’re just friends now well best friends and i feel like im loosing him and  i cant loose him because hes the only real friend i […]

I know what it’s like to want nothing more than to disappear. I know what it’s like to constantly think about death. I know what it’s like to constantly think of how easy it would be just to leave this life for good. I know what it’s like to feel so numb and empty that the only way to feel anything at all is to drag a blade across your skin. I know what it’s like to switch off the lights at night only to have your mind filled with the dark thoughts you’ve been avoiding all day. I know what it’s like to avoid […]

I really keep on thinking of suicide when am really angry inside ,i have realised in this world people will never give back what you have sacrificed for them ,they will carry on hurting you each and every day as long as to them they are enjoying hurting you and being an introvert makes everything worse because avoiding confrontation is in your nature hence the pain and stress builds that it becames health risk ,depression,hypertension that leads to heart diseases and stroke,i had so many dreams in my life but they are all fading fast am in early thirties but challenges in life are so […]

Some people don’t know this and need to know this!

When people have responded to my posts on this site I have received their email address that they used when they registered on this site and this email also contained their IP address!

This is not cool and people need to know this! Your email address and IP address is being spread by this WordPress site to people who you don’t know!

There is an icon in the top left corner that resembles a comic book speech bubble. By clicking on this you can see information about people’s email addresses if they are posting to your feed! This […]

its all getting worse again. all the emotions and thoughts that i hoped i would never have to face again are all rushing back and i dont think i will can be able to getr throught it this time. nothing i do is ever good enough and nothing i do is ever worth it. ive decided just to try and give up.

not give up on life just yet, just give up on trying.

i dont see the point so i will go to school but i will fail. i will talk to people, but i wont be interesting.

it wont really make alot of difference, but yea. […]

I hear many say that, but these are often the same ones that enjoy parties and crowded bars. They choose to throw themselves into large infestations of humans. No, I hate people. I don’t hate individuals, at least not each one by default, but rather people as a whole. I have a deep loathing for our species. Not only because of what we do, but because of what we are. Apes with big brains and bigger egos, meandering around and chasing after all our meaningless goals; trying to satisfy all our pathetic little delusions. Filthy mammals with unnecessary complexity. We are disgusting bodies, covered with sweat, bacteria and dead skin, and filled with mush and […]

One last try before I let it go I guess. I’m going to take a trip in August. Colorado to the Canadian border. I have a nice pack and backcountry skills. I’ll hitch hike north and try to reconnect with life. I don’t know if I have any real friends left and my family is nonexistent. I want this world to show me that it is still alive. I can’t go on if my regular life is all there is. Hopefully I come back here someday.

Lover is far away, not sure if she is here to stay.

Work is far from reach, but who am I to preach?

Constant exhaustion, no motivation.

Lonesome, a nobody, within this twisted nation.

Surrounded by “family,” with no liberty.

Bound by these deathly notions, that continues to consume me.

I Run Away From Home 3 weeks Ago Cuz My Mom And Dad They Called Me Stupid cuz I have Cut My Self And It Was NOt Nice so i Run Away And My Sister Cought Me And So i was i Sad And I Ben Talking to This Guy That Ben Helping me and that does not help me that much 🙁 And I want It To Stop Now I Cant TAke It