General

I refuse to go another day. I’m done twisting my back 7-to-5 every day to still end up little better than broke. My damn boss won’t even pay for Memorial Day. I was not allowed to work that day, but my contract doesn’t make them pay me for the forced time out. Why can’t he see that wasting my time like that truly hurts me? He knows I’m on my own.

This is my youth, my life. I’m going to give a dead-end job all my time and strength, and then I’ll be an old, burnt out man with wrecked joints. I can’t afford to start […]

What’s the point anymore? I’ve cried every night nonstop for the past week. My family think I’m a failure. So what the hell?
Maybe I should just fucking quit.

I was always bullied, they made me feel so unwanted, so worthless. Everyday I would Ty to act as though everything was fine and I would put a fake plastic smile to try to be normal, only to cry my eyes out when my parent weren’t home. I was drowning and had nowhere to go. One day I finally snapped. I went home and swallowed a handful of pills. If I’d didn’t throw up the glob before passing out I would have died. Years later, i would like think I am better but I am not. The bullying has started up again and my friends […]

i would have never thought that my own father would put his soon to be wife and soon to be step kids before his own daughter.

i also would have never thought that my own father would tell me to drop dead.

im pretty sure tonight is the night where i end it all. im not loved, im not cared for and i honestly think im a waste of a person. im done with everything and everyone. i really cant deal with the hurting anymore.  ive been hurting for way to long.

please dont tell me that it will get better, because it hasnt and it wont.

im gone.

I guess your supposed to reach road blocks in your life. I just didn’t know there would be this many.. I just.. I dont know what to do anymore. I am a rape victim. I was raped by someone I loved with all my heart. Since that day I have hated myself, and its only getting worse. I cant sleep without nightmares. I cant go out in public without the fear of seeing him. Many people ask if I ended up pregnant… Yes, I did. But my baby girl didnt make it. Every single day I get 6-8 flashbacks which cause me to break down […]

Today I saw a tomato off my husbands tomato vine. It looked half rotten with cracks so I picked it and cut off the rot and ate the rest. My husband proceeded to tell me how selfish I am and I should have gave him some and he looked me straight in the eyes and said your the worst wife ever! You don’t do shit and your so selfish. Your such a bad wife your like a anti wife. What have you done for me? Your awful and your the worst wife in the world! All over a rotten tomato.needless to say I’m feeling pretty […]

as this day passes by ive been thinking on how im going to do it, seems like im gonna take a bunch of pills and go hang myself.. not sure wether I want to go drink with “friends” one last time before I leave my house for the last time around 3 am or not.. wish they didn’t take my gun and that a giant fall wouldn’t mangle my body

Today was the first day in a while that I felt happy. I think that’s a good sign. I feel better. I don’t feel the need to harm myself. I like this feeling.

she calld me… amasing when i know its not true but i whant it to be true

“self”
skin parting blood
boling steel gleeming …
tears flowing
seed of self destruchion
ever sowing
love of your self never lifting
all way spining out of controle
out of proporsion
never stoping
all ways been there
never seen the truth
of it the dry blood craking
the wet staning
what a lovely day

There’s only a small number of things that make us feel completely attached to the world around us,
So much time convincing myself that the people around me will be better without me,
A lot can happen If you stand on the shoulders of greatness,
Everything that encompasses the opposite of greatness, my shoulders are not worth standing on,
Lost in this, but found perhaps by accepting that now I can be free,
The only way to stop my mind, is to turn it off.

Everyone I come accross is affected somehow, and it’s never a positive, it may feel like it to start,
There’s poison […]

Her gaze travels down to my arms. The pain is clearly seen in her eyes, I can tell she has noticed the cuts, the scars, and the burn marks. “Why do you have to leave?” she says, tears forming quickly in her eyes. She turns away from me. Hiding her face, and her tears. I grab her hand and she slowly turns to look at me. “Please don’t cry.” I say softly. She releases her hand from mine and stands. “You’re selfish. Just leaving everyone who cares behind in the dust, while you go ahead and die!” She screams, pain peircing every word. “Please, forgive […]

Things have gotten worse, all I can think about is you and your new life and how i’m not a part of it and never will be ever again, I am heartbroken, so heartbroken, I wish we could be friends and talk but I’d just ruin everything for you, I want you to be happy but at the same time it kills me knowing that you’re probably the happiest you’ve ever been and it’s without me.

You have no idea how much I’m missing you, and you never will, I bet you don’t miss me at all, i wouldn’t blame you. The pain wont go away, […]