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I sleep at any chance i get because I hate being aware of my thoughts that taunt me. When I’m sleeping I can’t hear them.. I would much rather be asleep than awake in this horrible world
    I’m scared. I have a new boyfriend who is exactly the perfect guy of my dreams, but I’m scared of getting close with him. I’m to scared to really open up to him, he knows about my past of burning but he said that he figured it was something he didn’t need to mess with so he didn’t, I have been feeling the same worthless, useless, empty pain inside lately and I want to mention it to him but, hes so reserved I don’t want to scare him away. Usually I would talk to my friends but they have their own problems […]
I feel as if im trapped in a body, that I can’t escape. I feel like I’m a failure for an unsuccessful suicide attempt. I always look back on that day and wish It worked, I cross roads without fully looking in hope ill get hit. I’m sick of putting on a happy front when I’m a mess inside. Mental illness is such cruel thing to happen to someone, and even though I hate it somehow I delve in it and some part of me wants to suffer, and I can’t understand why. I managed to keep on top of my illness for a steady […]
My baby it never be same again..
I Don’t wanna love you again..
I am feeling all alone…
I don’t wanna cry..
I don’t wanna die..
I used to be so happy especially at school I don’t really get bullied and this year im in year 6 and I really found my true friends I was happiest at school and going to school. I’ve liked loads of guys nothing big just like fake crushes but then I really like this guy called Christian and then there was this little rumour that he like this girl in his class coz he is a year younger but the classes are really close and from what he’s said he doesn’t. but still doesn’t stop my heart from hurting and at home for the last […]
Im not gonna try to post something extremely witty and dark and intellectual and poetic.. i just cant sleep again and im hoping that posting this will clear my mind and i could get some advice from people who possibly feel the same way as me. I could list every terrible thing thats ever happened to me and all the times ive tried to kill myself and all the addictions ive had but thatd take too long and im tired and lazy. So basically, im depressed, im bipolar, im insecure, im lonely, and i feel like nobody cares about me apart from my immediate family. […]
I hate it every second of the day. I hate beeing a human. I hate everything about this civilization.
My heart cries every day, when i see all the slaughter of animals.. when i see all the killing, i hate people. We are the most evil creatures in this world. We will and we are ruin everything beautifull.
i’m sick and tired of watching this. is like i don’t belong in this world i dont belong anywhere. and anyone.
I hate it. I hate my life and everythig i do and i’we done its pointless.. nothing changes.. Only thing i love in this shitbag world are animals and […]
what the hell is the point of life?
what the hell am i living for?
what the hell is my problem?
what the hell is the reason for all my issues?
what the hell is wrong with life??
I’m really tired of fighting. Â I’ve been doing it so long – fighting physical issues, fighting mental issues – and I’m just so tired. Â I’ve tried my best, but things just keep getting worse, and I can’t see any way out of where I am. Â Everything is darkness, and the last of the light is disappearing.
I’m so afraid and so desperate that I keep reaching out to my best friend, but it all keeps going wrong. Â Somehow I end up being angry with him. Â I don’t mean to be, I just can’t seem to help it. Â Each time it happens he pulls a little […]
And I have no idea why I’m posting it here but, I am. I’m exhausted. The only true smile that has come to my face in the past few years was just before my attempt several weeks ago – the rest of the time it has been this forced curvature which, I must say, I’ve become quite the expert at creating. The sadness. The consistent failures. The burden I’ve been to so many for so long. Iit’s just so tiring.
For almost 30 days I’ve had no contact with anyone in my personal life save three individuals one being my “brother” who lives quite literally thousands […]
Tired of this life, and all that is. One simple thing, a single wish. Dreamt of blood, a thousand screams. Every night, these are my dreams. One simple thing, my only wish. Knife in hand, I cannot miss. But I shan’t, commit this sin. She’ll hold me back, again and again. The one and only…. Sorry.. Hope this didn’t bore or waste any your time of you happened to read this. Goodnight. I love you all.
They never have . I’m stupid to think they every did.
tired of everything
Living is such a tiresome process
I miss him so much. I want my best friend back. I want to hug him and tell him just how much he means to me. I just want to see him again. I want so badly to see his bright blue eyes and blonde hair.
But I can’t.
He’s dead.
He would be ashamed of me. Drugs, alcohol, cutting, and my bitter attitude. Not much to be proud of.
There’s a part of me, though that thinks that he would be proud of me. I’ve been to hell and back, with both physical and emotional damages, but I’m still breathing. I can walk into a room and act […]
You know, there’s something about depression that gets me… the way you are suddenly unable to see things clearly. It makes you ask why everyone stopped caring, and I wish I was told this when I was extremely depressed. Then again, that may have been the reason I learned it for myself…
Those people who you thought cared, and then abandoned you? It’s quite possible they actually did care, at least in the beginning. They saw something in you, and just because they chose to stop seeing it, doesn’t mean it’s not there anymore. It was there for them to see, and even if it’s not […]
People try to put us d-down
Just because we get around
http://youtu.be/uswXI4fDYrM
Things they do look awful c-c-cold
I hope I die before I get old
The Universe told me not to go to the park that day.
As I pulled into your driveway, my phone buzzed.
You were calling me. Why?
“Scide is going to kill me. Scide is going to kill me.”
Your voice is gurgled and muffled by your tears.
I burst in and your ‘girlfriend’ isn’t there.
You’ve locked yourself in your room.
Open the door. She knows about everything and it’s all my fault and now she’s gone. Open the door, Scide. I deserve to be punished. Open the fucking door. Go away. If you hurt yourself, I’ll go away, too.
You become silent, this entity […]
I have been a drug addict since I was 15. Â Ive had periods of sobriety the longest being four years however I am once again in active addiction. Â I am a failure in every sense of the word and all I want is to die. Â I have tried several times and just like everything else I try to do in my miserable life I failed. Â I am emotionally and spiritually dead already and have been for most of my life. Â Im 30 years old unemployed and live with my parents. Â Three years ago I owned a home with my beautiful fiance. Â I had all the […]
My boyfriend and I have had a relationship for 9 years. It has had it’s wonderful moments.. but it has had many bad ones too. I get so angry with him for his lack of care and concern. I’ve thrown him out recently and now I feel as though my entire world is gone. I have no desire to even want to wake up! EVER AGAIN! All i have ever wanted was his love. I’ve had people tell me he loves me. I’ve heard hims say it. But I have not felt it in such a very long time. […]
I talked a lot because I was lonely.
So lonely that I talked to walls. I yelled at windows. I cursed the floor.
I was an only child, and it was all I had to offer.
I was afraid to not talk because it would just make me so much more alone than I already was.
That was how I learned to adapt to my life, my surroundings.
I would talk to myself all the time and make myself laugh at stupid jokes that weren’t even funny.
It was pathetic.
I am pathetic.