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I just want to destroy something “beautiful”
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I hate careers. I hate dead-end jobs. I hate money. I hate corporations. I hate the government. I hate having to buy things in order to exist. I hate having my time delegated to being productive so that someone else can profit from my labor. I hate paperwork. I hate commercials and advertisements. I hate that creative people get sucked into marketing for corporate interests rather than producing their own art. I hate lobbyists. I hate insurance. I hate predictability (except that I might hate all of the things listed here – that kind of predictability is OK with me). I hate the commodification of […]
I have searched and found every registered sex offender in my area and like to write their name etc on the street they live on so others are aware and they live there. I never touch the property and do it at 3am at night. My daughter who is 23 got raped the same week I did but she is still suffering horribly. I know this isn’t directly related to suicide but maybe the pain we suffer that makes us feel self hatred and want to die can be fought back against. What others do to us deserves justice, not for us to hurt ourselves […]
im having a hard time, i hate my self already… is it bad now that i hate my self even more cause i think its my fault that my very first love cheated on me…and no im paranoid and i think hes still cheating on me…i feel worthless…i feel like im nothing…im never gonna be good enough for anyone so whats the point…idk…anyone out there who can help….im just so ugly…inside and out…..idk i just idk what i need….i’ll take advice i just need help…i want this stress, anger, depression, sadness, i want it all to go away and i will do anything to get […]
Mindless pointless contemplation has brought me to the sudden realization that existence alone is meaningless. It lacks purpose. To merely exist gives you no meaning, no purpose, no rights. All is for nothing. And just to clarify I’m not saying life in itself is meaningless or purposeless. As being humans the believed higher evolved species we our self give our life meaning and purpose. To merely be born doesn’t give us that. All we have achieved at that point is the chance to live. As I have heard: being alive does not mean you have lived. And I believe that is true, to go about […]
Is your joke still funny when you see my scars?
Is your joke still funny when you see my tears?
When you see me wish for death?
when you see me in so much pain?
Is it still funny when all i think about is ways of dying?
When i wanna just kill myself?
when you know it was all your fault?
when you know that you pushed me over that line?
That it was your fault i cut out my veins?
when it was your fault i overdosed?
when you know it was your fault i put that rope over my neck?
Is your joke still funny when you see me basically dead but still […]
I am scared. Â My boyfriend is suffering on account of my everyday depressive state. Â I love him but I am afraid that one day it will be too much for him to handle. Â He says he won’t leave me, but it’s easier said than done. Â He is the best thing that’s ever happened to me , but right now I just feel blank, I can’t express my love.
So I’ve been alive for sixteen short years, some say its barely long enough to think I know what pain is. But you see, I do know what it is. Because pain is the descent of hate; which I am very familiar with. I don’t have the hardest life, but it is not easy. I’m still growing up, in a family who doesn’t like me; a town who knows my name. But for all the wrong reasons, I’ve been pushed around all my life, put down; and kicked while I was on the ground. I started cutting in fifth grade, came out to some friends […]
It’s all a bunch of meaningless suffering. Â Please let me die in my sleep.
Yeah, I’m sick of being judged, judged wrongly all the time. I feel like every little thing I say gets people moving this way or the other. Its pretty shite if you can’t be honest in life and lets face it, the truth is sometimes a bad truth. Is it best to go through life lieing with a front up? I think in some ways it probably is. I’m sick of looking for gold in a land of shit, but the truth is I’m just not particulaly content with my lot in this world of darkness. I look out the window, I walk down the street and I […]
I cant sleep just too many thoughts going threw my mind like ” does he feel the same about me ” “why do I even think I have a chance” “whats the point anymore” . people don’t understand that the littlest things will make me upset. I want to sleep again, but tow hours a night isn’t enough. Thoughts of killing my self goes threw my head every night almost.. but then I think too myself when im dead ill still be judged and people will talk about me even more about ” the girl who killed her self”. if I ever did I think […]
I am 39 years old I have thought about suicide since I was 6 years old. My life has always been so difficult. I had one person that kept me alive and that is my dad. I didn’t want to disappoint him. Now I live for my son but my life is imploding and I just think about dying more and more. It makes me sad to think of leaving my son but its just too much. I feel broken, bullied, abused, abandoned and alone. Today my husband let me know that I am a failure, an idiot, a fat fuck, a loser and a […]
people just think im so strong, and never do anything wrong…well there WRONG!!! im so weak and cant even keep my control not to cut when I have an urge. obviously no one knows im sitting here with the blades right in front of me. expecting that at any moment I will give in and the pain will start. I need it soooo bad. you guys on here get it, I feel like no one else does. well heres the time… here I go.
My life was great up until 6th grade girls became attractive, any guy who went near my crush became Satan. I was this super overweight, annoying gay guy with no life. Ok guys, sorry to rain on your parade asshole, but I’m straight, blah blah blah, suicide attempt after suicide attempt, failing everytime.
Moving on to 7th grade, my crush sort of became my obsession. She was amazing, and then she rejected me, enter my new friend, cutting. Then my crush became my hatred. Then my crush again. Then I gave up, and started taking interest in a new girl, she was beautiful, with her […]
always yelling always talking about me like I’m not there. My dad died when i was eight he was the only one of a family of six that i loved. Once he went suicidal and left me all alone i don’t know what to do. My mom has become a different person and is always complaining about everything i do. She does not understand that i try to do everything I can do right. I make good grades I try to be happy and i give advice to others. Sometimes when i ask for advice or when i need comfort. Nobody is there to give […]
I need some strong, over the counter sleeping meds of some kind. Ones that won’t necessarily kill me when I overdose, just strong enough to suppress my body while the exit bag does it’s work. Any suggestions? Please comment…
So I was at my father house planning on making breakfast when 3 police officers came in and said basically you can either come voluntary or were going to force you. I didn’t run cause I would it would be a criminal charge and I would go to jail and then maybe prison for some bs cause I’m on probation. So I said I’d go voluntarily so here I am I the ER chillin. I’m glad I have insurance cause no doubt they are going to bill me. The psych -some Jewish guy named Ira- came in after a few hours and talked to me. […]
In short. I don’t want my son to grow up with a pathetic person I am now.
First let me star off by saying that I am not planning on committing suicide right now. I just do not want to get to that point. I do not know how to express what I am feeling, but I will try to the best of my ability to describe it. I just feel lost, I do not want to do anything anymore. I do not want to move anymore, but I do not want to stay still. I want to live, but I do not want to keep trying to endure this suffering. I have a good family and great friends, just my views […]
This is the first time I post something on here but I feel like I’m finally ready to do something like this. For this first post I think I’m just gonna tell my story, I need to get it off my chest.
On the 30 of September 17 years ago my brother was born. And 2 years later on his birthday, I was born. We always shared our birthday and it was something really special. Me and my brother were always close, like few brothers and sisters are. Besides being my brother, he was also my best friend.
But it all ended on the 25 […]