For general topics related to the site.
There’s nothing to do, There’s nothing to say
Just lay down and go slowly away
All of my dreams, All of my fears
None of it matters, none of its real
Soon this will be over
Soon there will be no more reason to cry
Soon this will be over
Soon there will be a reason to cry
I wasn’t born this way
I never wanted to hate
They turned me into this
Now its too late
Today I went to a farm and got some milk and visited the baby cows. (Oh my god, I sound like I’m 5) I really did, isn’t that sad? I talked to the baby cows and they were so cute and I actually felt they accepted me. I’m sure they looked at me in an accepting way. It’s the most social I’ve been in awhile. There was a rooster too, but I didn’t talk to him. They had this tea called kumbuchu? And it’s almost like hard cider , it’s kind of giving me a buzz. That was all after I’d gotten lost for an […]
my mom is always yelling at me , acting like im stupid ,and that i dont ever know what im talking about . and when i try to talk to her or make a conversation all she does is ignore me . she talks about me to her friends , and my family , and not in good ways . i havent cut or done anything to harm myself . but i dont want it to happen , so i wanna get this out . i hate my life . i live with my mom and step dad , he has money , and thats […]
i get it, i may not be cool and sophisticated like everyone else. that is very plain and clear to see. but that doesnt give you all the right to ignore me or treat me like im invisible i mean seriously WTF happen???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????!
I don’t know what to think anymore. I’m so uncertain of everything. My mind is playing tricks on me. I have no idea what’s going on in my mind. Depression has taken over every part of my life. It’s taken over my thoughts, emotions, and actions. I feel like I’ve fallen off the right track. I feel like I have no control over my own life. I just don’t understand. Why did this happen? Does it even matter? If I get better am I just going to fall back down and feel as miserable as I do now?
I wish I wasn’t born. I wish […]
I’m dying inside. I hate being so fucking angry at the littlest things. Tomorrow, I’m gonna make things right. That way, if I leave, I die right.
do you go to hell if you commit suicide? What does the bible say about it? What is your opinion about it?
I hate everyone. I wish everyone would just die. Everyone talking and laughing when im just the lonely one sitting in the corner not even worrying about me. I just hate group works. it leaves me along and everyone continues to talk. all their voices banging in my heads. i want everyone to shut up.
I’m losing it. I can’t go on. I once thought I was strong. I once was able to help people, some very simular in my situation. I once thought that I had a life to live and a life to give. No more. Suicide is a daily hell I have to face. Depression from 17 years of shit and depression and bullying and attacks. I’ve gone too far. I thought I could make it. I need help. I have lost all hope to go on, all hope to live. I am a author, a carpenter, an artist, an engineer, an interior designer, programer, computer technician, and […]
I feel so fucking alone
when there are too many happy people around me i feel like i don’t belong
beautiful day outside. in the 80s. but i see only darkness. can’t seem to escape my head. don’t have the energy to do anything. want to sleep, but can’t. barely have the energy to write this. trying to form coherent sentences . it is almost may. the month i had designated as my last. maybe that is why i am weepy, sad, etc etc. name the depression symptom i have it. the muscle pain and fatigue seem to be getting worse. sleep doesn’t feel refreshing. like i have been beaten up while i slept. then there is the suicidal thoughts. never far from my mind. […]
I read a lot of people who have multiple suicide attempts, I don’t judge but I do feel genuine remorse. I think im different in that ive had one attempt which was nearly successful and had a shotgun as backup but when it was cocked and pointed I said “it don’t feel right yet”. this was Halloween night 4 years ago, my thoughts have not changed I still want to not be alive for as long as I remember (I don’t want to die, just prefer it over living) ive had happiness but still felt this way all except for a few months my girlfriend […]
i wish i had someone i could completely open up to and talk to. not therapists or medical people, not people who “care” and tell me stuff ive already heard. ive lived a life and know that i don’t want to anymore, ive been fighting and trying for 10+ years and i always knew i wouldn’t hit 25. my 25th birthday is in December and im already at my lifes rock bottom and have been here for months. I dug a whole so id have to kill myself. ive been climbing up and down this whole but everytime i go up i just want to […]
Hi guys! How have you been? I have some good and then again some bad news… I have girlfriend : ) She is like all I ever wanted, and I couldn’t ask anything more when I have her by my side ♥ We have been together almost two months now, but we have secretly been in love with each other over half a year.. so we are happy that we can finaly be together now!
But there is one problem I haven’t talked with her about yet.. And it’s her ex. Her exgirlfriend, who died last year. I know that year is very very short time […]
The water fills her lungs
Her body begins to chill slowly
Floating in the middle of the ocean
As life flourishes around her
Her life drifts away
Moments are all that’s left now
As she takes her last but final breath
She prays to the heavens above her
To forgive her for what shes done.
She opens her eyes again
Light burning her eyes
She thanks haven for letting her have the chance to have eternal life
But the rest of her senses arise
She hears the beeping of her heart monitor
And she sighs with pain
She has failed once again…
But now it seems like eating disorders and self harm are all over the place. I’m sure I’ve probably been making the most weird and horrified faces at just about everything.
I got handed a knife to cut open a bag and the guy sitting next to me pointed to the bag and said “Don’t cut yourself.†I almost dropped everything I was holding because I thought he was pointing at my left arm.
Later that night a friend walked in and said “Marion, you’re so tiny and skinny.†I smiled because I was super proud of myself until she said “I don’t mean to say you […]
born may 27 1962
its been a long road in life and it never gets easy .. all the drugs in the world are never enough to fill the dead hole where my soul goes.. never owned a car or had a family or a house.. my dad died in the war and my mom never came home one day
.. no brothers or sisters to help out .. i would have died then if it wasnt for an old school mate of mine sneakin food out for me everyday.. i knew i couldnt take his food forever so i decided to up and leave to San […]
Every day, when I wake up, panic surges though me. Hurry, I think. Don’t let yourself become totally awake. Hurry! Go back to sleep.
I used to think that a little extra sleep would help. And, I guess it used to. It doesn’t anymore. Less and less do I want to awaken.
I smile at these little things that no one knows about.
I smile in sorrow.
I finally have had enough with the emotional and physical abuse with everyone in my life. It is not like I have a best friend to tell all my problems to and receive advice from so I have decided to take a step forward and see a therapist.
I am partially excited about this decision because I can finally allow myself to open up without worrying about my secrets getting out but I am also afraid to tell about my feelings and emotions because what if he/she thinks I am a freak? A nothing.
This is my first step towards freedom from the dreadful memories that bind […]
That feeling of the blade going deeper into my skin makes me feel sick…But at the same time its so much relief. The pain is such a welcome distraction…
Please log in to report posts