General

I miss both my friends so much. It feels like a huge part of my heart is gone.
Knowing I’ll never hear their voices or feel their hugs kills me.
It’s hard to imagine life without those two.
I feel like the best thing to do it join them.
I love them so much. <3

Corey Jay Dykes 26/9/1995 – 23/3/13
Lachlan Robert Sloper Bailey 15/5/1994 – 23/3/11

I'll see you soon. <3

I’m actually not.  That’s the strange thing.  .

I’ve known I was going to kill myself for over ten years, ever since I was 17.  Now I am 28.

If anyone has reasons not to die it is me.  I have a great job with more money than I know what to do with.   I have two little girls, not yet 5 years old.  My best friend lives with me.  My wonderful boyfriend loves me dearly.  I am healthy and, if not pretty, at least very intelligent and fun to be around.

But I am going to die.  I have attempted it almost successfully many times before. […]

ok…. why am I typing?  Why am i breathing?  if life has taught me anything its that happiness doesn’t last.  and that it isn’t real. nothing is real.  i am sick of the pain.  and I am tired of the tears.  I am tired of being forgotten.  And I am tired of fighting.  I have been here too many times.  And I can’t do it any more………………………..

Dear Noob World or to whom ever reads this;

i cant fucking take it anymore all these shit brained lemmings out there the mass of zombies reveling in their ignorance and retardedness has pissed me the fuck off

Although everyone on Earth has failed to give me even half the accolades and praise that i should get, me inf1n1, being the 3rd coming of christ, I will still fulfill my destiny. You’re welcome.

For you discusting pukes, I will shed my blood to once again open the gates of heaven. Because of me, you heathen beasts won’t have to endure any locust, floods, toads or nukes…

So, start erecting […]

There’s this girl dressed in all black
People stare at her as she walks
she could careless about what people thought
what a lie she tells herself everyday

There’s a girl who never says a word
She won’t speak her thoughts
She believes that her words are useless
She lives in her head

There’s a girl who had to many scars to count
On her skin she screams with anger
Under her clothes lays the truth
Nobody wants to know

There’s a girl who screamed
Nobody came running
Nobody heard
No one saved her from him

There’s a girl who’s afraid
To leave her room
To tell the truth

So it has been a while since i have last posted on here.

How is everyone? Has anyone been in the process of recovering or making an improvement?

I went and bought the 21 cubic foot tank filled with ********, a couple hours later got the regulator with a different piece to put in to switch it to psi. now whats a goods psi to put it on so it is done effeciently? I think  read like 8 or something??? Someone with knowledge not just throwing numbers out please. People put out alot of mis information on these forums like they have done it many times. My grandma died next to me last weekend and that was the final straw but I planned it many times before her death this just helped push […]

So I was in the hospital in January for suicidal ideation.  Killing myself was just at the tip of my fingers. There was no doubt I would do it any day. The hospital just made me worse. It’s not what I thought it would be at all. I can’t believe the way the workers treated patients there. Just unbelievable! I’m still questioning myself about why I’m still here. I think about it everyday. I’m wasting the little bit of energy that I do have trying to push through the days. I’m not working right now, because I’m on medical leave due to mental health. I […]

My psychiatrist asked me today 3 times if he should be worried.

My world’s caving in on me. My friends have become my enemies. Deep down, they wish I’d just kill myself already.

Everything’s clear now. I thought I’d get over this feeling. I feel hopeless.

There are people who have gone through with it and now it’s time. Time for me to get away. Far away from here.

I’m going to make a video. My last video. If I have the guts, I will post it onto here.

I am so scared right now. I’m trying to distract myself.

I’ll never be what everybody else wants me to, therefore I am not good enough.

I’M EMPTY. I HAVE NO HEART. I NEED […]

Everybody assumes that I want to commit suicide for attention. I couldn’t care less about attention. I just feel so lost. And when I do go people will question why I did. It’s a sick world

best time to die home alone …..need to fighting it dont going in the kitchen or upstairs NOT gnna give in

I’ve been unemployed for years. I’m almost 33 years old and I have to depend on my parents for food and a place to live. I have no real skills and no hope of obtaining a stable job or restarting a career. Every day I wake up is a reminder of how worthless I am and how little I have to offer compared to other people. There are people in my life who love and care for me, but they don’t understand how much it hurts to be an utter failure. No matter what I try and do to make things better, I’m met with […]

wake up.
and come out from your dream
wake up.
and visit reality.
wake up.
life is meant for living
wake up.
but I am meant for dying.
wake up!
this world shuns all the dreamers.
Wake up!!
There’s nothing for me here.
WAKE UP!!!
up from reality…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I guess i’ll conform to tough,
but reality is rough.
and to be honest hun,
i’ve almost had enough.
No, stay strong
you’ll make it through.
No, don’t go.
We all love you.
You say so many silly things.
none of which i’ll believe.
No, your diamond in the rough!
you’ll see!
No, I know you can […]

I was thinking of memories of the past. All the friends I never really had, and all the people that left me. I would give anything to return to then, even though it was shit, it was better. At least I couldn’t see that my friends were being decided by my parents, or that the school lunchtime supervisors were told to spy on me, or that I had been manipulated to want certain things and go to certain schools. No, I couldn’t see any of that. I even still believed my parents cared about me then. Ignorance really is bliss.