General

I changed. I changed everything about me for someone just so I could be with them. It took me three years ,but here I am. I don’t like what I’ve become. If I’d known what I know now I would’ve stayed a loner. I am still alone. I have friends ,but not close friends. I struggle to make connections with people. I’ve never had a girlfriend.Everyone else seems to have had one but me. I’m jealous of people who would be in love one day and separated another. I tell myself I don’t need anything but myself and my success and for a while that […]

I feel so empty all the time. I just want to curl up in a ball and scream, but I just keep walking, with that same expression on my face. Is this really how life is supposed to be? With all these people, trying to save themselves, from themselves? Trying not to end their own life, trying to keep breathing?

Sometimes I wonder if it’s even worth it. What’s the point? What’s coming ahead that’s so important? Just more and more shit. Taxes, jobs, mortgages, college, high school, I’m only 13! I have a whole life in front of me, but all I can see is […]

I don’t know, this place is just weird..I’m not sure why I joined. Maybe I need it too? I feel weird.

I can’t even understand myself sometimes, like right now, about why I’m here.

I think I have multiples personalities or some shit. It won’t stop and shut up already, It won’t leave. My ‘humanity’ just doesn’t disappear. My mind won’t stop the nonsense and let me think straight. No, the over-thinking won’t stop. I just want it to be calmed, at least before I could still think, sure I felt melancholic but I could think.

Everything and everyone is full of bullshit. And if there’s people and […]

Not a single one of us chose to be born unto life, not all life is blessing, much of it is curse, and as Buddha might say: life is suffering. Of course, as for myself, I agree with the elders: better never to have been born.

Living now, it has became a daily struggle. I fight to make it through another second, another minute, another hour. I can’t look into the future, I can’t tell myself I’ll make it to Christmas, I can only tell myself I can make it to 10 PM. Nothing helps me feel better. I can cry for hours and hours, it won’t make my wounds heal. I could rant all I pleased, it makes me feel worse. It’s like poking a bruise, it just makes it hurt more.

I try to make myself see things better, but things aren’t better, that’s just it! My “friends” hate me, […]

can someone help me? i wanna know what heaven or hell is like. or whatever comes after death. i’ve read books and stuff but nothing helps.

please. help? everyday i think about what life will be like after death and i just wanna know. i don’t care if it’s a religious view but please help me. thankyou

I feel tired all the time. I feel like theres no reason anymore. I drag myself through every day. I don’t want to survive, I want to live. I want to be happy again. I always wake up and feel depressed, like I don’t want to get up. I dont want to go any where. I don’t want to do anything. My life always feels wrong. Like something is missing. Like theres an empty place where you should be.

Im making this really short: I thought I was happy. I’ve been wrong. So I wanna try again. Find a long lost friend.

I can’t wait to see you, death.

everyday i feel like im worth nothing. Today i got back my science results and they were terrible. im not smart, ill never be and sometimes i wonder whats the point of living if i never gonna be smart enough to get a job. i try. i just cant stuff the information into my freaking stupid brain. And yeah, im not pretty. im not good anything. I wish i was better at everything and i don’t like my life. I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT MYSELF. people tell me dont do that. or they ask me why I feel like dying but they just dont get what […]

so my school decided to give out suicide prevention bracelets that say “Celebrate Life” and “Everyone Matters”. i think its crap, but i guess its for the recent senior who committed suicide last month..so i guess ill wear it.

been kind of happy lately only because i am with my first actual boyfriend and im talking to my best friend again who has recently began to cut herself again. I’m the only one who knows at this point and i cant do anything about it because shes been doing it forever, and doesnt listen to anyone anyway. This is a trigger for me and my family […]

When I was born my mom went into the mental hospital leaving infant me and my three-year-old sister and only sibling under the care of my paternal grandparents, mainly my grandma. I was told my sister used to pull the bottom of my crib out, landing me on the floor where she would then attempt to suffocate me in a box of Kellogg’s Rice Krispies w/the liner. My mom had been going in and out of mental institutions for my entire upbringing and continues in and out of them to this day. When I was almost 13 and my older sister (and surrogate mom) was almost 16, she went to a block […]

this passing year has been a blur.
I don’t want to sit here and just ***** about my life, but it seems like that’s all I can do for myself. I’ve thought of killing myself during school while in school, I know I have an okay life

I really don’t know why I’m so sad,or depressed numb maybe I feel like the after feeling when you eat Mc.donals and you just feel so lazy and blowded.

I go to therapy one a week, take meds.

I think I have friends, I hate that feel like I’m in a puddle of self pity, maybe I am

I thought I was […]

Why can’t I cry? No matter how depressed I get, no matter what I see or hear, regardless of the circumstance, I just can’t cry.  Physically I’m fine, but I just cannot bring myself to shed one single tear.  The closest I’ve ever gotten was in my car.  Maybe I’ll just fill up the tank and drive for a few hours.  To “Get away from it all!” as they say.  Perhaps….Perhaps that will make a difference.

Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one who can see clearly, reality is so clear to me. So many people seem so oblivious, oblivious to their own self. Someone who has a negative impact to another persons life by insulting them for no apparent reason, brining them down to the point of suicidal thoughts or even attempts, refuse to believe they have been a horrible human being, they are in fact a nice person through their own eyes. Another example, killing an animal for meat, well that’s not wrong is it? but yes it is. People strip them from their rights, prison them, kill […]

I accept no conditions
I take what I want
I have no reputation
That I must maintain

You tell me that intellect
Is not a product
Of my instrument
Well, I think you’re full of shit

No feelings of sorrow
No feelings of joy
I’m just a product
Of your ignorance

I’ve been dehumanised
I’ve become part of the black