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I feel unwanted.
I feel hated.
I feel ugly.
I feel stupid.
I feel ashamed.
I feel empty.
I feel lost.
I feel weak.
I feel helpless.
I feel hopeless.
I feel dead.
I feel tired.
I feel like a fu** up.
I feel like a failure.
I feel angry.
I feel sad.
I feel depressed.
I feel fat.
I feel clumsy.
I feel like a mess.
I feel heavy.
I feel…Unwanted.
..Tired. I’m tired of being ignored everywhere.
I’m tired of being ignored in real life.
I’m tired being ignored on the internet.
I’m tired of school and the stress they give.
I’m tired of my parent thinking that i can go in a university with a scholarship.
But in actuality, I can’t. How can i earn a scholarship? How can university even except me?
I don’t overdose in ‘APs’, I dont stay afterschool, I don’t  have much talent, except art maybe.
I’m not taking an art college anyways. My parents doesn’t want me to and what’s the point? These people, professor in any art college, will probably just look down on me due […]
I am a moron i have been choking wile people on sp chat told me to astop i really need it though i wann go numb i to,ld jessica my pposter partner i learned to deal with my depressiion that is not really tru i just try to but dont really know
sorry weeping angile im not lisening i waNT to but i cant just sit here and hope it will fget better while my hands barely do anything but write simle…. simple words on a piece of paper or typing i cant really do much with that. i dont care about spelling now cant fucos […]
I think..
I think, I might end it tonight.
End my life.
Theres too much weight on my shoulders.
The sinking feeling on my heart.
The hollow feeling in my chest.
The feeling like no one cares.
Like no one loves you.
Everyone I love leaves..
Or walks away..
I don’t want to deal with that anymore.
I want to end it tonight.
I know I have the guts to.
I just don’t want my baby brother to see it.
I want to be alone and take my life.
I just want to be free. I want to be able to freely express who I feel like I should be from the inside and the outside. For a moment I thought everything was okay. Some thoughts I wasn’t able to take out and that naturally haunted me in and out of my life, finally disappeared for a month. And now it seems like I’m heading back to phase one again. Whereas I pondered about why I was having thoughts like this as my depression kept on deepening, and analyzing it, and analyzing it…stressing myself out slowly as months went by, etc…
Well guess what? Not […]
I have been on the roof of my house ready to jump end it all. I have a voice in my head due to 17 years of sleep deprivation. It tells me how awful I am. The sleep deprivation comes from nightmares because of abandoment issues from my parents and because at the age of 6 my step uncle well touched me. I have never told any one and keep every thing bottled up. I feel empty and just like I should not exist.
I don’t know what to do anymore.
I know, my mom won’t care if I was to kill myself.
She’d be relieved to not have a daughter with a bi-polar disorder, serve depression..
Whose going to jail.
Who fucked up her life.
Who has blow outs any minute.
I’m worthless and I’m empty.
After this, I don’t think I can stand tall anymore.
I think I was brought down to low this time.
I hope she will be happy when I’m gone.
I hope she finds a man that will treat her right.
I am new to this, I am 14. Everyday I face school. School is..well you are supposed to look forward to going to school, seeing your friends, etc..me? I dread school. I hate it. I hate going, I hate homework, I hate the people, the food, I hate it all. I want to end it. After a hard day at school, being bullied, and made fun of on volleyball, I come home, and get on facebook/twitter and read the cyberbullying going on to me. I can’t help but cry. Cry my eyes out. Scream, yell, and kick. Throw my computer across the room, and text […]
Abortion is legal, they have clinics where you can take the life of another… But how come when you want to take your own life, you can’t do it as humanely? Why can’t you pay a couple thousand dollars for nice comforting morphene overdose?
It’s legal to get paid to fuck a random person on camera in any and every position available, and you in turn and buy that and, well… you know the rest. But when it comes to standing on the side of the street and dishing it out, both contenders get their asses put in jail.
Is society fucked up or what? Who are […]
ohmaigawd…….. my mom and i just had this whole frigging talk about how stupid i am and how i should just die. holy shit, i swear i could just die right now but im not going to because i have to finish typing this. my mom is sending me to china next year because she is “ashamed” of having me as a child. if you went through my thoughts this is how i see it: if i die before next year then i dont have to go to china, i wont have to live this bullshit life anymore, and my mom will be happy too […]
I’ve been checking this site out for a long, long time. I’ve led a miserable life, anytime I’ve gotten close to ending things I’ve always found a way out. Now, I’ve gotten to the point that I’m tired of trying to figure things out, I’m tired of the unexpected, and I’m tired of the self-destruction. I’ve always been able to hide any problems I’ve faced, issues I’ve dealt with, people around me seem to think I live a “perfect” life. If they only knew the truth, would they still be there?
I have it all planned out. I have letters written to those that mean the […]
I am 17 and 6 weeks pregnant and want to die! I am so stupid I’m a runaway for almost a year and i got pregnant my parents lost there rights and i can’t get medical unless i go to a foster home I will never go back! i am stuck between 2 possible fathers and I Have feelings for both but at some point they are both assholes I am looking into ways to end mine and my baby’s life!
I woke up with a masive head
I woke up with vomit around me
I looked up and saw my mom giving me a mop
I cleaned my mess
Last Night I took a whole bottle of advil with some ibeprofen
Last Year I started to be “different”
Friday Septemember 28 I found out that i was eligbue to be in a school for talented “Special” Kids
Yesterday I found out i can pay to be in that school
Today I wish I took more pills
I hate being 12 years old
I don’t know what to say. I’m close and the guilt that usually pulls me back isn’t as strong as it used to be. What makes this worse is I am so alone that I’ve resorted to the potential wisdom/comfort of strangers because “no one cares” is so bloody literal it has become unbearable. I’ve read posts and should be comforted that I am “not alone”, but to see so many people in so much pain who are so alone…it just causes more despair.
I used to think I didn’t want to be here anymore. Now I’m quite convinced I simply can’t.
So I was going to to homecoming with this one girl. She does go to a different school so I had to do all this bullshit paper work so she could go and get it approved by her school. SO after that was all out the way I bought the ticket. I told her and she said okay. Then ignores me the whole week! Homecoming was last night. But Friday at school I decided to not take her but take a really close friend of mine.
So I bought my friend her ticket and she was SOO excited. I was to I mean really we both […]
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I’m new here. Â Not too fond of social networks, though could this be called one? Â I guess, in some respects. Â That being said, I probably won’t be around often, not that anyone would really care since none of you know me anyway. Â I’m not really into divulging much about my personal life, but it’s never been easy. Â My mother is wacky to say the least, my dad is equally as wacky, and my sister is taking after them. Â Not that I’m not wacky, but I just don’t have the energy to 3v1 them. Â Most of the time, I’m either doing my homework or playing video […]
This song is a personal favourite of mine, one of my favourite Portugal. The Man songs actually. It’s off the album In The Mountain In The Cloud and you can read whatever you want into it, but it seems pretty obvious to me…
This song was used in the Doctor Who episode Vincent and the Doctor, and as any art lover will know Vincent Van Gogh was famous for suffering from severe depression (he cut one of his own ears off in a manic episode) and committing suicide at the age of only 37 scorned as an artist in his own lifetime…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khvC1M14S1M
So this week has been pure shit. I mean, Suicidal thinking shit. Obviously.
First, I just haven’t been my self this week. I’ve been a blend of the the bad Nat’s that we know and love :3 Secondly, Thursday was 27/9/12 (The ‘day’ that the voices have been talking about for months) Nothing bad happened on that day because I didn’t go into school… Friday however was by far the worst day of the week.
So Friday- Woke up feeling okay, did all my routines. Did break down a bit third lesson but I brought myself back from it. Cue fourth lesson. I got a facebook message […]
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