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i swear i breathe through my scars, so often i hold my breath til they’re open.
that sigh,
the deep breath.
that relief…
if ending it feels like that, i don’t know why i’m afraid.
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General
A friend of mine found out today that I have started cutting again and well he doesn’t like that. I tried to make him understand that I’ve tried to stop but it’s hard. Now he won’t really talk to me I think he’s mad. He probably does have the right to be I’ve lied over and over again. I’m not sure what to do I really don’t want to loose him. Any suggestions???
i can’t believe it, i’ve lost the only thing i’ve ever enjoyed in life and he through it all away. i gave him everything and he pays me back by ripping my heart out. All my friends have “dropped” me. All i’ve got now is my sister and even then she doesn’t care. I’m just so over it all so this is me. Saying bye. i’m so sorry to who i have caused pain to but. in the end no one was ever really there, i get laughed at, at school and im so pardon my french but im so fucking over it. bye.
“Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it’s not because they enjoy solitude. It’s because they have tried to blend into the world before and people continue to disappoint them.”
Hello.
I think I’ll start with introducing myself so that, you know who I am and you won’t have to put it all together in confusion.
My name is James, but I like to be called Jamie. It’s more fitting and all of my friends call me that.
I’m 16 and enduring my Junior year of high school, Â so far the hardest year of my life.
There are many things that make me sad, which seems to be the case for most sincere people on this site, so I’ll just break my rant up into parts according to what’s going on.
My Brain
The thoughts that I have are so unorganized, […]
So I just qot off the phone with my old bestfriend,I miss her!!!!!I wanna qive her the biqqest huq!!!So I told her about Teenqirl and this site.I told her to click my name and read my posts If she wants to know the real me.After readinq my embarrassinq Wrestlemania post,out of nowhere she starts cryinq and tells me “why would you do that?”Why would you cut your self?”She saw the cuttinq picture that I have.I couldn’t really say anythinq cause my friend was riqht next to me so I told her I’ll call her back.Her reaction made me feel horrible like fuck I should just […]
….have you ever come to the realization that the only person who was wrong about the person u loved most in ur life…was u?
or have you ever realized that the only person in your life is the person who disappointed you the most…. Â (you)
being alive is THE most horrible waste of time.
i dont know what im still doing here.
I can’t take it anymore! All that’s left for me in life is a gun. I’m never going to acomplish anything in life, and even if I do, I won;t even begin to compare with my dear sister’s acomplishments. I don’t see the point in living if all that goes throught my head is depression and confusion. Confusuin to what I am. I know I like other girls, and my friends have accepted that, but am I bi or Lesbian. Bi is one thing, but would they accept lesbian? Not only that, but this is my last year of freedom. I’,m pretty much out at […]
Why is this blogging site called THE SUICIDE PROJECT, what do they mean by project. Is this a site studying emotions of dpressed people. I know I will get a lot of rage comments but I would like to know. It sounds stupid just reading it over. But still I wish to know
Today it was decided that for my safety and my little sisters safety it would be better to put me in a ward for a couple of weeks or months… You see that my mother is a extremely strict Christian – And after i came out to my family as a homosexual – She know believes i am possessed by a demon… So after a couple times of trying to kill myself because my father is disappointed at me , and tells me im disgusting she decide for ” my own good ” And “The protection of my little sister” That i need to go […]
i feel so stuck in this life, school, work, homework, boredom. my “friends” never have time to hang out so the only interaction i get is with my boyfriend and fake friends who only use me for my cigarettes or money. i yearn for an adventurous life but it just seems impossible. i have no major in college because none of them interest me and i can no longer imagine a future for myself. i have terrible social skills so making new friends is next to out of the question.. i see other people laughing and having a good time and my envy enrages me, […]
Normally when I have a flashback or nightmare I write about it in my journal. Today I decided to post about it on here just so that I don’t have to keep this mess hidden inside me. This is hard for me to write about so I’m sorry if it doesn’t make too much sense.
I don’t usually have good sleeps, some nights I don’t sleep at all. I’m terrified of the dark in fear of my abusers getting me. Last night I dozed off, I didn’t fall asleep, just went into a trance to try to calm myself. Around 10am this morning I was triggered when I […]
I want to die, but of course I can’t. First I’m scared of dying but I’m sick and tired of trying to live happy. My parents stalk the hell out of me whenever I try to talk to a boy and my dad and mom beat me. What am I supposed to do? My friends tell me I look weird when I don’t smile because I smile all the time. Why do I smile? Why am I completely at peace when I’m at school, but at home I dread it and want to die
I’m tired of living. I’m tired of crying. I’m tired of doing […]
Lights off. Ears plugged. Doors locked. Notes placed. Water running. Blade cutting. Perfect. All according to plan.
Lights fading. Consciousness slipping. Room spinning. Parents sleeping. Blood pouring. Finally. Time to go.
No more. The End. Black. Infinite black. Peace. Calm. Eternity.
Then noise. Faint. Distant. A hum. A buzz. Audible only because it it the only sound in the beautiful void.
The hum won’t stop. Won’t go away. Won’t leave me alone. I have to find out what it is. What is it anyway!? Look around. Just black.
Wait, I didn’t look around. I couldn’t. There is only black. Maybe if I open my eyes. Then I could find the source […]
I have done all I can do, same old story told a million times…
by angelskissus
written by angelskissus
I HATE my life. That’s it. I spend all my time, hating my life. My kids, take turns BASHING and PUNISHING me. I am terminal anyway. It takes so much energy to HATE anything, or anyone for that matter. I know that someday I will be in Heaven with my Father. I can not believe that He Hath Forsaken me. I knew the consequences of coming back, I should not ever have come back. I HATE it here. I am so emotionally abused…and everyone sits around like that is an acceptable action ~ to be verbally, mentally, physically, and emotionally abusive. My son in LA, […]
if we were all born with sin,and none of us are good enough to get to heaven,then we are pretty much fucked over,i think of every possible reason,what the point of life would be,but i cant think of any,i try so hard to be strong,but the humane in me cant fucking take it anymore,if i dont have nobody,then why do i stay here,if i wanted to jump a train right now,i could,why cant i just get up and leave,theres nothing here,fuck it,
PlPlEase dontt  go the same way as me, talk to someone it may help, wish had x
Hey, you can call me Mordecai. Mostly cuz I love the name because of Regular Show and Borderlands. and for privacy reasons. I guess I don’t know what to do or say. And that’s the problem in a way.
I used to be suicidal a long time ago, can’t say if I’m not anymore. Growing up I’ve always had a lot of “friends”, more what I’d call friendly aquaintances. You know, those people you meet and like and say hello to but you have no real connection with in almost any way. Well I moved across town in elementary and then in 4th grade there was this new […]
I hate how people joke about dying or someone killing themselves… it is not funny and is in no way something to joke about… those jokes are all i hear anymore and it makes me mad that they think of it as a joke ugggh i hate people….