General

I hate how people can know a kid has a learning disability, troubles at home, depression, no friends, is shy, autistic, etc. and still make fun of them. It’s called grow the fuck up and learn to be nice, it won’t kill you to sit with the kid that’s alone at lunch, tutor the kid that needs help. Be a friend, maybe save someone from committing suicide. If you knew how those people feel without you putting more stress on them too, you wouldn’t think of ever making fun of them again. Even if the kids completely normal doesn’t give you a reason to make […]

i first started having suicidal thoughts when i was 16 years old but i desided i was going to hang in there and try to be the best i could but it was never good enough for anybody not even my mother who is the one person that is suppose to love me unconditionally. now four years later, nothings changed im still the same scared girl staring at the bottle of oxy saying that todays the day….. i wish i had it in me to just cut myself or take those pills. if only i had someone i could count […]

I’ve been really depressed lately, and it seems like it came out of nowhere. I’m only a teen and I’ve told my mom and she suggested going to therapy and getting on medication. But for some reason I just don’t have it in me to talk to somebody about my problems. I feel like talking will only make things worse. I feel stupid for feeling like this but these feelings of loneliness and worthlessness just won’t go away. Me and my best friend keep getting into stupid fights that last for the longest time. I always feel like people are judging me about every little […]

They think I’m perfect, good grades, popular, pretty, thats what I hear about t
me. But is it true? I don’t think so…. I’m not good enough I never am. My grades aren’t good enough, yes in have straight A’s but I need more. I’m not pretty, I’m to fat, yes I am a size one but It’s not good enough. I lie each day, act like I’m okay. Because I need to be okay and if I say it enough times, I start to believe my own words, but secretly I know its all a lie. I hear the voices, I see people who […]

some people just make it more and more clear i dont belong here…even on SP..maybe i should walk away..and die. soon i will give the people their wish im sick of bitches and douches. just shut up if u cant be nice.

Yeah but nothing has chanted since I was last on.. I haven’t cut in about 10 days now.. I developed an eating disorder since I was last on, tried to commit twice.. stopped drinking.. am yeah.. like you even give a shit right?

I found out two days ago that my ex committed suicide last week, It feels weird but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it,
We haven’t been together or spoken for nearly 8 years but I keep thinking What if he had reached out to me and what if I could have helped him or even tried to understand what he’d being going though.
I wish I could have done something to help him.

im 15 and im completely lost in this crazy world i don’t know what to do anymore.

the title says it all… Im done , with everything …  Oh they will suffer alright – when they are freaking looking at my gravestone, They will be responsible for everything i have done to myself. You  might as well trial them for murder , because they will be the reason why im dead.

I smile,

just so people don’t ask whats wrong.

Because if they did….I’d have to explain how my dad screwed up my life,how my best friend hurt me more than anybody could and i still miss her,  how im deeply depressed, and how just about every other day I want it all to end.

Now i’d probably never kill myself because if I did it would hurt the ones I love and the ones who love me, but I think about it….

a lot.

Somedays it seems like nothing i do is good enough.

and everything I say means nothing to anybody.

i breathe and it hurts.

i swallow and theres a lump […]

its worse than it has ever been. My depression has surrounded me more than ever.
‘Every day I do less and less, to the point where all I do is lay in my bed . I can’t cry any more , I feel that my sadness has become too strong for me to let it go this way,
I am a student and I don’t even go to my classes any more. Human interaction has turned into almost an impossible thing. Looking back on it I was never ready for college, or for real life for that matter. Every time […]

I think my mother is depressed. She rarely talks and when she does it to complain or to yell about something that went wrong, even the littlest things cause arguments or crying fit. I don’t know what to do to help her feel better.
The other day she told me if she had the money and means of doing so she would leave her boyfriend. She doesn’t love him anymore, and I can see that. he’s always yelling at her or making her feel stupid and she still defends him, she says that it’s because he’s in pain and he has lower testosterone levels, and […]

I realise i just reached out but im done. I cant do it anymore.

Some times I wonder am I truly alone or are there other people out there who feel as insane as me.

I feel as though my life is getting pulled into a black abyss and there is nothing I can do to stop it.

Days go by weeks even and I feel like only hours have past, time and days mean nothing to me.

Everything seems like such a blur and no one really understands.

They say that want to help or they ask me to explain but I can’t I don’t understand it myself.

I just know that I feel like my heart has been torn out of my body and […]

People tell me my life is just beginning, that I’m in my prime and that its all about to begin. Others tell me that in order to be happy I need to make it happen, they say that I need to reach out and take those risks to make my life what I want it to be. But it’s not that simple. There aren’t many options in the society I live in and because I try avoid judgement and be perfect for everyone, I find it very hard to take those steps into making my life the way I want it to be.

I’ve wanted to kill […]

I will cry myself to sleep tonight again like I have been doing for the past couple of months. Been hurt a lot this past month. I just wish any of my friends would give me a hug out of the blue and tell me that everything is going to be ok. I would probably break down and cry my heart out if that happened. It never does, though. I’m so sad inside that I can cry so easily. It’s like my emotions are a pot of water spilling over. Sometimes I ponder when I was last happy. I honestly don’t know. But I have […]