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So i left the man i really love to be with.an Hiv infected person… hes a great guy and im really just rebounding but i dont know, im still inlove with my ex, so my feelings are all fucked up..but i think i will give the hiv guy a chance, eventhough im hiv neg.
Hey everyone! I havent been on here in forever but im feeling kinda crappy right now…plus i cant sleep haha, anybody wanna talk?
im ready to. but I CANT. idk i must be this fucking stupid, i cant even kill myself, i fail..ive failed 15 times! though bout 11 were lousy attempts only to feel some pain in the end. im done, life is not fair. well damn that is right. school starts tuesday…im ok with that..i want my phone though…i either get it next week or in november for my birthday…(so my sister says) i partially believe her cuz dad said i get it back..i need my phone to fix my relationship…damn that sounds pathetic. ugh i feel ignored…alone. but im not. i have an amazing bf […]
Isolation
Anxiety
Guilty
Yet Quiet
Pushing myself Slowly
………
Distractions
Still worried
Caring but
Really
Challenging
Missing
Emptiness
Lost
Frustrated
Sad
Reality I really do have too
Can’t go…
Near…
Supposed to move forward plus…
Others are happy.
Its like…
I never existed ever…
I always understood the fact where everyone always moves forward,
Abandoning others
I try so hard not to abandon other people though…
Even if i am mad,
Pissed off after we make up we still say hi and have a conversation but this time…
It will never happen.
That guilt and regret feeling.
It conqures more and more…
Each and every day again.
but at least I am starting to forget.
Starting to be self again.
Isolated
Alone
Quiet
Calm
I’m a hobbiest now.
Try something new
I will never be a princess
I shall not fall as quickly
I was a hopeless romantic
Just […]
Today was a very bad day, and now I wonder what’s my point on this rock, when not even my friends can find a reason to need me. I’m tired of helping those, who show no appreciation and can’t even forgive the slightest mistake. I’m tired that I can’t do better than that.
Every time I get on the scale, I cry. I am losing weight but not enough. It’s taking all of my strength not to kill or at least cut myself right now. I want to be a fucking model, and I have thighs that touch. Disgusting… sometimes I feel there’s no hope for me.
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck i want to die. ive been sitting at the train station all night. all i wanted to do was lay on the tracks. my one true love texted me out of the blue. what the hell why, why tonight? i was going to do it tonight and she stopped me. fuck.
Hi everyone,
I currently just started the 11th grade in high school, I take all ap classes and play two sports for my high school .I know alot of people at my school and i have alot of people that i consider friends and close friends.But most importantly im involved in community service organizations to help others in their horrible situtions as much as i can.But its very ironic to me because now a huge 360 has accured and now im the one searching for a solution in my life. My problem consists because i feel really alone in my social life, however it hurts me alot because i have […]
So yea, im horny am im going to have the time of my life b4 i go, i have my method already.. im juzt having tons of sex b4 i do it
i fucking hate my mind. it plays such horrible games with me. i cant stop thinking about the beatings i would get from my mom. and each one is more vivid than the last. looks like im going to wind up cutting..again. such a fucking failure.
So. I’m new here. Suicide is.. something I hate talking about to people who don’t get it. Yeah.
I don’t know anymore.
Yesterday, I was all set to catch the bus. However, I didn’t end up doing it. :( The main reason is because my preferred method requires dry weather for its best chance of success, and the weather here at the moment is very wet. I know, it’s a lame excuse … but I’m pretty lame.
I could have used one of my other two methods. I didn’t.
Parts of my world are falling down around me. Other parts I thought had fallen down may be more resilient than I first thought. Depending on the outcomes of today, I may or may not decide to try tonight. I’m […]
I’m standing up on the plane in the half stance one does as they wait for the aisles to clear. I have to stand like this, instead of sitting and waiting for my turn to depart my aisle, because I have to let the people behind me know that there’s a goddam order to things and they are not allowed to step ahead of me in that order. A few aisles ahead of me is the tight-faced humorless broad, on the flight with two kids and a frowning middle aged sap. She keeps readjusting her hair on top of her head in the sloppy fashion […]
so i dont know why i put myself through all this bullshit. well i got a job..yay:/ i made my parents happy and i guess its good because that means extra money in my pocket for razors, diet pills and cigs. maybe its what i need. i was with her all day..im just going to call her T but thats beside the fact. im seeing my ex boyfriend who im still madly in love with and i just could date him because i know how fucked up i am and i never want to hurt him and i just want him to be happy. but […]
I once asked my friend what he thought about suicide.He told me “suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem”, he told me it was gutless and a cowardly thing to do.
I think it’s the bravest thing anybody could ever do. To end your life and welcome death and look him straight in the eye, i think it’s the bravest thing anybody could ever achieve.
I’ve thought about it, many times, I don’t think there is a person who hasn’t had the thought of ending it all cross their mind in their entire lifetime. I am new to this site but already it’s helping me, every time I look […]
Sin ti, mi silencio mi soledad, mis lagrimas ahogan el mar,
tu eres el lugar en el que quiero estar,
se que es dificil de explicar a si que mejor sientelo,
pierdete conmigo en un lugar que jamas existio,
y pasan los dias aunque quiero que sean contigo,
sigiendo este camino me llevo hasta ti el destino,
y no paro de pensar en ti desde una habitacion,
se pelean por ti mi alma mi cuerpo y mi corazon,
las agujas del reloj avanzan lentas sin ti,
mi mundo muere en un sueño de papel sin fin,
sentir como se detiene el tiempo ahora,
si recuerdo […]