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he doesnt listen to me, he doesnt care, he used to be perfect, i used to revolve my life around him. now idk why hes still my bf. idk why im still holding on
I have been so alone lately and the loneliness is starting to get to me. I thought I was wanted in my family but I’ve learned that it was all a big fat lie. No one wants me and I’m the most unimportant part of their lives. I just want to drop off the face of the earth and never come back and I won’t care if they would miss me because they don’t miss me now so I just want it all to be over. All they ever wanted from me was someone one to complain to or have to do them favors I […]
MY life has been hell for like 4-5 years now. I’m so tired of it.
I felt like I had JUST escaped from it all, but apparently not.
It started when my mom started doing drugs. That’s when my life changed. She started becoming more aggressive. She started staying in her room longer and sneaking friends in. She ruined me and my brothers lives. She eventually started to hit me. She attacked me a few times. She even lied to the cops about it once… I felt terrible that day. Even after all the stuff she’s put me through…I HATED seeing her walk out of […]
i Never Had a good Relationship with my Mom, she was Always out of the picture & on Drugs.
i Always wanted a mom Like The other kids in 4th Grade that would come & pick you up from school & just love you unconditionally. We fought , And Argued, She Told me She was Leaving Agian To NewMexico, i didnt really mind she had left multiple times . When she had gotten up there she called me maybe a month later saying she was pregnant, i Hated the Man she was with , He gotten her to take heroine agian, and she wasnt the same, She Said to me , […]
I almost caught the bus last night. I felt so desperate that I actually started the process. I only stopped because I hadn’t emailed my final letters yet.
These will go out today, and I will most likely finish the job tonight.
I will let you know how I get on.
i Never Thought i Would Ever Think of Suicide or Self Harm, But When i Finally figured out i Was All By myself in a world full of non Understanding People, i Was left with Self harm, Daily. At First no i Didnt want to Kill myself it was just a stress release, i Was Only 13, My Mom was Never Around, && i Was Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, & Put on Meds For that.
i Didnt Want to Kill Myself until the Day i Went And Asked my Dad for help, i Felt worse that day, && i wasnt Just going to cutt, of corse he didnt believe me. […]
i hope you always
find a reason to
smile
I thought I had beaten the bad thoughts, but apparently not. They’re back. Again… They’re back, they’re stronger than ever and I’m too tired to face them. I really wish people could know how many times I’ve fought this off…. How many times all I could think of was not waking up again. How many times I’ve drafted the same letter, trying to find the right words to explain to the people I love why I had to leave them. And each time, I get closer… The letter is now 11 pages long. It is placed in the right place to be found by the […]
… don’t ever give yourself up. Fall in love, live the moment, but do never ever give yourself up for anyone. Don’t give your dreams up for anyone. And don’t live for anyone else. Live for yourself. Friendship or romantic love… “When love hurts it won’t work”.
well its been up and down since i joined this site ,i shared my story , how i was raped , and used , hell im still used by so many of those close to me and it hurts but i lets them cause im hurting myself in the long run.When i joined this site , i had never hurt myself , never tried killing myself , i had only had thoughts about it , i was 14 when i joined up , im now 15 ,16 in 4 months ive tried killing myself twice , and cut myself a few times , ive also […]
You’re thirsty for life, yet, so eager to die.
When you reach for the stars, you fall from the sky.
To tell you the truth, life is only a lie.
You fear yourself, but you don’t question why.
You’re hungry for more than lonely nights.
Thinking you’ll learn to fly if you reach for the light.
When you realize the truth, you’ll give up the fight.
Did you ever forget that you’re empty inside?
IÂ cut. A lot..
I’ve done it for about a year. I swore to myself I would never harm myself like that, but look where I am now. I have an arm and two ankles covered in scars and cuts. I think of cutting as a stronger way of crying; i feel so weak just bursting into tears, so intsted i cut, it shows i’m strong enough to deal with pain. But now I know I need to stop. People who mean so much to me tell me I need to stop. I’m loosing people because of it. I nearly went to hospital because the bleeding wouldn’t stop. […]
Loaded up the vaporizor with with  bleach. Now just gonna lay back and breathe in the fumes until i go into respiratory failure! This is it here we go
Lately I’ve been pulled in by this weird trance like gaze. Anything I look at I start to key in and never blink. Behind the stare in the eyes is sadness, bitterness and impatience. My lids seem frozen in time, my teeth lock, and my heart slows to a crawl (not sure if literally). I then shakes my head and keep doing things at lightning speed. Rush rush rush. If I can’t die then I have to force myself to be blindly fast. Unfortunately my blinding fast is going from a snail to a tortoise. It’s faster for me but not really fast to everyone […]
oh my love, oh my dear
what i gave you was so dear
oh my love, oh my dear
what i gave you was so dear
loved you dear, just so, dear
loved you dear, oh so, dear
gave you a love, gave you a heart
all you gave me a broken heart
gave you a love, gave you a heart
all you gave me a broken heart
I would love to believe in a God or a higher meaning, or that memories (or anything for that matter) persist after death. But I can’t. So with that in mind, what difference does it make if I decide to hang myself today or die in 50+ years?
Just a  little verse in english of a german electronic band, that made me feel very well. I loved the moment when I heard this one the first time 🙂
” … Life is beautiful, you only have to see it. When everything gets too gray, just screw in the color. I have seen in my travels that we seek happiness because we don’t understand. because we don’t understand … ”
I hope things will get better for all of us. But sometimes I think we just have to make the best of our lives, because sometimes live is better to us, then we think it is. Take […]
My dads dead, my sister has fatal cancer, my bestfriend is dying. And the guy I love, loves somebody else.
I’m sick of life, I just want to die at the moment. I feel ugly fat, and just worthless
I’m starting to doubt God…