For general topics related to the site.
yup. I cut last night. Just one but I couldn’t ‘not’ cut -.- I hate my brother. I like looking at it -.- blood came almost through the band-aid. beautiful -.- yeah I’m weird, whatever. I missed it tho.
Category:
General
Anxiety, depression, Bulimia Nervosa and cronically alone.
After seeking treatment for Comorbid major depressive disorder and Bulimia Nervosa I though I would change and consequently my life would change. Reality is a whole lot different. I constantly have suicidal thoughts, high levels on anxiety and extremely low moods.
I find my self in the grips of yet another bad Bulimia time. On a good night I eat dinner once and loose it once, on a bad night I might eat 3 and loose 3. I do it not to be thin but to ease the anxiety and stress and as an avenue for self harm. I am […]
a sum somewhere between 3,000 and 5,000 euro/$ .. what would you do ?
I would fly to Brasil (always wanted to go to South America) and find a way to die there .. the country where I am now, I hate it so much I don’t even want to die in it
what about y’all ?
the coward’s way out, then I’d rather be a smart coward than brave and delusional
ever since I’ve stopped going to college (sept. 2011), I’ve been trying to figure out what I’m supposed to do next, what path to follow .. in vain
but the truth is: a future where I’m glad I’m still alive, where I’ve found a purpose is a self-inflicted lie .. my ego+personality knows that when I die, it will be the end of it and it can’t stand the idea of its own death .. so it would rather fool me into believing there’s still something to gain from, something to accomplish […]
Anyone else going through an abusive/controlled relationship that is trying to get out?! /’:
Despite the positivy i spread, dispite the smile i’m wearing when i leave home, or talk to a friend. Despite my constantly moving forward. Despite the bits of myself I share, the structure and advice i used to give. Despite living through unbeatable odds. Despite it al;l I still would like to die. I do not want to see the pain or happiness of tomorrow, I do not want to see the dog that chases it’s tail, the man that holds the door for his wife, the old couple struggling to walk into a store for food. I do not want to see another […]
～*my legs are dangling off the edge, the bottom of the bottle is my only friend, i think i’ll slit my wrists again and im gone, gone, gone, gone*～
The two things that have kept me pushing threw life are my dogs. Sad isnt it? Scotty and Sky .
Ive had sky for 7 years. Ive had scotty for 3. They where best friends. We where best friends. I cried with them, loved them, played with them. I always turned to them when things got bad. They loved me.
Well Guess what happened on Friday the 6th ? My poor little girl Sky got hit by a car. Shes gone. I dont know what to do or how to feel. Ive never lost anybody close to me before and i gotta tell you, it really hurts. […]
Sometimes I wish I was normal but that’s never going to happen. Life is supposed to get better but I doubt that. All I feel is numbness and it’s better than the pain I felt before. The only thing stopping me from going through with suicide is my best friends wouldn’t be able to handle my death well. My mom stopped caring about me a long time ago but my dad would go crazy without me with him. I refuse to live for myself, I only live for them, although I don’t care about myself, I care too much about others to put them through […]
Tonight, I broke down. It has been almost a month since I began recovering from a yearlong eating disorder that destroyed my life. No therapist, no support from family, just me. It is the hardest thing I have ever done, but I am still going strong. Some moments are good, some are terrible. Tonight was just awful, I couldn’t get myself together. I was sobbing because I lost hope for half a second and I started thinking about everything. I just felt so alone.  I pulled myself together and knew I was going to be okay, sometimes we all fall apart. So at the same […]
I’m Carys, and this is my story. It started back in seventh grade, from January to now. I had recently met a girl, Kristin. We clicked right away and life was good. Until summer. One of my friends from before, Olivia, started acting up a bit. She was quieter, and preferred to stay behind more. I got concerned, but she wouldn’t say anything. Later, I discovered Kristin was a lesbian, and she liked me. I was kind of astonished, and I didn’t know what to think. Eventually, I fell in love with her. At the same time, however, Olivia revealed to me she liked Kristin. […]
I can’t. this isn’t living. This is barely fucking surviving. And I can’t take this anymore. I should’ve done it right the first time or hell even the second time…who knows maybe the third time’s the charm. Fuck! Fuck it all to hell. I can’t even think straight anymore. I just want this to end. it’s time for my pathetic/miserable existence to end
Im so tired. Of everything. Im 16, divorced parents since I was young. Two half sisters. One with a disease which will end her life one day. There’s constant fighting about it. That’s all I ever hear anymore. To make it even better, my little sister talks about how she wants to hurt herself. She got that idea from me, because I’ve gotten caught cutting. Im not good at anything, there’s something wrong with every part of my body. I laugh with my best friend but if we aren’t together im worthless. I disgust myself. And there’s nothing I can do. I want to end […]
Once I had a dream that I had just made an attempt to hang myself and I was looking in the mirror and there was a blue and purple bruise around my neck. A little more than a week ago I made an attempt and I looked in the mirror after I cut the noose off and my face looked awful. My normal coloring didn’t return until a few days later — I had to cover up with makeup and even then it looked bad.
That last attempt was the closest I have ever been to dying. I passed out and my coming to was accidental, […]
it’s been along time since i came on here. I have many reasons why i didn’t come back here for a while. one of them was because on march 7th, just in time something happened. And after that alot more things happened that made that moment- not so unique anymore. for anyone that’s read my posts before, this one is nothing new- still me typing probably not making any sense i just write as i think i guess.
Im stupid in love, not with him, with the idea of what life should be. I expected it to be a certain way by now, and i expect […]
My name is will and im 21 years old, born and raised is leicester-England.
I have been signed up to this site for a long time as i found strength from it, so many people have vented their frustration and the Samaritans or people who have been through and recovered from the same type of problems have ansered….in the past few months i have found streanth in this but now i am fucked.
i m sick of the anxiety i cannot be around people let alone make friends i cut myself daily even though i find it pathetic and stupid.
my dad is a misogynist who beat his wife and kids, which made […]
The thing about my sister, is that she is mean. Not only that, but she doesn’t realize that when she tells people these mean, horrible things, that they are affected by it. That what she says to me, makes me feel worse about myself. How many times have I cut myself over things she said or did to me? Too many. How many pills did I try to overdose on, July 1 2010? Over 40. That same year, I overdosed again on August 23. The second Monday in school. That same year, months earlier, I tied together a bunch of knee high socks, and tried […]
So its coming up really soon that my mom will now be dead for two years. That’s still really hard to think of, i still cry over her and think that i was a shitty daughter to her. I mean if i wasn’t a good daughter why should the fuck should i be a mom or matter of fact even be alive. Why should i continue to be on this earth if i am not with the one person that i miss and love and still need? Yes i am twenty years old and i need to start to be on my own. It kills […]
Wow, you know I never thought I’d say this, but I’m enjoying life. Ive got a boyfriend, but its long distance.. Still though hes wonderful.. Calls me beautiful and always full of compliments.. I got a job, im just.. Relieved things are going so good. Im sort of surprised but its nice. I hope your all doing okay. Please, dOnt give up, find something to occupy yourself with.. Distract yourself, take your meds,eat healthy, excersize. Your all wonderful here.. And I love you all. Thank uou do much for helping me, im glad I didnt take my life like I was going to. […]