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Who am I fooling?
This week has been messed up. No exams for most of it been at school to forget the stress at home. Playing with my friend and we just started kissing….and intense. AM I THAT MESSED UP? Now we are together but i know it will not last…..she will abandon me like everyone else. She makes me smile (havent done that in months) but two girls together in a catholic school….I HAVE GONE MAD it cant work!!!!!!!!!!
Hello, this is my story.
Pre 5/5/2004 I was just a normal person, i had bipolar but i was diagnosed as a child and managed it with hardcore meditation my whole life. Other than that my life was normal. nothing traumatic ever happened to me. I never lost anyone. I was attending college. I had a beautiful girlfriend. I was smart, i had the whole world in front of me.
On the 5/5/2004 i woke up in my GF’s college house, it was cold and i was shivering. I rolled over and Jane was not there. I got up and saw here keys and phone on the […]
hi, i’m katie.c: i’m 14. and i’ve been through a lot..
well where to start..my mom is an alcoholic and drug addict, but she is one of the sweetest ladies alive. i love her to death. my dad..he couldn’t be more mean. he gets really mad and it scares me. last night, it was a minor thing, and he punched to perfect holes in the wall. in january, my mom got so drunk. me and my 10 year old brother were the only ones home at the time and we had to call my dad and he came home. he called 911, my mom had to […]
Sorry if the title was a bit confusing, I had no idea how to write it..
I’ve known about this site for a while now, however I’ve been depressed/considering suicide for longer than I can remember.
I have one person in my life that I feel comfortable talking to; she knows about the depression, self esteem issues etc, however I don’t know how much more to tell her.. There’s no one else I can talk to about this, but at the same time I don’t want to upset her/cause her to talk to someone; I don’t want any future suicide attempts stopped because she got help.
Anyway, I […]
Well, the title says it all.
The pain is becoming unbearable.
They say that people who try to kill themselves are “selfish” and that they don’t think about the others they’ll leave behind.
But have they ever thought how is a suicidal person really feeling?
Of course they haven’t.
The feeling inside my head is starting to become physical.
It’s sort of like nasal congestion.
When you have it, you can’t breathe.
So you either try clearing your nose, or you breathe through your mouth.
But I have the SAME FUCKING FEELING INSIDE MY HEAD!
I’m literally unable to think, speak or feel anymore.
I haven’t really talked with […]
Dead inside for a long time. Years. I want to go, but I can’t yet. Things get worse the longer I wait.
I only just discovered this site today and I’m comforted to see that many people think like I do about this subject. I guess I feel validated in a way…even “normal” in my thought processes about it all. Thank you for that!
I have two previous “attempts.” People said it was (I HATE this phrase) “a cry for help.” Actually I was too stupid to know that the drugs I used wouldn’t kill me and only land me in the hospital, […]
I died. It was no accident. I rented a nice hotel room. Then I swallowed a lot of pills that would dissolve my liver and brain. I cut my arms open, and took enough aspirin that nothing but my failing heart could stop the bleeding. And so I died.
Then I met God. He was everything they show in the movies. A giant of a man, long in years, with a flowing white mane and long gray beard. As for his face, no matter how I tried to look at it, I could never quite see it. And he asked, “Why have you […]
I think this might be the day I do it properly. The only thing that stops me is the love I have for my children. If they didn’t exist this would be so easy. I broke up with my boyfriend three months ago. It’s taken of this long to realise he’ll never come back to me. I left my husband and children for him. I love him so much. I can’t live another day without him.
I tried a new approach to deal with my depression; acknowledging it as a sickness of the mind and body but not anything to do with me personally. I take full responsibility for my past and every action I’ve taken up to this point in life, but the issues slowing me down aren’t my own.
All throughout my life, I’ve been shown the way I should be by the people around me. What I should be doing, the type of things I should study, the work I should go out for, partying and living it up etc etc; so I’ve been conditioned to hate myself […]
Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it’s not hard to fall
When you float like a cannonball
I am writing this not so much so people can comment, but because I know writing it down makes it a little easier and I find it alot easier to show/talk about this to strangers rather than feeling like I’m a nuisance to my friends. Also, I’m just going to stick to the main events, seeing as the others aren’t that important.
Last year I had a suicidal friend. He was like a brother to me and after the first time he told me he felt suicidal, I could tell the signs for the future. When I could see the signs or if he told me […]
People are part of life, family, friends, even unknown people whom we have to talk with if we want to walk through life. Do we really have true friends? have you ever make this question to yourself? Human nature is to be selfish. Friends will let you down, that is a fact. People will always come and go.  That is a fact that we have to accept if we want to feel at least comfortable in life. because I don’t like to use the term “happy”. Happiness is actually an illusion, an illusion that suddenly will become a need. Parents , boyfriend, girlfriend, our friends. Everybody have said […]
I’m 13. My Life Started Spiraling Downhill When I Was In Elemetery School.
5th Grade, I Kept Getting In Trouble In School. 6th Grade I Was Arrested For Running Away, For Vandalism, For Asulting An Officer Of The Law. My Parents Divorced. I Started Smoking, I Was Hanging Around The Wrong Crowd. My Life Was Shit. 7th Grade The Coustidy Battle Came Along, Week To Week With My Father I Never Knew And My Amazing Mother. My Dad Started Getting Abusive, So I Refused To Go Over There. Costidy Battle Again, Only Every Other Weekend Now With Ol’ Daddy Dearest. Still Smoking, Still Getting In […]
I’ve run out of my complaints. Its just when theres no where else to turn I think of my friends on here. At least I know I’m not alone. I hate others are going through the same, but it also gives me ease of mind.. it makes me feel more human.
This is normally the part where I wish you all well, and encourage you all to keep living… However in all reality I envy those who had the courage to end it.. because I wish I had that strength so bad. Especially now.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMGh3Ts5-WQ
Nothing’s the matter,
I swear I’m alright..
This pain’s just a phase
Like drinking and cutting,
Feeling absolutely nothing..
Like a storm, the winds will pass
And the rain will turn to shine
And life will seem worth living
Days will be more enduring
You said everything would be alright
I’ve screamed before
A splendid tantrum fitting of my age
And I did everything to tell you
Of the demons that I face
But you just looked so confused
And said they’d go away..
And I was dragged from the house
Shouting into the night
You just wouldn’t stop crying
Till I told you I was […]
I fell asleep before I could actually do it.. Then I wome up, and my mom was home. I didnt want to take the chance of her walking in and finding me unconcous and calling an ambulance.. She has a couple weeks off from work so.. Im still here. Im such a fuck up, I even fucked my own suicide up.
I am 23 years old. Â I have Depression and Schizophrenia and every day almost everyday I argue with my parents complaining about rejection (social and girlfriend). I am on medicine and I feel like the medicine does not work. I think about rejection and wanting a girlfriend or wife and my parents keep telling me otherwise. I don’t agree with them. I NEED ONE to survive. I need love. Back in my school years no girl would date me and to this date I have never had a girlfriend which I desperately need. Â Everyday keeps getting worse not better. Â I should have never been born […]
I hope that you like it in your little motel
And I hope that the suite sleeps and suits you well
Another year passes and I miss you as much as I ever have. It’s different now than it was, but the scar still remains deep inside. I truly hope that your decision has brought you the peace and freedom that you sought. I still don’t judge you or hold it against you. It’s not my place, nor the place of anyone else, to pass judgement on the validity of your decision to end your own life. It doesn’t mean I support it, but I will never […]
Well its finally official, I’m doing nothing with my life, I can’t even get up outbid my bed to get myself a Heath care card. I need it for when I go to tafe, which is like a college it’s just really shit, and cheap..
Anyway it’s going to cost 1606.00 If I don’t have a health care card, it’ll only be 303 less with one but yeah.
Well anyway, I’ve decided im not going to do this corse because I fail everything I try, and I don’t have the money or motivation at all.
I would rather work until next year and do something […]
I know, it’s probably strange seeing an 11 year old on here. But my mother recently died. My sister hates me and bullies me all the time. I’ve been depressed since November 2011 but no one ever notices. It may be bad if i cut my self but i have done it. I’ve been trying to stop but its hard. I am getting there though. My sister talks to me like i am crap. She acts like i don’t mean anything. But I do. Ever since my mother died it hasn’t been the same. I miss her. I talk to her. I have been bullied […]
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