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My story

  November 25th, 2010 by hoping4better

now that i’ve said “i know the feeling” more times than i can count…i thought i’d share my story.

i originally stumbled across this site because i was tired of trying to make sense of life and like so many others, came here looking for advice on what to do. after reading through some of the stories, i realized i wasn’t alone. so many other people were feeling the same as i was. i wasn’t alone.

my grandmother died on grandparents day when i was younger, which i took very hard. at the time, i was the only grandchild. for so long, whenever she was sick, my …

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  November 25th, 2010 by come_pick_me_up

i will never be free from this hell… free from myself. the pit is deep and im at the bottom. i long for help but pride keeps me from asking. so i wallow in the peace i find in the most base and depraved of places. my rage binds me to my sins. they hold me down, where the monster of my conscience reminds me I AM NOTHING! i scream, for deliverance and beg for forgivness only when i am sure NO ONE IS LISTENING! so the lies carry over. my spirit remains bitter. the flames of dispair unquenched and the pain of …

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i hate me…

  November 24th, 2010 by apexofconfusion

I know I’m lazy but its no excuse for what you do to me. You taunt me and threaten me with something that might actually help me. I’ll ask you this: why do you think I want to die? Of course you don’t know that I want to. You never bothered to ask if I’ve done anything besides cut myself for the past three years. The truth is, I’ve been trying to kill myself for a while now. Most of them were overdoses and letting my blood run free of its lines. But nothing ever happened. Which makes me think that I’m even more of …

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Depressed for no great reasons…

  November 24th, 2010 by KlashingKamille

Ive been depressed for a while, Im 14 years old and done with all the ‘all teenagers go through this phase’ bullshit. Ive gone psychologist to psychologist, from hospital to hospital, and happy pills. Im not depressed for any good reasons. I have a house. I have food. I have clothes. Im for the most part healthy. But i cry over the stupidest things, like how i look.

I was thinking about the fight with my ex-friends that caused me to drop out of school (im considering homeschool or just running away, even ‘therapeutic boarding school’ if we can afford it). I start crying everytime i …

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I think it’s finally time

  November 24th, 2010 by r

Life is still shit 3 years on. No surprises there.

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I think myself to be a man.

  November 24th, 2010 by Devil_man92

I am born a woman but since I was 11 years old I´ve started talking about changing gender, I´ve come out to my parents about it for about 6 months ago. I´ve been trying to fit in all my life with the girls, I wore girl clothes and earings and that kind of stuff and I hated it, but I was bullied alot in elementary school so I didn´t want to be more bullied than I already was. Now I´m 18 and Dress in guy clothes from top to bottom, I´m always wearing a binder for my breasts and I´ve cut my hear off and …

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Help me I’m tired of this.

  November 24th, 2010 by marymary

Hi all.  My story is the same as a lot of yours I think.   I’m in my early 30s and I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety problems for as long as I can remember.  I’ve seen many different therapists and tried different meds and therapies but nothing ever seems to work.  My depression goes up and down and my anxiety and panic does too.  Lately I’ve been having a really hard time and am becoming housebound almost from having such severe panic attacks.  I just feel sick and tired almost every day, all day.  My boyfriend and parents are getting really fed up with me and …

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sometimes the reason you can feel suicidal is as simple as…

  November 24th, 2010 by niki

…knowing that this so-called Real Life/world can never match up your super uber vivid imaginations, fantasy, dreams at night, and also your feelings.

To put it bluntly in other words, this so-called “Real Life/world” sometimes (or often?) doesn’t seem to allow much creativity, imaginations, and high-sensitive feelings.
It can in fact only requires you to be the aggressive, smooth-talking, and most importantly business/money/profit-driven or oriented.
So for the creative or ‘feeling’ type of persons/individuals, it can really seem like a hell lot of dull, bland, boring, “same ol’ same ol” stuff keep REPEATING from a day to another day, which can really at most extreme drives you nuts, …

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God’s will????

  November 24th, 2010 by SoVeryTired

I am completely confused.

My priest and close friend has recently told me that whenever she needs an answer to an important question in her life, she prays and then at random selects a verse from her bible, and it will invariably be a very clear answer. It really works for her, and if she does not like the answer and tries again, it will just say the same thing in a different way, again and again, until she accepts it.

I’ve tried that in the past as well, and it has worked! So today I tried it, with the question whether I will survive this episode …

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  November 24th, 2010 by joonyper

so i have been contemplating suicide for a long time now. I’m 48 years old, bipolar, and single. I have two wonderful children – they are grown-up now. They each live on their own, and gran kids won’t be coming along any time soon, if at all. My parents, especially my mother, really dislike my daughter, for no good reason. they shower all the love on one of their other grand kids, my brother’s daughter, Lizzi. In the family I am oldest. I am the one who they call when things aren’t going well – so i can either fix it or comfort them, or …

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the Short Tale of Rambo Mouse

  November 24th, 2010 by marine105

This story was inspired by ‘life sucks thin u die’ please give her due credit; and for anyone who wants to laugh at a mouse killing some elephants, enjoy!

The Short Tale of Rambo Mouse

Mouse Rambo crouched behind the bushes, staring past the playground in front of him to the extraction helipad, not 400 yards away, awaiting him. He turned his head back to the playground, letting his eyes skip across the four elephants guarding the place. They were armed to the tusks, with razor sharp sticks, keen ears, and the ability to breathe mouse-killing fire.
Rambo reached into his black NAVY-mouse backpack and …

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is there anyone?

  November 23rd, 2010 by lostmaria

I was just wondering ,
if maybe there was someone
from wisconsin on here that has been feeling depressed.
I did want someone to talk to but i hate the feeling of having someone so far away from me.

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Cutting doesnt give me release anymore…what now?

  November 23rd, 2010 by KlashingKamille

Cutting for me used to be the only way that i could release everything through blood. It was like a tidal wave of emotion–gone.
I cut the other day, after being upset over being called crazy by my ex-friends, i know you think its pathetic, but i get set off easily.
I felt nothing but physical pain. Its been happening lately when i cut.
I could feel my flesh tearing open, and nothing. No relief just a waste of blood.
Are there any other ways to get my emotions out? Release?

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  November 23rd, 2010 by nos da

I hate this life. I hate being a woman. I’ve always been different from other girls. The idea of sex disgusts me. I don’t know what I am. I think everything just would have turned out better if I were born male, but there’s no use in even wishing. I’m anorexic, people tell me that I look sick whenever I go out, which is why I don’t do it often. I’ve tried gaining weight, but it’s hard. Most of the time I’d rather just die. People don’t understand why I have so much trouble, I have it so good.

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Damage control?

  November 23rd, 2010 by DiminishingReturns

So, like some others on this board, the only thing that’s prevented my suicide for the last 13 years is my love for my family. For over a decade, I’ve not been living, I’ve been finding ways to exist, to survive for my parents and siblings (I’m 26). At least my parents now have some idea of how I feel, though my brother and sister are unaware. How much, if any, would you reveal to friends/family about your frustration with life before you do something about it? From what I’ve read, it’s the question of “Why?”, and the suddenness of the …

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it only gets worse

  November 23rd, 2010 by sunset

I feel as though I’m not suited for life. I can’t cope with everyday things, I become too stressed and can’t focus. I want things to remain on a steady keel, a steady pace, because I’m scared something will change and I’ll fall apart.

I overdosed when I was 16, I was severely depressed. I spent months in a psychiatric hospital, got better and moved on. But then when I started university, for some reason I can’t move on. The dark, swirling cloud is always looming behind me, ready to strike when I’m least ready for it.

Last week was awful, financial difficulties, uni difficulties – I …

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one thing

  November 23rd, 2010 by lost_soul

there’s only one thing I want in my life: my father to love me.

But I know he doesn’t so there’s no point in living.

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I failed…at suicide

  November 23rd, 2010 by polygon123

When i was a young kid i was very tormented. I tried several times to end my life but i failed. In my last attempt i jumped from the window of our apartment and broke my leg. When i my mom (only parent) looked at me, her face made me sad. Every time i wanted to finish my life her face came to my mind. I just couldn’t do it anymore. For a long time after every night i went to bed hopping not to wake. I just could bare the pain. I hated school at the time. One day i just wanted to forget …

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I’ve opted for the helium hood

  November 23rd, 2010 by damien

Obviously, I have decided to end my life. After previous failed attempts by overdose I have done a lot of research and decided that the ‘helium hood’ method is the best way. So, I have a few questions:-

The helium canister I am planning on getting is 2.31 metres cubed, which is 2310 litres – is this enough?

Will I have to use a regulator?

Any tips on how to ensure this doesn’t go wrong?


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nothing is working

  November 23rd, 2010 by Tory

i am 23. and i cant get this feeling out of me. i feel like i cant stop crying. i wanna die. its like nothing is working out for me and like i have nobody to talk to. i am married- not for very long either, yet it feels like my husband wants nothing to do with me now that we’re married. at work, my boss shouts and swears at me, and i am the only person doing all the admin work- i have constant pains in my neck from all the stress. then when i get home, i have to iron, pack lunch, make …

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