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For general topics related to the site.

I should have expected to be let down…

by Hungry 3/3/2012

written by Hungry

So the only guy i have been able to acutally have a real conversation with just got a girlfriend. Background: i have known this girl for 4 yrs she is a *****. Not because shes hes girlfriend but because she is a evil, hateful,spineless,vain slut. She has had twice many…hmm whats a tastful word…partners?, then i have birthdays, im 17! The guy (lets call him Bernie) is sweet nice smart and ive known him for 3yrs and ive liked him as long as ive known him. About 6 weeks ago we talked for 4 hrs and i was actually thinkimg of telling him about […]

3/3/2012 8 comments

What else is new?

by supern0vaa 3/3/2012

written by supern0vaa

Forever not being able to sleep and having nothing better to do then rant on the internet.
I feel like death because of almost everyone I know and no one has ever bothered to ask me what was wrong.
I’ve been like this for 3 years. It’s not a pleasant feeling, as most of you probably know.
I need to stop putting people before me and concentrate on my own well being for once, but I don’t think that will ever happen.
I am too concentrated on making me more socially acceptable. Even if that means less eating, and changing myself far too much.
I […]

3/3/2012 3 comments

Anybody awake?

by Hungry 3/3/2012

written by Hungry

Anyone up who wants talk …cant sleep :/

3/3/2012 20 comments

i dont remember the last time

by emptyblackhole 3/3/2012

written by emptyblackhole

i smiled or even laughed and was truly really happy

i fried my brain with drugs and alcohol

i’m 20 years old

i’m a burden to my mother

i recently lost my job

i got the helium tank and exit bag ready…just need the guts to finally do it theres no way i can stand to be here any longer

i’m a waste of space

3/3/2012 6 comments

Is this my pennance?

by anon1992 3/3/2012

written by anon1992

So many talk about friends and girlfriends being the reason for wanting to kill themselves. Not me. I have few friends just people i see every few months. Ive never been on a date or been real with anyone. I just act happy all the time because its expected of me. A few weeks ago my closest (which isnt saying much) friend told me that another was in therapy and proceeded to make fun of him for it. How do you even respond to that? All i want is someone to be close with. Perhaps this is my punishment. For so long I was the […]

3/3/2012 1 comment

Voices/Dreams

by RogueShadow1281 3/3/2012

written by RogueShadow1281

I had a dream on Wednesday, well more of a nightmare. I used to have that nightmare ever since I was very young. It was about voices. I never knew what they said, but their tone of voice was angered, even disappointed. They hate me, and I asked them why, but then on Wednesday night, after everyone slept, I laid in bed. I heard a long continuous beep and then the nightmare began.

Only, I hadn’t fallen asleep…

Those voices, which may as well be a replay of my dreams all the events that happened in that dream, every one of those nights replayed in my […]

3/3/2012 6 comments

Have you everâ€¦

by sidadd 3/3/2012

written by sidadd

Have you everâ€¦

Laid on your bed at night and just cried?

Cried because youâ€™re stupid, because you just arenâ€™t good enough.

Cried harder when youâ€™ve counted all your flaws from head to toe, to the point where youâ€™re in so much pain, physical pain feels better.

Cried because the things your friends tell you or call you sarcastically actually hurt sometimesâ€¦

Cried because your family is dysfunctional, but youâ€™re just a kid who canâ€™t do shit about it.

Cried as they tell you to stop feeling sorry for yourself when a lot of people have it worse than you.

Cried because you donâ€™t want to be a burden and contribute to […]

3/3/2012 11 comments

Depression…

by Unknown_Schizophrenic 3/3/2012

written by Unknown_Schizophrenic

I sit here and all I feel is pain
wanting to cut and make my wrists rain
make them rain with blood. I get no love
I sit in my room all alone, me and my pain
pain is all I feel, pain is all I know
Noone will ever know how I feel, or what Im going through
when you smile and laugh, but you know it’s just a show
Im the only one to blame for a meaningless life
so I sit in my room alone, just me and this knife
not wanting to take my life, just leaving a lifetime scar
a […]

3/3/2012 1 comment

drunk and ugh.

by evildandelions 3/3/2012

written by evildandelions

I hate being alone all the time. Â Especially now. Â I’m kind of drunk, so I’m actually kind of in a good mood. Â Well, good might be a bit of an overstatement, but it’s like I can pretend to be okay and I just wish there was someone to hang out with me and be silly drunk with. Â Bonus points if they’re a cute girl I can make out with. Â Haha.

I miss having friends. Â Real friends. Â Even if one of my (so-called) friends called me right now, it still wouldn’t be the same. Â I haven’t seen them a long time. Or even really talked to […]

3/3/2012 1 comment

I have A goal…

by CheeseFace94 3/3/2012

written by CheeseFace94

Dear ALL,

I have a goal, that I think all of you MAY be able to help me with. When I graduate next year, I plan on becoming a psychiatrist. And I know what you’re all thinking, probably. “Oh, I’ve been to plenty psychiatrists. They don’t help me any.” If this is what you’re thinking, I just want you to hear me out. I want to be a psychiatrist not for the money. But because of what I have went through, and what I have been going through. I have been through most of what you all have been through, and I want to be able […]

3/3/2012 1 comment

What to do…i can’t bear the Shame!!!!

by Honi 3/3/2012

written by Honi

In my whole life of 21 years, i have been a loser only throughout my life, my mom-dad loves me a lot, and i have never been able to make them happy, i just want to make them happy and give everything to them, they have sacrificed a lot for me, and i am such a loser, i could never give them what they wanted, th only thing they wanted from me to get good marks throughout my schooling and college days, which i never could, i have already wasted huge amount of money, more than $10,000 on coachings and education, now the ultimate thing […]

3/3/2012 1 comment

Finally

by Jmo 3/3/2012

written by Jmo

finally!! goodbye.

3/3/2012 1 comment

My Permanent State of Being Wrong

by QuixoticNomad 3/3/2012

written by QuixoticNomad

Apparently everything I feel is wrong. What I feel towards her is all wrong. It isn’t love that I feel towards her, but something else entirely that is unknown to me. Is it obsession? So be it. Because it is only obsession, even when she and I were in and relationship what I was feeling towards her was wrong because what I felt then is what I feel now. Only, now the added weight of missing her has been added to the mix. But, wait. I can’t miss her because what I feel is wrong. So, I don’t miss her. And if I don’t miss […]

3/3/2012 3 comments

thank you all so much

by Telizabeth 3/2/2012

written by Telizabeth

3/2/2012 1 comment

WHY!

by JPR 3/2/2012

written by JPR

I dont know what else to do he loves me but doesnt love me. I love him and i want him it has been over a year an a half i should be over him right i dont think so i love him and i always will he was everything i wanted and looked for in a guy and i lost that. i just us again the laughing the happiness. im tierd of being depressed everyone can see the pain. he says he loved me and he wants me but the girl he was with he loved her too they broke up and what about […]

3/2/2012 1 comment

The cycle repeats

by Disease 3/2/2012

written by Disease

I’ve lurked here for quite a while now. I’ve spent the last few years suffering on and off with “depression”* of increasing regularity and severity. I came out of my last depression only 2 weeks ago and now it’s starting up again. Every down is getting longer than the respite preceding it and I don’t want to live like that. Tonight was the first time it hit me while out and about. One minute I was sitting down with a drink actually trying to enjoy myself and the next I was punching the shit out of a wall because I was suddenly overwhelmed. I don’t […]

3/2/2012 3 comments

Lost In my thoughts

by Unknown_Schizophrenic 3/2/2012

written by Unknown_Schizophrenic

Every now and then I catch myself getting lost in my thoughts.Â I know Im not the only one, but at times I feel that I do it more than some. My paranoia will kick in, I start getting lost in the thoughts, and ideas that it brings. I catch myself thinking that this and that are true, but deep down I KNOW that they are NOT true. This has gotten worse within the past couple of years. I know that the thoughts I have are not true, but I often think what if that is, what if that will happen? When this first occured […]

3/2/2012 0 comment

its come to this…

by deathcon1 3/2/2012

written by deathcon1

So I’ve never actually thought Fuck it Im going to reach out and talk about this because its just not a normal thing to do…then again nothing ever feels normal in my world and when I do express normal behaviour I feel its so put on and faked to everyone around me that they can see right through me and thus treat me different from each other. For years I’ve always kind of known I had serious pshycological issues and suicidal thoughts caused by a horrible upbringing and attempted to take my own life before I went to university. I failed….didn’t know how to o/d […]

3/2/2012 1 comment

Tonight is too much for me, To get through, Tomorrow’s just a darkened hall, To an empty room, When I’m far away from you….

by Nat.... 3/2/2012

written by Nat....

Im so depressed. This week has been shit. And the worst part was it was all little things that have made me think about how good that shiny piece of sharp metal would look in my wrist.

1. School stuff- things about a crappy tattoo portfolio and being called wierd and having something taken away from me? which is quite confusing.

2. Maths exam- ah…exams. doesn’t everyone love them? espicially those with OCD who are terrified to write in pen and hate the thought of people staring at her because her seat was quite near the front.

3. i not long ago dropped my iPod touch in the […]

3/2/2012 7 comments

Huh.

by Anon141 3/2/2012

written by Anon141

So, I’ve never kidded myself about my life, or in this case, death. I’m not concerned with proving to myself I matter to someone, and I’m not just being a drama Queen. I’m not doing this because of aÂ high schoolÂ romance or because my Daddy won’t get me a newÂ Ferrari What I feel isn’t really even sadness or anger. In fact, I rarely even talk to anyone about my problems, and most people think I’m anÂ optimist.

I just feel an unbearable blankness bearing down on me all the time. Knowing that I am nothing. My grades have dropped, and I can feel people’s expectations of me dropping, […]

3/2/2012 2 comments

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