General

so i called a suicide helpline today when i was down. We talked, they had me promise to call back, i did, we made a deal, i would go to a crisis center later today and get some help.

So i finally get to sleep and at 2am cell phone, private number. The helpline called the cops, told them to pick me up and take me to the hospital

So i just spent an hour explaining to this cop that no i’m ok, i got a plan, talked to a social worker, going to a crisis center.

Had to turn my phone off to get rid of him.

I […]

Here I am once again. I keep telling myself “I’m going to post here everyday. Im going to keep going. I will survive” Ect ect. But. Not with whats going down now…Lost my job. No more income. Supposed to be out of my place by Jan 7th..but i have nowhere to go. Lost someone close…but she doesn’t matter anymore,told myself to forget. People tell me it will be okay. SHE told me it would be okay. Thats BS. How is one supposed to think shit will be okay,with the inevitable? Jan 7th. thats my deadline. If i can’t find a job,can’t find somewhere to go…I’m […]

I’m in my 30s. I’ve been depressed my entire life; my first memories are as early as 2 or 3, of me standing in my crib screaming my head off, wondering why my mother won’t come to me. But neither my mother nor my father ever really did. They managed to care and provide for me very well, and still be emotionally negligent and abusive. Even now, I have the emotional development of a 15 yr old. Waiting, always waiting. Lingering and hovering around my mom – I live with her now – hoping for an opportunity to sit with her, be with her, even […]

Birthdays are so much fun. I had the best birthday ever. Yeah, it was great.

I guess it actually wasn’t that bad. I was sick all day, but I got some nice gifts, had a lovely dinner with my family (minus brother) and didn’t run into any fights or issues. But at the same time, it was brutal. My insides feel like they need to come out. It’s been like this for a few days now. I can’t eat. It’s almost painful. But I’m not “sick”. It’s not an upset stomach or the flu, it’s impossible to explain. It just feels like my body is telling […]

It seems here are a lot of good people here, each with there own difficulties but often trying to help others, which i find interesting and very positive.

Why doesn’t everyone just list and then at their own discretion add each other to email or msn etc so they can talk more regularly when and if they need to. Electronic Communications can be a wonderful thing. Try be positive with each other, even in the face of adversity.

Life is not perfect, it’s how we handle adversity that defines us most. I like the idea of grace under pressure. Few can do it. Everyone is going to […]

Please do not think suicide is an option. There are so many ways to cope when going through a crisis. Ever since my friend died, I have dedicated the rest of my life to helping spread my story.

RIP JP-

I cant do this anymore, suicidal thoughts have come back and they are as strong as ever….

In two weeks time I have to return to school, and I’m terrified at that though, it’s such a simple thing that nearly everybody does but I don’t want to…. I have exams coming up so I’m stressed about that and the OCD doesn’t help…..

Suicide is the only way to end this pain……<3

So for a very long time ive been really depressed. about a year ago i became suicidal. 6 months ago i tried killing myself with pescription pain killers. 4 months ago i finaly started to feel better, still bad but i wanted to live. over christmas break ive done nothing, no one cares about me, no one wants to hang out. ive felt so worthless and empty. and today i just woke up and i couldnt stand life. ive just sat in my bed all day, crying and feeling really suicidal again. i was about to call my x and see if she wanted to […]

You’ve got to be kidding…..perfect time, perfect place, perfect plan……perfect noose…….

Then wtf went wrong??? I did everything right. Everything…..then why did the rope break??? Why? Why? WHY? I can’t do this. I can’t keep living like this. Cutting won’t numb this pain, Burning won’t numb this pain…..

I have failed at everything…..at life. Why? somebody please. Please help me