General

I used to be suicidal. I guess I’m not anymore, but I still have thoughts about it. I’m the oldest of four. I had a half brother bt he’s in prison…i call it abandonement. He was the failure to my parents, so they take his mistakes and are always extra careful with me. I can never be my self around them. I always feel like a dirty little ungrateful liar. I hate it.
Everybody tells me I’m so pretty. I look in the mirror everyday and see this pathetic, ugly loser who hides who she is, but doesnt know how to reveal her true self. […]

I”m sick and tired of living this shitty life: no g/f, better jobs are worthless to come by, etc. NO ONE CARES PERIOD!

Where do I start…

Well my attitude is never consistent with regards to whether I’m cool, pissed, despressed etc…It’s always oscillating.

Even though no one can know who I am on here, I still feel awkward stating what my problem is…. (YES, I DIAGNOSED MYSELF)

Suicide thoughts whirl around my head once in a while but were very rampant from Sept 2010.

Actually i’m confusing myself right about now… I dunno

I don’t know where people get the courage to actually go that far anyway. I’m too much of a ***** to attempt it, whether it being ODing to hanging or whatever…

Self-harming is a no go area for me aswell… If I did […]

The marks on my arms
the needle in my hand.
The ugly stabs
that was on the tip.
I must hide away
I must fade somewhere.
The rules i must exceed
to be perfect.
In the eyes of others
i’m coated with make up
the long sleeves i wear
i hide no cuts.
The poison i inject
in my body
it is not drugs
that wears out my body
that flows in my veins
as it crease into my body.
I didn’t pass out from the needles
it was what i had become
it was the need to be perfect
It was the need from […]

Who on here is suicidal and living in Ireland?? I seem to have come across a few so far….

I don’t know who I am, I never really knew who I was. But i know I’m tired of myself & I’m only 15..maybe these years have just been too long for me. There are few who know about me, my depression for three years & my struggles with eating disorders. That doesn’t matter though, they don’t actually know me, they just know about me.
It all started in grade 7, I took a firm glance into the mirror & wanted to cry. I was straight up ugly, I was chubby & i wore glasses & to myself I looked like an orphaned monkey. That […]

Hi all, I’m new to this site. I was led here from another site about suicide. So I started reading through some of the posts on here and found I could relate to so many of them. I decided to post my ramblings. I apologize in advance if this is extremely long. I just want to get out what’s been bottled up for a while now.

I’m only 20 years old and I feel like a failure. Like I have no real future. Like my life has no purpose. Recently, I’ve been thinking about suicide. About a month ago I took a walk and not too far […]

When people close to us know or sense that we are suicidal they feel so helpless to stop it

They just stop texting, calling, eamiling,

It has to be painful for them, waiting for, yet never wanting to receive that knock on the

door, or have look out there window and see a squad car turning in.

They know that they will be hearing of our death.

Its too much for them too bare, so the fear keeps them from staying in contact, like a self protection

mode.

My dreams are the only things that keep me alive, that give me the strength
to move forward, that give me a purpose to move on and that shines light on to the path i choice.I will not move or breakdown when you push me, its what i want, its my life and i don’t live to please you, so know when your unwanted

So I kind of have a plan of what I’m going to do.
My life is worthless just sitting around, working my crappy retail job and not being able to pay my bills. I really want to go back to school and get a degree in something, but I don’t have the money, or the grades to get a scholarship.
So, I’ve decided to join the army or army reserve. That way, I can go to school, I’ll have a place to live, I’ll go through fat camp and boot camp so I won’t be such a fatass anymore, I’ll have a job which […]

So I am 24 years old, I am 14 000$ in dept, only have a highschool education seeing as I dropped out of college twice now. I am unemployed and soon to be homeless as of February 1st. I have been trying to find a job to try and get some money going so I can get an apartment but it is seeming impossible, not even getting call backs. I have decided that I have pretty much made enough mistakes in my life that its getting near the irreversible point and am looking to end my life in as painless a way as possible. I […]

It seems that we are all over the world, and when I’m on the site

there is a flurry at different times of the day.

What part of the world are you in ?

Fuck it. It’s going to happen anyway. (Soon. After the hoilday’s) It will end. (me). So do i feel sad.? (yes) but i can not live like this. I’m hate in this.
I’m not here for this.
If i’m not enjoy in this.

All fled all done so lift me on the pyre.
The feast is over and the lamps expire

This was an effective tool for me when I hit rock bottom. Everyday I woke up in the morning it was hard getting out of bed and I’d feel like shit.  http://i.imgur.com/zoH3R.jpg

i find myself waking up places i dont remember getting to. in situiations any normal 16 year old shouldnt be in. in the back of a car going 120 on a freeway with a person you dont know driving. i black out (and im not on drugs) and just wake up. idk whats going on. i think im going insane

hey im new here, but ive lately realized that i dont believe in god… ever since this has happened, ive been staying up at night unable to fall asleep shaking and thinking about death. this has been going on about every other night for about a month… i know its sort of strange but ive lately considered killing myself just to make it stop… its horrible the sorts of things i think about when im like that…

Hey it’s me broken. I haven’t been on here in months. I doubt anyone remembers me. I don’t recognize any body from when I was here. Just wanted to say hello and that no matter what you need to smile. Cause once you reach that point of total darkness and your right about to break well that’s the moment you can be free but only if you try hard.