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General

For general topics related to the site.

I don’t know what I want anymore…

by amberhaha 12/7/2011

written by amberhaha

I get depressed, so I try to get all the negative outta my life, so I stop talking to my cousin. I feel lost. Start talking to her again. I don’t know what I want. I want out of here. But then again I wanna stay alive. I want to be happy, but honestly, I do not think there is any reason to be a live. We try so hard to get a good job and have all these nice things and for what? We are gonna die anyways and when we do we won’t care if we had an iPhone or a flip phone. […]

12/7/2011 1 comment

Emptiness

by neilalwayswins 12/7/2011

written by neilalwayswins

It’s funny how everything in life seems so pointless when ultimately you die. I’ve become so detached from life that I rarely feel anything anymore. I want to feel alive and happy like I used to where I could smile and have reason to. I’ve lost my job, friends, family and even my girlfriend. I am a pathetic failure with no success in my life. I used to believe that there is something good in this world, that there is a God who loves us and protects us, that human decency will prevail. I was wrong…so wrong. This depression has taken away more years of […]

12/7/2011 5 comments

frusterated…

by itsmytimetogo 12/6/2011

written by itsmytimetogo

Lately I have been very frustedated at everything. Like every little noise or unneccissary movement ticks me off. And I feel like I wanna punch them in the face to make them stop. I’m being a ***** to a lot of people. I’m not trying to on purpose but that’s just the way it comes out I can’t help it. I really do not get why I’m like thIs. Ill fo throught periods of time when I’m fine and then times where I’m supEr frusterated at everything around me. Maybe I’m bipolar???? That would be weird. I don’t know what to really do right now […]

12/6/2011 3 comments

I’m Done. Officially.

by beautifully_broken 12/6/2011

written by beautifully_broken

You probably opened this, thinking it was me being done with life, but it’s the exact opposite. I’m done with feeling this way. It’s a choice, I believe. I’m not going to let lies from other people define who I am. I AM BEAUTIFUL. and I WAS CREATED FOR A REASON. Sure, I am broken. Who isn’t? But, we’re all beautifully broken. And I’m embracing that. I’m going to live so I can change the world for someone else. I’m going to live so I can help someone who felt the way I did just hours ago. I’m going to love people the way I’ve […]

12/6/2011 5 comments

i won’t say this out loud

by secrets 12/6/2011

written by secrets

Im 18 years old and i question my life everyday. My depression gets ahold of me, and it doesn’t let go. It gets into my mind and i go crazy with these thoughts. My depression gets so bad sometimes there isn’t a moment i don’t think about killing myself. Don’t tell me i have my whole life ahead of me, i know i do. I don’t know how much more of this life i can take. Sometimes i wonder if all these people that surround me know im on the verge of tears most days. I feel like i don’t have anyone to talk to.. […]

12/6/2011 5 comments

My boyfriend

by suicidalbarbie 12/6/2011

written by suicidalbarbie

My current source of joy. Zach

12/6/2011 4 comments

if there really is a such thing as hope…

by unstable 12/6/2011

written by unstable

I missed you guys yesterday. As tragically ironic as this is, these posts give me a small ounce of hope that I don’t get anywhere else, from anyone else. It gives me that tiny bit of strength to get up and decide if I want to live today. I don’t feel like I’m alone in the world when I’m on here. I hate feeling alone…and although I have a family and a significant other, I still feel lost and desperate in this cold world, even when I’ve had a “good” day, it still doesn’t feel good enough. My smile is only temporary…its inevitable that it […]

12/6/2011 2 comments

This is one side of me…

by amberhaha 12/6/2011

written by amberhaha

I figured it out, I have at lest three sides to me. In my mind, I have three little voices in my head. And at random times, one is louder than the others. Well right now is the side that wants to die, but won’t let my self do it. Other times it’s the happy me. The me I like. I’m happy when I’m around people more. The third side, oh god, is the side that gets louder at night…
Well I’m going to try a few more things to help get me outta this personal hell I’ve created for my self. I’m going to […]

12/6/2011 0 comment

How do you want to feel….

by nick_tann 12/6/2011

written by nick_tann

Me, I just want to remember what happiness feels like…

12/6/2011 1 comment

My brother killed himself

by bethany 12/6/2011

written by bethany

My brother killed himself when he was 23….almost 10 years ago. The pain of his loss is excruciating. I miss him so much.

12/6/2011 4 comments

the happy people

by alone85 12/6/2011

written by alone85

so here i am again

couple weeks go by and i think i am better than this site Â ( i’m not like those people)

but i am

or i’m worse

have absolutely no idea why i just cannot shake this

i see now its definately not a phase

maybe i am being repayed for my sins in a previous life

no one understands me

no one — and i mean NO one knows the real me

just me and God i guess

sitting here with tears in my eyes again , my heart is so heavy

all i want to do is cry and drink myself into a deep sleep

and i hate drinking

hate feeling drunk

wish i […]

12/6/2011 4 comments

Jugular experiences

by jguerra 12/6/2011

written by jguerra

Anybody had an experience by trying to commit suicide cutting your jugular? or had a close person who ended their lives this way? Can you share those experiences with me? I am planning on taking my own life this way. I have heard it is faster than cutting my arms.

12/6/2011 7 comments

My early morning thoughts

by porphyrous 12/6/2011

written by porphyrous

I wake up.Â I look at the clock.Â It’s 5:30 AM.Â My wife is asleep.Â My daughter has, at some time during the night, crawled into bed with us.Â My mother is out asleep on the couch.Â My head is ringing slightly, my neck and shoulders are tight, my stomach is tight to the point of nausea.Â I stare at the ceiling trying not to move.Â How can I get out of this bed without waking anyone, and slip downstairs to the garage?Â I know there’s a heavy duty extension cord sitting on the workbench.Â Nobody has picked it up and hidden it away yet.Â […]

12/6/2011 6 comments

A random thought (inspired by SuicideKillMe’s post, “You Saw”).

by LiveNoLonger 12/6/2011

written by LiveNoLonger

This is just a random thing I thought of while walking past her in school today. This is inspired by SuicideKillMe’s post, “You Saw.” It is an amazing post & I highly recommend that you read it.

You walk by you and you look at me, not even caring about the strong friendship we once had and not even trying to bring it back. You notice that I have no friends, yet you don’t try to reach out to me to become my friend. You look at me, right in the eyes but you say nothing. You know I was right when I said that […]

12/6/2011 13 comments

by Saddistraction 12/6/2011

written by Saddistraction

I Feel So Weird, Like A Zombie Or Something,Â I Finally Got The Courage, And Finally Told Someone Everything, Well Mostly Everything, There Are SOme Things Im Keeping To The Grave.Â Im Getting The Help I Need, But I Regret It, Im Sitting Waiting For The CAMHS(Child And Adolecent Mental Health Service) Crisis Team, And All I Can Think Is What The F**k Have I Done This For, Im Never Gunna Have The Chance Again, So Im Gunna Have To Go Thorugh All Of The Councelling Again, I Guess Its A Good Thing, Because I Know That Death Isn’t Really What I Deep Down Want, But It […]

12/6/2011 5 comments

Let’s try to explain this, once again.

by amberhaha 12/6/2011

written by amberhaha

Bare with me here, I have no idea how to explain this. I have tried to explain it to close friends and family and they all think they know how to help and start giving me all this attention then I feel more like crap. I honestly think this has more to do with depresstion. I think I’m legitimately insane. This isn’t me talking out of my a** either. I one second am happy as can be then the next I’m in tears then the next, oh god, I’m at the virge of killing my self. I have these horrible horrible thoughts about how I’m […]

12/6/2011 3 comments

39- Same age as my father

by Iris 12/6/2011

written by Iris

My father jumped to his death when he was 39. I didn’t understand it then.Â I mean he still had half his life to live. How could he just leave us like that?

Now I’m 39 and I still have half my life to live and I finally understand.

I got married later in life. I never felt the need to attach myself to a person. Sure I dated but I never met anyone who I could love unconditionally.Â Then I met my husband. I can honestly say he has the most beautiful heart I have ever known.Â For two years I knew happiness with him. I […]

12/6/2011 3 comments

Almost lost him…

by thehelper 12/6/2011

written by thehelper

My boyfriend became suicidal when I was dating him. He thought that without his grandfather, he would never be happy again. That one small thing, like losing his grandpa made him suicidal. But to him, it was not small. He started cutting himself. He started burning himself. He chased me down the street with a bottle and then attempted to hang himself on a tree outside his house. Of course, I couldn’t watch him do it. The next week it got worse, he blacked out and started going crazy. He had two knives and was on top of his house, looking down at me and […]

12/6/2011 3 comments

I don’t even know anymore.

by beautifully_broken 12/6/2011

written by beautifully_broken

I really don’t.
It just feels like life is getting too hard.
It’s too hard to please other people.
It’s too hard to please myself.
I can’t do anything right.
No one wants me here.
It’s like they hate me.
And I can’t say I blame them.
I hate me too.
I would always turn my feelings off when I hit this point.
But now that doesn’t work.
Burning doesn’t work.
Nothing does.
But I don’t want to quit.
I’m still here. Somewhere.
Right?

12/6/2011 6 comments

Plea for help

by TrippingOut 12/6/2011

written by TrippingOut

Okay, so I have to admit something. I talk big, I act tough, but deep down, I just want to die.

I don’t know why I feel like this. I have friends, life is good. it just feels so empty, so meaningless. I don’t understand. I’m not depressed, I’m not taking any medications, and I have plenty of sunlight. I just…. I don’t get it.

If you feel this way, or maybe know how to help, any advice would be… well, better than this.

I cant tell my parents, so dont say that.

12/6/2011 4 comments

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