For general topics related to the site.
Binge…
Oh how you conrupt me.
Oh how you always do this to me.
Why must you let me be
the way i am.
You really are…
destorying more of my life
thank you
just thank you.
For general topics related to the site.
Binge…
Oh how you conrupt me.
Oh how you always do this to me.
Why must you let me be
the way i am.
You really are…
destorying more of my life
thank you
just thank you.
I start a new school on Monday and I’m a couple of weeks late. I’m going to Year 10 (I’m in England) and I’m really nervous. I keep crying, I probably have the lowest self-esteem in the world and I have a scary feeling that it’s leading to a disorder. I look in the mirror and cry every single day. I can’t look people in the eye except the people I live with.. (for example) If I go shopping I tend to look on the floor, rather than in front of me, I tend to avoid asking for help or going to crowded isles, I’d […]
I sloped up again. Thad maybe….five times this week…but, it didn’t bleed out. It’s deep but no blood. The noe thing that’s always made me feel alive was cutting…..now I’m not sure what to think….
I’ve been sick all day, the usual digestive issues(I get bad IBS symptoms). Even focusing on getting better depresses me because I know that deep down, I don’t want to get better. That kind of thinking just makes me feel worse and worse until I spiral out of control and do something foolish like pray to god for mercy or something.
The last few times I’ve come here to vent or just read comments, I’ve felt my sadness slwly start to lift. I don’t think I’m hopeless; I can be happy. I just feel so opposite to everyone around me. No one seems to care about anything […]
have you ever gotten that feeling where you need to turn your mental pain into physical pain. so you slash away your skin. you hide it from people because you want to be normal for once inyour life but no matter how hard you try, you always end up being two different people. Theirs the person you are in a crowd of people, and theirs the person you are when ur experiancing the bite of the blade. Cutting is no longer because it helps you deal with your mental illness…its because its an outles, its how you cope. It’s what makes you able to actually […]
I keep running away from myself. I don’t want to think, because if I start thinking, I start going over how fucked up I feel despite leading such a great life.
I don’t know why I’m close to snapping. I never thought I was free from these thoughts. I keep holding on tightly to my feelings, because if I let go, I’m going to do something I’m not sure I’d regret. But I thought I’d get better if I stay away. But I haven’t. And it’s just festering all these months.
Thing is, I don’t want anybody to help me, so nobody ever ever knows. The hardest […]
Today is my birthday and I feel 66 years old. Im only 24 now. I dont want to gain another year but I dont know if Ill have a chance to do it. Oh well.
According to the site I was just on, I am Manic, Depressed, bipolar and borderline, all of which are sever.  But hey, I’m only showing symptoms of early schizophrenia. “Woo”
Everything was fine, I was having the time of my life, and then I snapped. All that you said was you’d be by for your stuff this weekend, and I lost it. Everything  crashed on top of me. I couldn’t hold out any longer.
I’m sick. Â I have tried for 6 years after getting my diagnosis(es) of auto immune disease which causes crippling pain, to deal with this, to try to be as normal as possible, to engage in socializing as much as I can, but my boyfriend told me tonight that I should not tell people that I am sick. Â People ask, and that’s why I tell. Â They see me struggling to get around, to deal with pain, and they inquire as to what is wrong. Â When I try to be accepting of my fate, and rent a scooter at a theme park, he admits that he is […]
So,I could blather on here about my depression (2+ yrs) my empty,pathethic,useless life,and listen to people patronizing me and feeding me lines like “take a walk and be at one with nature” or “reach out and talk to someone” etc etc etc. Im not here to get into that bull. People are reading this because they are depressed and absorbed in theor own stories, or other people want to feel pious and try to “save a life. So lets just skip over that crap and let me say what I want to say.
Here is my rationale about suicide,in general. Some may agree,some not,but its based […]
I will sew your eyes shut so you cant see my pain.
I will cover your ears so you cant hear my screams.
I will bind your hands so you cant touch my heart.
I will push you away so i wont steal your warmth.
I will open your eyes so you can see it’s to late.
I will uncover your ears so i can tell you im sorry.
I will unbind your hands so you can check for a pulse.
I will hold you tight as i die and hope you can finally be happy.
Ya I understand shes scared of me cuz shes afraid im do somethin to myself bcuz she sayz itz over but she dnt really mean itt. I cant change the past of what I did before. The 1st time idid it i waz serious but not bcuz of her bcuz of my best guy friend :/.. i waz so hurt once i found out wat he said. Alot can change in a year I never thought iwuld evr evr have thoughtz bout hurtin myself but ido bcuz ido feel lik mayb she iz forced to be wit me 🙁 I love her and will alwayz […]
This pain is inevitable.
Im afraid it will never go away, it’s getting worse everyday. Im really conflicted to ignore the pain and work really hard to get my life on track or just to go through with a painful death. Either way pain is endorsed
The drugs and booze used to take the pain and horrible feeling away mommentarly, which help me compose myself sadness in public. I got out with my friends i dont want fo bring anyone down or annoy anyone with my empty sadness. Well blaze 🙂 ill be Numb for a few minutes but […]
are they reality or fiction. r they gay or broken. we all live each others live living all lives forever. yay you get to be everyone. arent you excited? look at someone and imagine being that life. even objects. imagine being made to live all possibilities all options of how life can go. believe it or not…. victims eternal.
With thoughts of the past i close my eye’s and fall asleep.
The sound of nothingness calms the crushing sea of sadness in my soul.
The final escape from thoughts that i will carry to grave.
My dreams of a better tomorrow swiftly turn to nightmares.
It seems that the sickness has found my final refuge where i store my depleted hope.
The many pieces of my heart that i wish i could take back.
Alone is where i live, The tears i shed my companions.
My companions never leave for long so i can’t understand why im so alone.
My life has taken a dramatic change for the worse recently… It’s my own fault, but none-the-less it is hard… Harder then anything iv ever experienced… When my life changed, I suddenly found myself alone… Not just without the love that i so deeply desire, but… Without anyone… Why do poeple say that you must learn to be happy on your own before you can learn to love someone else? If you took a couple that was deeply in love, who had both learned previously to be happy on their own, and then tore them apart… It’s not like they would suddenly know what to […]
Just stumbled across this forum and read a few of the posts, and for some reason felt “inspired” to share some of my thoughts. I guess I find it relieving to read other people’s dark thoughts when I spend so much time with my own thoughts of that caliber. Hopefully some of you can get the same sense of relief out of reading this.
Most people would probably say that I have no reason whatsoever to feel depressed, misanthropic or hollow. At the age of 24 I’ve added many job merits to my resume, I come from a loving home, I’m athletic and buff, I live […]
I just took enough pills to kill milwaukee and you assholes want a fuckin letter
i feel like just another sob story whats the point of talking about the past. my councilers say it makes u feel beter me it only brings up old pain. im Carla my biological mom had me in high school. then she had my brother out of high school. my dad was never around. some say i wouldve died if it hadnt been for my greatgramma. she died a couple years after i turned 6. my mom was a junkie her suplier was her boyfriend my oldest sisters dad. he hit her and me and my brother. one time when he was drunk he took […]
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