General

Can You imagine, yesterday i saved 16 people, but today seems like nobody can help me. Feels like i give up. I have lots of money problems and i feel so weak and tired, that keeping alive just coz of people who loves me, even they cant help me.

Im in a bottom. No more power. Exhausted. Can’t fight. Can’t die. Can’t stand up. But also can’t give up.

Closing my eyes and going through it blinded.

Blinded to see the world, truth or dreams.

My religion also obliges me into this blindness. If i will fuck up everything here i will come back to this shit on next […]

A chance has presented itself

this maybe my last chance to say goodbye to the world

I haven’t been here long but it’s nice to know that I’m not alone since many people here have similar experiences with me

I guess I’ll opt out first 😀

See you guys when I see you again

Quote from this thing i wrote about my beliefs on my computer:

‘Sometimes i’m wondering though, if this is all just an alien experiment and everyone else is in on it and i’m the only ‘human’ here. Maybe i created this world with my mind and it’s all in my head, maybe i’ll find out when i’m dead.’

Goodbye

Anyone get the hint?

They say that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. But what if your problem isn’t temporary? What if you have depression or an illness or whatever for years and it will never ever go away?

Beautiful but far away.∑>

So this time ive really done it. I got caught smoking weed in my dorm. Before everyone jumps on me, i really thought i could get away with it since i was the only damn person on my floor over break. My dad keeps saying that with all the other troubles in my life he would disown me if i fucking screwed up again. I spent almost 1400 dollars in 4 months on weed and was caught by my parents. Even though it was my money they were seriously disappointed. Now im getting kicked out of my dorm, getting bad grades, and was just about […]

I doubt any of you read or remember my previous posts…it’s been awhile.So in short…just to recap…last yr i found myself a 40 yr old virgin who had never even been on a date and was convinced that i would die alone. All i wanted was to end my suffering…i was at my breaking point and just wanted my life to end.I felt i need to voice my feelings and since i didn’t have anyone to talk to i went online and found this website and so i told my story not thinking anything would come of it, just needed to get it off my […]

Dear Father,

I feel hopeless, helpless, worthless. I have jeopardized my life, and most likely hurt others in the process. You know my sins quite well, and you also know my regret. I am lost. I though I was fine by myself. I though I was self sufficient and didn’t need you. I let myself fall to complete shame. I became vulnerable to the Devil’s sins.

Father, you know that I let my moral character be destroyed. I let my moral fiber to be taken. My narcissistic, and hedonistic behavior clouded my judgment. It is bad to let yourself indulge every whim. Such pleasures are temporal, and […]

I want to be happy, this is true,
But I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.
Ive tried everything in the book,
Maybe if they took a second look,
theyd realize im at my lowest point
Even when I smoke a joint.
Even when I pop the pills,
Even when I can pay the bills.
Every object I see can be
The thing that kills me, sets me free
Does everyone else think this way?
Do they think about it every day?
Do they research easy ways to die?
Do they sit in their room all day and cry?
Do they feel like there is never hope?
Is anyone else in the same boat?
I feel so alone, have no […]

I’m not really sure why I’m writing this, I guess because I feel completely alone and this pain is making me physically and mentally sick. Maybe I should start from the beginning, I can’t remember a time when I never felt sad. My childhood was really traumatizing, My father and Mother both have mental illnesses. They divorced when I was young and my father then died when I was 14. I remember having suicidal thoughts when I was 12, and I’ve had them ever since then. At the age of 18 I feel like a old person, everything makes me tired! I mean everything. I […]

First of all, this is NOT an advertisement for a suicide partner. I would much rather die alone. Before I came to this site, I had never really heard of getting a random suicide partner. So, for those of you who want one, why? I’m not trying to be judgmental at all…to each his own. I am just trying to understand.

I may not be the beautiful girl with the perfect life or gorgeous boyfriend, but i use to be happy with how i was and to have people that loved me. I was diagnosed with depression when i was 11. i have been a cutter since i was 12. Suicide will one day be my way out of this horrible life. My father once told me is was selfish to be depressed and be suicide when there are lots of people in the world with worse problems. The thing is,  is that how do u help the way u feel? Its like love, how do […]

So ill start by saying… im not the best writer… and will probably jump from one thing to another…so sorry about that

Ill start with… Im 18 graduated a couple months early and was working but had to stop because i couldnt keep working with the people i worked with… infact i cant work with anyone… I dont talk to anyone and by that i mean noone.. parents sister old friends from school… I still have a couple friends i seee everyone know and then but when im with them it always feels really awkward… and it seems nowadays theres always this really awkward silence to […]

i’m running’ out of breath

no air is my chest

its like i can’t breathe again

we have another fight

another sleepless night

it’s like i can’t see the end

were screaming on a daily basis

why we keep wasting

something that was once so strong (

I can’t keep on fakin’

smiling around my friends when

deep inside I feel so wrong

used to be so nice to people but you know what? Shit gets to you. You get tired of being fucked over countless of times. You get tired of people walking all over you. You get sick of being labeled “too nice”. You get fucking sick of doing so much for people but not being appreciated for it. Fuck being nice, all people ever do is take advantage of you. Im so sick when people look at you like your a fucking freak! Fuck those “friends” who left you. Fuck that asshole who hurt you. Fuck that ***** who can’t keep her mouth shut about […]