General

For general topics related to the site.

4

I just needed to type something…tell something.

  March 26th, 2009 by kp

When I think of myself more often then not I just want to puke. I used to be so happy and free spirited and I feel high school and just recent events in my life is ruining me. I am more cynical, I dont get along with parents, I dont have a 4.0, I feel fat and ugly…i am a let down to my amazing little sister and my life is just one big treadmill. Its like ive climbed on and cant get off. I just have to keep running because I cant stop or I will get flung off and I dont know how to …

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4

Brenda Kastning

  March 25th, 2009 by Robby

I lost her as my real wife in the eary 70’s.

Now as I am 56, married, one child; I yearn to hear from her. I hope life has been kind to her.

Such is a little less on my end. I never made it out of Bothell. 

 

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2

Such a burden and disappointment

  March 25th, 2009 by Dahass

I’ve been depressed for as long as I can remember. I don’t really know why. I just don’t like to be alive. Nothing has ever happened to me, and I think for most of my life, it hasn’t been a horrible life. I just don’t like living it anymore. It’s getting harder to deal with.

I’m 28, separated from my husband for a year now and have an unplanned pregnancy with someone who I wish would die. I’m not that lucky though. I miss being with husband, I love him more than anything and would do anything for him. We have 2 beautiful girls.  I wish …

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2

psychological hypochondriac

  March 25th, 2009 by The long sweet cadence down

i tried to hang myself when i was like 8 or 9 with a jump rope. i was 13 when i took like 8 different bottles of pills. both attempts didnt work, obviously, but i still have horrible nightmares of past experiences and some weird memories of abuse are coming back to me. i wonder if im going crazy and making stuff up (im 17)… i admit that i’d rather be alright and have had a life where NOTHING bad has happened and everything is perfect but im wondering if im not a psychological hypochondriac..the memories are so vivid though. i can remember feelings, …

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1

is it incest?

  March 25th, 2009 by The long sweet cadence down

is it incest when its your adopted uncle who molests, etc…?

i was 6 or 7 at the time and he was 16 or 17….

i remember him always saying that i had ‘sexy legs’. and i remember being in a room with him and i was naked and crying and he was laughing, i cant remember if he was naked but i know his adoptive mom, my step grandmother, came in and started beating him and then it goes blank..

 

is that incest?

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2

The Darkness Has Won

  March 25th, 2009 by si1966

I dont know why i have joined this site.Where do i start ? The darkness has over come me now all my past has come out of me.I mean i was abused whan i was in childrens home at the age of 9 im now 42.It took me till the age of 37 to tell some one what had happed after several atemps to end my life about 5 years ago.I was told nothing could be done so again i was let down and had to hide it all again.My first wife and i split over all this ,yes we have kids .I remarried just …

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1

Pain

  March 23rd, 2009 by fifi514

My life was perfectly fine until things started in the 5th grade. I was your normal self-centered, bratty, know-it-all, drama queen, annoying, 10-year-old, until my mom decided she was leaving my dad. That day broke my heart, and tears are now splattering on my keyboard just thinking about it. When she told me the news, an unnatural shriek escaped my mouth, and she was surprisingly laughing at me, though I was standing in a pile of tears. Later that day my dad attempted talking to me about it, but for the first time in my whole life he put his head in his hands and cried right …

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1

love hurts

  March 23rd, 2009 by mattman375

I was going ou with Sarah for 3years 4 months. we had our ups and downs just like any normal people. Her life was not a good one but i was there to make it better for her. She wanted to be a veterinary nurses i tryed to help her get to her dream job but couldn’t. so in the ned she did give up on it.

It got to the ponit there I wanted to be with her for the rest of my left but i wanted to be a good husband and get it so that i could look after her and have a …

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4

  March 22nd, 2009 by aprilbushx

I was never considered pretty, never thought of as a beautiful young lady. Or a truely happy one for that matter. But everything changed when I met “him”. I can’t say he caused this aching dead feeling I have right now, because it was well before that it started, But he never helped. We went out for nearly 3 months. And I was really into him, I did most of my “firsts” with him. Including loosing my virginity, which people may consider I was a slag because I was only 12. But I loved him, and I thought he loved me. People will say “you don’t …

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6

Why I Deserve To Die

  March 22nd, 2009 by forrealzkaitlyn

 I’m stupid. I can hardly get a C in a class. My dad calls me a flunky, failure, stupid and a *****. I’m not pretty at all. I eat a lot but I’m not super fat. Every one picks fun of me, I’m aways wearing black. My boyfriend and I have been going out for about seven months and still nothing has changed. I haven’t changed. I smoke and I’m only 15. I like to think of older guys. People scar me. I have to many fears. My best hobby would have to be researching serial killers. My parents say I’ll be one.

 

 Any one who …

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3

every story has an ending

  March 22nd, 2009 by LivingDeadMan

I am as empty as I am alone.15 years of fighting my impulses and depression has left me little more than a shell.I’ve been waiting for life to show me that it’s worth living,but I think I’ve lost the point somewhere along the way.I feel like I’m drowning.I don’t talk to anyone about the way I feel,and noone seems to care.I’ve done and been through so much,but it’s never the good stuff that stays with me.It’s the pain and heartbreak that haunts me.My pain has far outweighed my ability to cope and it seems like things get worse every year.I destroy everything I touch and …

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4

Inadequate.

  March 21st, 2009 by Alexis

Its how I feel most of the time. I want to say I just feel stupid most of the time but that’s not the word I’m looking for. I’m extremely hard on myself and reaching out for help is something I hardly ever do. I guess you could say I’m the type who always offers to help ((even people I don’t know)) but never actually asks for help myself especially when I need it. I try to help people as best I can on this site by offering to listen to them, but I feel as if no one will listen to me ((on and …

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1

Just Tired

  March 21st, 2009 by Mikeatpeace

I really prefer not to die but I see no recourse. I have suffered throughout my life literally since conception. I was born to a woman going thru a nervous breakdown. Her 18 mo. old daughter died of heat stroke.

I weighed only 44oz. at birth. I was delivered via Caesaerean due to complications. I then suffered prolonged oxygen deprivation at abou 3 mos. I was given the last rites of the Catholic Church as i was supposed to die then. I would have been better off.

I then went to an orphanage and multiple foster homes. I was physically abused up till age 3. I was …

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2

so confused

  March 21st, 2009 by soconfused

I dont know what im going to do without her. She was my bestfriend at least i thought. I wasted 3 years of my life in some friendship. You might say friendships come and go.. but ill tell you why this one was diffrent. We were more then friends at one point. She started it and i went along with it just so happy that someone loved me. One night when she stayed the night she put her arm around me and that was it. Its as much as my fault as it is hers i didnt stop anything. Nothing serious ever happened just cuddling

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4

crying out

  March 21st, 2009 by Mari

I’ve never been the type to ask for help. I am a very independent person, who likes to do everything on my own.

I cry out for help in my own way. But no one is lisenting. My brother usualy hears the crys but he’s been working a lot lately. My mom just seems to ignore them. She just seems to care more about her friends then her own daughter.

I know she can’t be stupid. I’m falling back into my same ruotine. I never eat. And when I do I get sick right after. I sleep A LOT. I don’t only sleep cuz I’m coming down …

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5

why i want to commit suicide

  March 19th, 2009 by Daz24

well first of all i get bullied at school because im fatter than everyone else i get punched called fat boy and well i cant deal with it anymore. i get picked on to get money for people and if i dont get them it i get bullied even more so i got the money from my brother without him knowing but my mum found out and shes calling me a fat bastard and other horrible names because i spent a little bit on food to calm me down shes making me want to commit suicide so im going to end my life its the …

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5

Obsessive

  March 19th, 2009 by Ewald

I’m mildly obsessed with the idea of taking my life.

Almost any way possible if I can do it semi-passively.  It’s almost ironic that I’m no longer afraid of heights because I’d like to fall from them.  Right now, I’d like to go back downstairs and take the knife and start writing in my skin with blood.  Conquer my fear of pain as well.

And I’d jut cut and cut and cut.

And if I accidentally let too much blood flow out?  All the better.

Lately I’ve been trying to deal with food.  I’ve been forgetting to eat every now and then and eating things with barely any calories …

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3

numb

  March 18th, 2009 by greatwar

as a child beaten and unloved, told to leave and never to return.

alone and desperate for love, let in love, well what i thought was love, to be let down and left with two wonderfull children, but still wanted to be loved and wanted to be wanted, let love in again, to be beaten and abused, no one to help, let down by everyone,  12 years long years, trying to hide it form my (now three) children, lost in the divorce, hunted out of my home, relocated, in poverty, no fridge, cooker, carpets, and baillifs around tomorow to take what i have left.

iam numb, i …

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5

Notes from a whiny teenager who feels lost

  March 18th, 2009 by jesserose

First of all, i’m beyond grateful for this site, it has seriously shown me how many people are going through the same stuff I am. Obviously you don’t have to read this, but, i need to write it. I may never go on this site again or check it, but i need to let my soul just spill. I grew up in a Christian home my whole life. My father was a missionary and my mother is/was a seriously strong christian. Recently, i’ve been going through serious depression. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I’ve just been a zombie. I’ll come home from school …

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7

Having the physical pain I do, it makes me feel like I want to die

  March 17th, 2009 by Surgey

I have always been a VERY strong person. I am the one people would come to for advice and for strength but lately I find myself completely without strength and it also feels like no one I have ever been there for is there for me now. I have rheumatoid arthritis and I’m 28 years old. I was born with the disease and my whole childhood was destroyed by the illness. I never had a normal life. So I grew up knowing how to deal with pain and suffering. However, I went into complete remission when I was 18 and my life became wonderful. I …

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