General

about to go fucking cut my wrist because of some random fucking person i don’t even know. saying i want to kill myself over it would just be way too over fucking dramatic. i’m not on here to fucking lie and pretend i’m suicidal. cause that’s bullshit. and it would be pretty fucking heartless. like a post i read the other day, about someone calling a suicide hotline. and the person she talked to just wrote her off like it was nothing. because she said she was okay. what kind of person that isn’t actually suicidal would call a fucking hotline like that? a fucked up one. […]

Every time I try to attract a girl some other guy (mostly one of my friends) attracts them more. Like this week. School has been started for a few weeks now and everyone knows that new kids always come. So I had my eyes on this one girl. She’s so beautiful and out of my league. So i turned to my friends guys and girls. They all told me that if I try I’ll be able to get her. So these past few days I’ve managed to get her number and text her a few times. So today I texted her right after school and […]

Hi All. I’m a 27 year old male suffering from a mental condition (schizo effective disorder) that has left me strongly medicated to the point that I can’t feel anything emotionally and I’m constantly in a numb state to the point of everything being unbearable. Unfortunately this is the only medication that’s available for my condition, so I’m really at a loss for help. Since the development of my condition my life has severely deteriorated. Most of my friends are gone, I can’t work, and I’m completely isolated. I don’t feel strong enough to do anything about my situation which has been like this for […]

This is just to comfort myself, there really is no point to me to write this.
Dancerina14, I remember meeting you here, your first post dedicated to me, ha I remember the video. And our conversation here. I instantly fell in love with your quirkiness. Little did I know we would start dating soon after. Now after almost four months I’m on the verge of losing you. All my fault, I’m a complete jerk sometimes, im not very understanding sometimes and I make you mad at me alot now and you have problems saying stuff to me with fear of upsetting me or making me […]

you know when you tell someone something, in hopes that it could make a slight difference? but it comes back to bite you in the ass? only making it worse than it was? i’ve made that mistake one time too many. it created problems with the person that i told. and now all said person can do is fucking worry about me and go tell someone else about me “talking crazy again”. no. no. no. it only makes it worse. because i don’t need that person to come and check on me to see that i’m fine. and ask if i’m ohkay. because obviously i […]

i personally believe, that when we die, our bodies get stuck in a hole in the ground. and we get eaten by maggots. our body decomposes and that’s the end of it all. we become part of the earth, pretty much.

although, it really depends on your own religious beliefs.

Depression is what i feel right now. Who knew people cant see through my fake mask and emotions. Even when i tell them it seems like its not important. Im just going to hide hide deep into my emotions. I wish my sister wasnt home so i can go hang from a tree. I dont care who i break. Although this wont slove anything at least i wont be here anymore. At least i dont have to go to school much longer. See anyone whom i have gracefully hurt. I dont hav to worry about anything anymore. My life is pointless. I dont deserve anyone […]

I can’t believe that love could hurt this much, it really sucks:/ (I’m a girl). my dad yelled at me again, and worked me to death. I don’t have any friends, and I still cry every day because of my physical(aching bones and beating myself) and mental pain. But I don’t mind it so Mich anymore, being alone isn’t terrible. It gives me a lot of time to think of ways I can commit suicide in the near future.

I made a note to be read when im gone about a month ago. Even though im still here I have it safe in my wallet. I wonder every time I read it if I should add some more? Its not the first note I’ve written. It probably wont be the last. Im wondering when I am gone if every one I write will be found. All my life Ive been judged. When people are talking about me, for some reason my ears just cant ignor. The things I hear make me write more.  More is suppose to be a good thing right? Is the […]

why cant I kill myself?
why cant my methods work?
why do people insist on stopping me?
why cant you see my pain?

Why cant you see im only trying to stop it?
why cant you let me go? (its not like you care for me)
why not let me hate myself if you hate me?
Why cant I just die with a smile on my face?
why so many masks that no one can see threw?
why is there a why?

I’m not so sure anything is wrong with me other than my almost complete disconnect from other walking/talking human beings. I go to work everyday and spend the weekends with my younger brother, mentoring him and just giving him my time. That’s all I do though.

I practically run home after work and shut myself away until I slip into a drug induced haze. I just can’t be who I was anymore, that support character that everyone seems to love so much. Giving my thoughts, insight, advice etc. I only seem to exist to help, I’m a bastard after all. I don’t have any grand purpose, […]

what do you do when your step-dad or whatever takes you out one day to go shopping and he let’s you have a few drinks. then he starts to feel you up and you don’t know what to do. and your mother asks if you slept with him like it was all your fault. then probably months later he comes out of the closet to you saying he cross dresses and all this shit. and tells me stories. and uses that as an excuse as to why he was feeling you up. and then he sits around and tries to play daddy. like, he has any […]

Can someone help me for a while? I just need someone to listen, and maybe offer their advice. It would be much appreciated.

When I was 13 years old I went threw a lot of stuff. I was always sad. always crying. I felt ugly and ashamed of myself. At this point my older siblings found a way to get our dad to send them to mothers house ( who left when I was 9 months old), so i was by myself with his girlfriend Paula. She always fought with me and yelled at me. One day during the summer she said she hated me and i was nothing and my dad didn’t care about me. I told her fine and grabbed a rope. I went out […]

for the past two months I have been crying everyday I feel like crap and have been planning to kill myself everyday. I ger about 2 hrs maybe 5 if I’m lucky of sleep . I wake up in the middle of the night regretting they ways I look and I even tried breaking my finger. I use to b bullied for 7 yrs as a child I am now 16 and I still live with the memories of my past. I feel ugly , worthless all the names they called me while I just sat there, the quiet child ,the one who was too […]

Never try to overdose on tylenol!Im the most retarded 15yr. in the world I spent 7 day in the hospital with people telling me God loves you so much he gave you back a perfect liver and how much they love me and presuring me not to do it again.Then 11 days in physhc unit where put me on antidepressants and continuousy preached to me not to do it again!18 days of hospotal food YUM!

I don’t know who I am anymore. I sit all alone in my room in silence wondering what other people think of me. You see I’m like a chameleon, my personality changes when I’m with different types of people….one minute I’m a law abiding citizen that is happy and making jokes (this is an act as I’m falling apart inside) and the next minute I’m cussing, I’m out drinking and buying drugs.
It gets tiring putting on these different ‘masks’ and trying to impress everyone but the truth is I’m extremely afraid of being judged, thats why I hate going to the mall because […]

Do to Mary Anns request i have deleted this post!