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Depressions eats away at my mind every single day, some more so than others but it’s always there. Some bad things have happened in my short 18 years on this earth but the events of Saturday night have hit me intesenly and I don’t know if I can recover and even if I can I don’t think I want to. Saturday night started as a trip to visit the family that I call my own, even though they aren’t exactly. They were at a friends having dinner so I went and joined them. We started drinking and playing some card games and people started going […]
how do i check myself into a state hospital? I’ve been in local care but want to go to state. how?
I tried to kill myself today. Even had the rope around my neck. The knot was tied. I couldn’t do it. I don’t know for sure if death will end my pain. I wish I wasn’t so alone.
yeah, was just in the mood to paint this… haha
I sit here and read post after post of people who wish they were dead, want to die horrible deaths, or are still affected by outside forces that determine how they feel about themselves…my thinking is these people do not really want to die…they are tied too tightly to anger, pain, and disenchantment so in essence they are very much alive.
I have some admiration for the people who are tired of living and go…just go..quietly.
I might be lactose intolerant or something. Reading these posts is bad to me just makes me depressed and I’m halfway to normal 30 minutes till it’s 3:00 anyways my stomache aches a lil and I feel a lil gassy I cringe at the thought of the enchiladas (tortilla with cheese and salsa) because of the stupid chees i hate the stuff. Milk I’m sort of okay with but cheese ugh it’s aged fungus on the milky shit. I feel it’s harder to breath but it may be my stupidity making me forget to take a breath… I have mucus in my throat. Don’t know […]
my depression, like the scar on my forehead. It is stuck with me. It will never go away. Except my depression comes and goes as it pleases, makes eme sad and angry occasionally and normal and content other days. Never truly happy though, but I’m better than my major depression a few months ago. I’ve choked so much, my past is new to me. Reality and dreams are hard to comprehend and I can’t figure which is which. Music from Matisyahu reminds me of Nycolle. My brain is completely set on the idea that I have no reason to live. My morals and values are […]
On July 12, 2008, I was haveing a hard day. I remeber that day as it it were yesterday.
I had awoken to screaming, and yelling of my mother and brother. My mom had thrown a vase at him, well, my home-made vase that I made out of clay when I was 7. I loved that damn thing, I was pround of it.
My mother had turned to look at me, and started screaming at me, and saying words like,” You stupid whore! Your nothing but a slut!” And all that, and I was only 8 or 9. Thats sad, and I was the loner girl at […]
I do not know WHY I am doing this. I am so lonely so I just jumped at the chance.
If anyone needs help, I’m here. I know some of you may not contact me but I do not care. People who need a friend, Or just want to get stuff off their chest…I’m here. Here is a list of ways to contact me.
Email: GiaBrownrocks@gmail.com(Check most often), GiaBia16@gmail.com, MusicGianni@wild4music.com, and Shemademelive@gmail.com
Make sure to tell me who you are…
I am successful in life. I am educated with a prestigious job, have lots of friends, relatively healthy (under the influence of pysch meds), a great family, and a semi-flawed boyfriend. I’ve got everything I need in life. I am the envy of my friends and cousins.
Little do they know that I have this massive self-loathing and a perpetual wish to kill myself. It never goes away. Even when I am working or out with friends, I would picture throwing myself in a busy road or taking all the pills and capsules I could find. But I know the latter does not work too well, […]
I feel like a black girl traped in a white girls body. I talk to alot of black people and i have always felt like i should have been black. I know this sounds weird and odd but sometimes i think thats why partly im unhappy with life because i feel like i was born in the wrong body.
Most days I want to die. Of course. Seems to be a common thread amongst this forum. I feel every day, I’m in another world. Not alone. It takes the word alone to a completely unrelated definition. No matter how hard I clutch myself, no matter how feverishly I cling to my significant other, I’m only alone, spiraling into an incohesive atmosphere of pain, desperation and fear. The only scary part is the simple, sobering fact that I can no longer close my eyes for escape. Sleep is quite underrated.
Have you ever hated yourself so much you just want to put a gun to your head?
When someone is talking or trying to stop you that you feel the hurt feeling not from hurting everyone you just feeling really hurt emotionally not phsyically?
Although you just dont want to drop the gun you get closer and closer from pulling the trigger.
Listening to people’s problems but you just dont really care. You don’t care at all so much you just want to get up and leave?
When was the first time you listen to mine problems? Was it when i was about to talk […]
I can’t breath right now… I’m getting the pills and I’m taking every last one of them. I know I’ll wake up tomorrow but I want to make every last bit of my time as miserable as possible. I can’t do this.. I CANT. I can’t…
Fuck…
phsychoses paranoid dillusional suicidal. its a good mix like magic dust with relaxers. distroeyd me. scdal.HELL OCCUPANT.
have you ever loved someone so much that you cry for them ever night? that you would die for them? that you still love them even though they’re emotionally torturing you? that they make you want to commit suicide, but you still love them anyway and you have no clue why? well thats me pretty much. and dont tell me I shouldn’t love him because he’s hurting me mentally, because I love him beyond the depths of the earth, that barely explains my love for him, I wish he knew what he’s doing to me.:(
OH and does anyone know how to take away emotional pain […]
Wow, this is really long. If you are looking for help or advice or just some things to think about, read the last paragraph or 2. Most of this is my life story, enjoy.
I’m Ben. I’m 17 years old, and I live in Dayton, Ohio. Well, where do I start? I was born in Dayton in one of the worst hospitals in the state. When I was a baby, we lived in a terrible neighborhood on the southeast side of Dayton. My older brother, Matt has has high-functioning Autism. All my life he has been my best-friend. You couldn’t split us apart. He was the […]
fuck man.!!……a dated meh fr 4 mnths..:(.!! he broked up with me..bt he said me he still love me……even i did ..rather DO.!……he nw abuses meh.:(>.! whole schul says i am one of the best girls..>bt he..????????? don gt him..!……..every1 says his entetion were just 2 kiss meh..:(.! i am just 13.! bt i tried 2 kill my self 4 tymes…nt just only fr him bt more bad reasons…..i don get nw wat 2 du..??…i have seperated my self frm my family coz of my duings….dey don trust me snymore..:(….i am alone…it hurts alot!………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………me living bt still dying……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..wats de need me suiciding..:(
So I got help yesterday. I told my doctor about one
Recent suicide attempt. I LIED. I refused to tell her
about the other 10 times I had tried and didn’t mention
anorexia or my panic attacks.
My friend said if I fucked up my life while she was in Italy,she would never forgive me. She is coming back in 12 days and I’m still a suicidal freak. What to do?!?!?
I know what you might say-she’s not a real friend if she doesn’t stick by me? But it’s not like that. I’ve been this suicidal girl for about 8 months now And it gets tiring […]