I Will Survive

I did this, you can too.

7

Religion sez 4 tards

May 9th, 2017by BlueDiamond

I have a feeling that I’m going to be the invisible girl on this web-site for now on. My last post that has gotten the most posting, let me un-iron some kinks to guys might have. I do not hate strippers personally by all means if you entertain mostly men while being mostly naked is your thing, then do it. I was expressing why I wouldn’t be a good fit like trust me, if I was to go into a strip to fill-out an application. I would get denied. I never said or believe that women should go back into the kitchen, and finally the …

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11

How to kill yourself

May 8th, 2017by ImSayingGoodBye

Okay lets face it, its not that easy. Regardless of the method, whether itd be gun, pills, gassing, jumping, explosion, train or just whatever its really hard to pull through with it. Because lets be honest death is not something that’s a walk in the park. We don’t know how bad its going to hurt, even if its the most “painless” of methods. The fact is only those that know aren’t here to tell. SO.. with all that said. I want to get into detail about what it may take to overcome that fear and actually commit suicide. Lets not even call it suicide, lets …

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8

I need help

May 8th, 2017by peachmuffin143

I was a bit sceptical about this site at first. Then I read every post and thought to myself that I’m not alone. I was desperate to fix everything. I was hurt to see others hurt. I tried my best to help them and in the mean time I struggle with own troubles. I HATE to say this…but I HATE that particular person. And I HATE myself for hating her. I hate that I have to admit that I’m weak….I’m insecure. I hate everything. I live for years coping with anxiety and depression.

I met with several counsellors in my life. Now I’m 20 years old …

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1

choices

May 8th, 2017by livingparadox

I am stuck between wanting to die and not wanting to die. I think i’m a living paradox. A messy paradox. I don’t know but I’m scared of the possibilities that each has. I don’t want to live in this selfish world anymore but i don’t want to be selfish too just because I want to die and leave this cruel place. I’ve been Having suicidal, anxious, and depressing thoughts for years and I just wanted it to stop. Everyday is Like a triP to a dark forbidden forest, and a day with an endless rain. It’s as if I’m drowning in a pool of …

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32

What are the Stupidest Things Someone has Ever Said the You

May 7th, 2017by BlueDiamond

Mine was being told that I should be a stripper. Yeah, sure get a 260 pound girl on that pole, but he told that there were girls my size with smaller boobs working those poles.
You all know why I hate men.

Reasons not to be a stripper:
1. I hate men, and entertaining men would be my number one worse nightmare.
2. I’m afraid of being upside down, and don’t strippers go upside down on those poles.
3. I don’t have the flexibility to work a pole.
4. Never worked a pole in my life.
5 If a man hits on me in the strip club, I would probably pepper spay …

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2

Prison Earth

May 6th, 2017by BlueDiamond

I like to imagine Earth as a giant prison, and God or these angels placed our souls into these advance prison uniforms called bodies. These bodies are hideous. Trapped between these gooey organs, and water, covered by soft fleshy pink skin. I once remember having eagle vision, gather all the scents from a single galaxy, and finding a soulmate was much easier because when I was free, we were all full of love, and with our strong bonds, the sex felt a thousands times orgasmic than on earth. No longer does the food taste good on Earth, since I remember, but this suit and the …

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5

Traveling the U.S.A with Optimus Prime

May 3rd, 2017by BlueDiamond

My case manager listed jobs for people that hate people. Two jobs that interested me was technical writing and being a truck driver. Doubt that I would ever get a job in technical writing, though I done take a class in it and got an A, but that was the easy class like a 200 level. I could be electrician, there are jobs for that. Truck driving was interesting. You get to travel the country and make 40,000 dollars, though it isn’t a job for raising a family for a could be single mom. I always fantasized about traveling the world with a transformer, and …

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1

I seen it happen

May 1st, 2017by augusttwentysixteen

PLEASE READ…

I know my own little segment I am about to write may be pointless to most people, but I want to share my story to some people. To all those people, learning how to tie a noose, or learning what you can drink to die faster, or even learning the best pill to take to end your life, please don’t. As a child of suicide, I’ve come to realize how goddamn pointless other people’s pleas to not end your life can be. I mean, I tried to end my life a total of 10 or 11 times, I really stopped keeping track after the …

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7

chapters

May 1st, 2017by Addiictivetragedy

Ever since I was a little girl I always asked questions about my little sister.. The sister my mother gave up for adoption. Our mother was a drug addict who chose men over her kids and is STILL continues doing drugs. my life was very rough but I was always the type to wish for a happily ever after… So I made excuses after excuses for my mom. She got pregnant not to long after she gave my sister up for adoption but abused pills which led to a stillborn.. My other baby sister Seirra (May she Rest with the angels) … My mother then …

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0

running from the silence

April 25th, 2017by heartlessviking

After so many days in quiet contemplation this past month has been the first time I have actually actively tried to live. There’s a few reasons here, and today’s thoughts are proof.

Let’s just stay in the present, I have written plenty on my past. Today I woke up and it started out with bad news(ish) that I wouldn’t be getting to work at my paying job. I like working there, I’m learning a skill, but on the other hand I’m glad for the rest and to set my own pace for most of the week.

I flat didn’t get a damn thing done the first 4 …

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6

WHY is it so FU(£ING difficult to LOG IN HERE!???

April 24th, 2017by bobbywylie

I can see the reasoning behind keeping a site like this….well….discrete, I guess. But, you know, I’ve wanted, on a couple of occasions, to sign in and TALK to people (when I’ve been NEAR FUCKING KILLING MYSELF!!), but I can’t figure out how to fucking LOG IN so I can COMMUNICATE!!! WTF?!!!

There’s no LOG IN details when you visit this site! You may be DESPERATE – and you may well be RIGHT ON THE FUCKING EDGE AND DESPERATE TO TALK TO LIKE-MINDED PEOPLE, but……how the fuck do you GET IN!????????

 I managed to log on ONLY because I inadvertantly clicked on somebody’s POST! Is that how

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1

I Will Overcome !

April 23rd, 2017by Addiictivetragedy

Mind like quicksand, but I try to stay above land.
Kaleidoscope of different scenarios. Life falling in a burial. Heart broken like shattered glass, not healing no mater how much time has passed. Haunted dreams every night, becoming weaker after every fight. Can’t distinguish what is real or in my head, every night laying on my deathbed. Anxiety, bipolar and PTSD, is slowly overpowering me.
Suicidal Thoughts but I’m afraid of death, continuous thoughts of how I will lose my last breath. Anxious, anxious all the time, but with meds they tell I’ll be just fine. Irritable, angry, sadden and scared, all through my mind like a …

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1

Blossom

April 23rd, 2017by Addiictivetragedy

You used your words, I used my heart. I became unheard, you became a dart. I reached out, you pushed away. I started to doubt but I was forced to stay.
Growing a flower, supposed to be a blessing. but you had the power. And I was left stressing..
Far from family , no one but you,
Loss of gravity, my hatred grew.
You where supposed to be my happy ending, but this chapter was just beginning.
My flower blossomed, she is so beautiful, I became cautioned, you grew so pitiful. Yelling and abusing, but with no bruising. I tried to flee, your family didn’t agree.. threatened like a thief …

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2

Ocean

April 20th, 2017by Wildbears

I served a sentence as a foster child. I was abused more in the custody of the state.
I then turn to be a difference in the life of a child. I guess i felt i could save me. As i work with kids to this day i find hurtful, hateful, lying humans saving their own skin from their wrong doings.
I find myself as an adult once again a victim of this false god called child protective services. The only thing they protect is financial gain. Destroy families and put child in more stress and pain.
I am in despair and my mind keeps going to false …

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1

What makes me move on?

April 14th, 2017by kellinandrew

I am here to tell you one thing. Death isn’t my solution, it is my hideaway spot. The place I dream about when things get bad, the place I think about when I want to end things, but cant bring myself to do it. I find it comforting to dream about what could be if I died, but then it begins to scare me, it begins to make me feel alone, and sometimes I don’t know what to do. How to handle life, how to keep going. Im so tired of struggling, so tired of living off of nothing, having to rely on others, I …

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2

Slow and steady/Dr. Visit

April 11th, 2017by heartlessviking

Today things set a good trend for me. I’m still at the point I can only go out a few days a week, but I’m working on that. So today came the long awaited and also long dreaded visit with my prescribing doctor. I was really dreading the concept of going in and talking about my issues from the last few weeks. I’ve been trying to be more honest with this doctor and we have a much more functional relationship for it. That does mean though if I had still be in the deep existential funk that has dominated the last few weeks I would …

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2

A good day.

March 25th, 2017by Foxglove7

Today was a good day. I feel more insecure because of that. A dear friend who I love dearly called, and I hadn’t heard her voice in months. I was so nervous. We talked philosophy like always, like the day we first spoke(for hours) and became instant friends, maybe friends for life. Now I feel so insecure. I haven’t spoken to her in months….. does she know how crazy I am? She knew when I left the town we met in a few months back. She knew my mind was broken in a million places by madness and self-destruction and hopelessness. She held me really …

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4

My Story

March 19th, 2017by xxpasteltearsxx

So, I’m 15 years old and I’m the youngest of 5 children from my mother. The 3 oldest have different dads and are much older than I am. My relationship with them was never good, mostly because my dad (their stepdad) was very abusive towards them but not me.  They felt that I was being factorized and wanted nothing to do with me. I witnessed my dad beating on my older siblings countless times while my mom just stood there and watched. And while I wasn’t the one getting the abuse it still took a toll on me to witness that. I can’t remember a …

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5

Blank

March 19th, 2017by Zelrot

I lost my baby within three years of her birth. Before that, I was moderately depressed. Once in a while I would break down into tears, I was even afraid to look in the mirror. I’ve seen myself as a monster most of my life. If not I as a monster, then I as someone surrounded by them. I’ve been married to my husband for quite a while now, I love him dearly but his depression only piles onto mine. He’s put a gun to his head around 238 times now, once just recently. He pulled the trigger all but that last time, all bullets …

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3

5AM BPD/Love/Sob

February 20th, 2017by Elliot97

Do I get up and disappear while she lays beside me, sleeping beautifully? Even if she did no wrong I can’t force myself to believe she hasn’t, If I disappear maybe she’ll find someone better and worthy. I was always told anything said or thought after 2AM should be ignored but it seems to be my wisest moments. I don’t know how or why I think this way, I wish I didn’t. I wish I was ‘normal’… I used to say consistency is key in my previous relationships but it seems the only thing consistent in my life is sadness, suicidal thoughts and total destruction …

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