I Will Survive

I did this, you can too.

7

I think my heart is giving me mixed signals

  November 3rd, 2018 by sansfranzdeput

I feel so lost right now: one of my few close friends- a girl- made me feel…………..special. We had just gone to see a marvel movie, and we were in the car, just chatting. I had previously mentioned to her passingly in the last week or so that I thought that I was going to being moving away soon, and she had reacted in a semi-sad, but mostly just bummed out way. But I brought the subject up again in the car, because I wanted to get her opinion on the whole thing. She started tearing up and sad that she’d really miss me. I [...]
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1

Until your dead

  October 16th, 2018 by thelonergirl123

Why is it when you suddenly die, everyone is like oh “she was so loved” or “I’m going to miss her”.   Am I the only one thinking you’ll miss throwing stuff at her and posting on the hate page you created about her. I guess once you die people just love to hear “I’m so sorry for your loss” and get attention off of your death at least that’s what they’re doing with hers.


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2

70k+ posts

  October 2nd, 2018 by Yikrens

i know a music thread with 60000 posts.

this page here is different. 2 user do not make of about 20% of that entries, guessed.

it is impossible to have a overview about. do you think that’s with the no partners rule?

i’m critical about if I use this page right or if the support can explain me. i maybe just lack suicidality and fear of free things..


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1

Against the grain

  September 28th, 2018 by lonewolf23

It’s tough when your going through changes. It seems everyone wants to hold you back. As somebody with social anxiety it can get exhausting when others hate on you for breaking your shell. Many of these people are not even the social ones but rather the other quiet ones. They give me dirty looks that seem to be saying “You’re a loner, don’t even try!”. They may have given up hope but I still haven’t. I know i can overcome i Social anxiety. These days i just embrace all the weird feelings that come along with getting out of my comfort zone. And although I’ve [...]
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0

The Cycle

  September 23rd, 2018 by arachnophilia

I think I’m starting to cope a little better. It used to be that I’d get sucked completely under and nearly destroy myself in times like this. Then I got to the point where I could just wearily plod on with life, slow and difficult as the terrain is. The tide’s come in again, and I feel like garbage swirling in the sea, but I think this is the first time I haven’t been afraid of it. I can take a step back and think “This is just a sign I need to adjust some things; I only need to stay calm and find out [...]
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2

The despair is starting to lift a bit.

  September 22nd, 2018 by NiceGuy2001

When New Years Eve arrives, IF it arrives for me, I think I will be very happy to say goodbye to 2018, because this year has been the most difficult and painful year of my entire life.

The despair hit me again a couple of days ago. Every time the despair hits, it wears me down a little bit more, and sometimes I think there will be nothing left. And this time the despair was pretty bad. On the one-to-ten scale of despair, this was about an eight. But it’s starting to lift a bit. I hope I can hold on. If I don’t, I think [...]
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7

Life is boring , Reality is boring , real life is boring , real world is boring

  September 14th, 2018 by niki

Especially when you’ve realized that nothing we do here in reality will ever compare to our imaginations. And no, I’m not talking about petty, shallow, superficial, & stupid imaginations like most people only have with their simple-minded brains. I’m talking about all those best fantasy movies, games, novels, comic books, anime/manga, etc, with all their magic, superpowers, & magical, fantasy, adventurous world/universe with its limitless, unlimited possibilities.

Fuck this reality.
Reality is boring, stupid, & depressing.

reality is boring , life is boring ,
it’s all about money
i hate money
i hate business
i wish i live in the movie game anime manga novel comics books

I [...]
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2

No one would Listen

  September 3rd, 2018 by LostGirl1981

I needed someone to hear me. No one would listen. My mother ignored me when I told her I had been sexually abused by her stepfather. Then KNEW it was happening and turned a blind eye yet again as I was being Sexually assaulted by a “family friend”.
I started to break. As more adults discovered I was being molested and raped by this family friend and no one helped me. Adults who now wouldn’t let their daughters spend the night anymore but yet still didn’t, or wouldn’t, help me. The didn’t Stop it. Did not report it  or talk to my parents. My Dad [...]
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3

reality is boring , life is boring , it’s all about money , i hate money , i hate business , i wish i live in the movie game anime manga novel comics books

  August 18th, 2018 by niki

reality is boring , life is boring , it’s all about money , i hate money , i hate business , i wish i live in the movie game anime manga novel comics books

I hate reality , reality is boring !
I hate real life , real life is boring !
I hate real world , real world is boring !

I wish I live in movie / movies , I wish movies were real
I wish I live in video games , I wish games were real
I wish I live in novels , I wish novels were real
I wish I live in anime [...]
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6

Social Anxiety is an asshole

  August 13th, 2018 by sansfranzdeput

The title makes the theme pretty clear: I have buttloads of Social Anxiety, and it is a living Hell dealing with, ignoring, or confronting it on a daily, and sometimes, hourly basis. I have battled against it my whole memorable life, and I’ve had it up to here- *raises hand to tippy top of head* -with all the bullshit.

I had an amazing day today/yesterday, but all I can think about, all the thoughts I can conjure and obsess over are, “what if I fucked it up? What if the people I talked to and had coffee with in that wonderful, cozy cafe think I am [...]
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1

It gets better

  August 12th, 2018 by unicornsandrainbows

I am writing this hoping that it will touch someone going through a hard time. I have struggled with chronic depression for a little over 10 years now. From self-inflicting harm to suicide attempts, I have had my fair share of ups and downs.

I also suffer from fibromyalgia, and those who can relate know how terrible it is. For a long time I would come home from work and/or school crying because I was in so much pain all the time. My grades were being affected, my social life was being affected, and more importantly my mental state was being affected. I finally decided to [...]
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3

I feel hopeful

  August 11th, 2018 by NotSoSuicidalNoMoe

I started taking this drug my psychologists prescribed me. I was initially very hesitant to try it since she said my skin could fall off ? (though the chances of it happening were very low –and if I saw any rashes in my skin to immediately go to the ER and it would not get to that point). But I had a horrible episode a few days ago. I spoke with my boyfriend, Eric, about it. I told him how I felt and why I wasn’t so open with him. I told him that I didn’t want to stress him out or to see him [...]
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4

Seeing If Things Get Better

  August 8th, 2018 by anon72

I’ll stay for another day and see if things get better.  Even though it’s cliche and seems like a lie that things will get better.


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9

Is it not my time?

  July 30th, 2018 by WanderingDreamer91

Is it not my time?

 

I was actually planning on dying today… or SOME Monday, hopefully when no one is around (which they are right now, but maybe that won’t actually matter…), but… I’m really scared…

 

Why am I so indecisive and cowardly? T_T Why can’t I make up my mind with stuff…?

 

I don’t want to work anymore, I hate work… so exhausting and I hate the people…

 

I want a future and a girlfriend…

 

And not to share my methods or anything, but I kind of want [...]
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4

just a little more

  July 29th, 2018 by 3333330000055599669

i’ve been suicidal since i was 14, maybe 13, but my memory before my first attempt is blurry. i’m almost eighteen now.

i didn’t intend on making it this far, at all. i didn’t intend on living this long – ever getting a job – making it to my senior year of HS.

but, if you’re like me. it’s probably important to remember something my friend said to me.

“you shouldn’t deem yourself a failure whenever you fall down again, you’re still going, you’re still strong. Your illnesses aren’t you. You’re you; and that’s what matters.”

just a little more, okay?


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2

Hope

  July 26th, 2018 by dsemfodi

Hi! I’m new here. I’ve been very curious on the Smooth Passages that was in a book called My Heart and Other Black Holes and it led me to this website.

I think my depression all started 2 years ago. You may be thinking, I was so strong that I’m still alive up to this time. Well I tried. I’ve kept myself busy but the pain only deepens. I never told anyone about this. I may have given them signs yet nobody cares. The first year was very hard for me. I keep having insomnias at night and then this black shadow overcomes me and [...]
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3

After 5 years .. I am back again at suicide project !

  July 24th, 2018 by jano.19

The Last time I posted was FIVE years ago ..

I never though I’d ever come back .!

Yet here I am

I guess we never really change !

no matter how hard we try to change ourselves deep down we will always be the same .

I fought hard .. and I’m still fighting .. I’m not really willing to surrender not before not now not ever

yet still my inner self , my flaws , my weaknesses.. are catching up with me ..

spend the last five years in what I developed to br a stable life .. it is actually to most people it’s what they want .

I got [...]
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0

Fine… Im Fine

  July 23rd, 2018 by razorwrists

Sometimes I just feel down and sometimes I feel as if im being held down by something so big I cant breathe It casts a shadow over me I cant quite tell how big but its big enough to cover my mind its so dark I struggle to smile people think they know but there just as lost as me they offer advice but it passes by my head like a breeze not a small breeze its like the breathe of the shadow it inhales and I feel blank then it exhales and still nothing happens im at a stand still but I don’t know [...]
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5

What do you do when you can’t feel anything?

Just emptiness, numbness… I can’t do anything.  I’m suicidal. Ive tried so many times. I tried to get better. I stopped taking antidepressants for 2 months now. I didn’t want to depend on it anymore.

4

Milestones

  July 13th, 2018 by lynndo

On July 14th, 2000, I survived being born.

On April 5th, 2003, I survived my first surgery.

In Spring 2009, I survived my entire grade hating me because of a rumour.

On February 8th, 2010, I survived my first suicide attempt.

On September 14, 2014, I survived my first day of high school.

On February 15, 2018, I survived my first break-up.

On May 23, 2018, I survived being knocked unconscious in the middle of a lake.

On July 11, 2018, I survived a severe inhalation of muratic acid.

If I can survive all that, what’s stopping me from going one more day?


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