I am not entirely sure where to start. I have been depressed for several years and have been contemplating suicide since I was 15 (3 years ago). I have finally reached my breaking point and I can’t take it anymore. I don’t want to die but I don’t want to live either. Everything is going wrong and it is too much to handle. This past year both of my grandparents and my two month old cousin died and I was devastated. The one friend I could talk to about anything doesn’t talk to me anymore. I have lost interest in all of the things that […]
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My Suicide Note
That’s my date. Other people have others but that one is mine. I’m determined to end it all on that day, but I’m scared that I won’t carry through. I’m scared I’m going to flake like Aysel in My Heart and Other Black Holes.
I literally have nothing to live for except my cat. But I know Reimi loves everyone so he won’t miss me for long.
I keep thinking of ways to end it rather than if I’m going to end it. According to the psychologists of the internet, that means I have “major depressive disorder”, and I’m a “high risk of suicide”. Who cares though? They didn’t tell me anything […]
So this is just a copy and paste from a song that i found. This portion is extremely relevant to me, and maybe you can find this relatable to what youre going through.
This is “her last words” by courtney parker.
_________________________________________
She sees the note and unfolds it with care
All she does is stare, “How can this be fair?”
She starts reading as the tears roll down her face
“I’m sorry Mom but this world is just not my place
I’ve tried for so long to fix this and fit in
I’ve come to realize this world’s full of sin
There’s nothing for me here, I’m […]
I know the pain that I have left behind.
I have felt it before.
I’m sorry. That’s all i can say.
It’s not your fault.
Never has been.
My only request, Is to grant me peace.
You’re my poison. You really fucking are. You are a pill covered in sugar. The poison is not in the pill but in the sugar. I get a taste of what I think I want and it ends up turning my inside into sludge. I pretend in my head that I don’t see your flaws but who am I kidding. Only myself.
I wrote you a suicide note last night. I didn’t get past the part where I said I hate you. I’ll work on it tonight. Maybe it will be be as simple as “are you happy now” will you be when all is said and done. […]
Many things can happen in life,
This I know.
But what do you do,
When the pain is to much to bare.
You hurt yourself,
And call It fair,
You tell yourself that it is your you fault,
That you should have cared.
Now it’s to late.
I didn’t think it would happen to me. At all. Why would it happen? That is what I don’t understand, he tries to help, and I know he cares. It hurt him too, but why? Why does it hurt? Why am I so upset? The baby, can I […]
I’m gone. I’m sorry but I’m gone. Before I go I want to thank mehikka, photographyismylife, and the one dude who’s name I can’t remember for trying to stop me. Hugs to you guys, it didn’t work for me but keep it going and it may work for someone else.
I went to group yesterday and today with a bag of clothes to go to the hospital. Yesterday, I could not bring myself to talk to the therapist. I have been on my phone every night with two and three different crises lines. But I always say that I will be safe even with the racing thoughts and plans to attempt suicide.
Today, I asked the therapist how do you push across the point of knowing you need help to actually taking it. She told me that the only person who could answer that question was the one asking it. She thanked me for coming to […]
How does one start a letter of this sort? do i just say my goodbyes? Do i explain why i have decided to do this thing? My regrets? my hopes? i honestly don’t know. should i have told anyone? wouldn’t that have defeated the purpose though?
Well its my letter so i guess there are no rules, i can decide what goes on this letter and what does not. So… Suicide.. plain and simple.. people say its the easy way out .. that people who commit suicide are weak, stupid, doing it for attention? like really? and what ever else they decide to call it, but […]
That I will never get married
Never have sex with another fellow human being
If I’m to become homeless, that I will slit my carotid artery.
?
Why do we fear death, why do we fear the thing that will come for us all one day? Love and hate are intertwined with death, and when it grips you all emotion is lost as you flow into the interstellar’s of death. Soul and mind are empty and all thoughts are heavy. Death is powerful, wooing you into an insatiable thirst for life; for knowledge.
I wish that it was easier to love and to hate, I wish saying goodbye didn’t always mean forever; especially not in death. To be rid of all woo and worry, to be freed of any trouble; the ultimate […]
Though we find ourselves alone in our pain and blackness we are many. Funny how demons push and guide us individually, but we are many. Alone in the dark we cry for deaths sweet release, but we are many. Hopeless am I here by myself, but we are many.
We are legion
I always give too much
To a friend or to a lover and i cant seem to understand why my giving is never equal to what i receive and i have never felt the kind of happiness i see in their eyes on mine when i am being returned the favor
They seem happier than me and believe me that lights me up completely but i dont know if ive ever heard a thank you or a slight gratitude and that saddens me so that my heart fills with ocean waves like being trapped in a bottle longing the shore, can you imagine how painful that […]
sometimes i wish
i stayed inside my mother,
never to come out.
I should go now, quietly
For my bones have found a place to lie down and sleep
Where all my layers can become reeds
All my limbs can become trees
All my children can become me
Oh, what a mess I leave
My life is such that the only thing I look forward to is sleep. In my dreams I am free of everything including gravity. Sweet dreams where I am hero. I awake sometimes in tears because of the simple fact that I woke up. I long for an eternal sleep. Hero forever
I’m not sure where to start, but I’ll be writing a lot here, so I’m going to warn you ahead of time that this will be a long read and probably very disjointed because I’m just putting down my thoughts as they come.
I’ll start with the basics: I’m a 24-year-old male and I’ve struggled with depression for over half of my life. My formal diagnoses are major depression and obsessive compulsive disorder, both of which were given when I was around the age of 10. I have had thoughts of suicide daily for as long as I can remember, but it has been awhile since I’ve […]
My suicide note. I’m still working on it. I’m still waiting for help even though I know I’m only fake hoping. I don’t have a purpose anymore. Living is a torture every single day. I set myself a date. I planned everything. I’m pretty hopeless.
Anyways. Here you go, enjoy? I don’t know. Do whatever you want to do with this:
Hey. It’s me. I’m that shitty girl who killed herself because she’s a weak-ass depressed kid who’s only great at complaining and seeking for attention. You probably heard about me now, you’re probably gossiping about it. Anyways, I’m writing this letter because soon enough I’ll be […]
Yesterday I got message from bank. In one week I will be homeless.
I give up, I am afraid, I don’t know what to do.
I am at work now and it is 12:00, at 13:00 I have a break, I will buy sleeping pills then I will go at some silent place with my car, drink pills, put plastic bag on head and will fall in sleep and never wake up. If in 3 hours from now I will not post a comment in that topic that means that in Tbilisi at approximately 14:00 young man killed himself, In this case please somehow make my following […]
Been suffering from chest pains since this morning. I’ve said nothing to no one about it. Maybe there is a God and it’ll be a heart attack. Let’s keep our fingers crossed. Wish me luck guys.
Got into some trouble recently(minor) and volunatarily chose to do group therapy sessions. Sitting and talking and listening to everyone’s else’s story has made all the things that bother me surface. For starters, my mother is a druggie, my father has been in and out of my life, my brother is a schizophrenic, I have closed myself off to people including my two sisters because I preferred it that way. My wife is an angel and although I worked a mediocre job to get her through school and now the roles have reversed, I can’t help but feel worthless, I’m 25 and have nothing to […]