If I’m alone, I’ve done it to myself. Nobody likes a loser
I can see the reasoning behind keeping a site like this….well….discrete, I guess. But, you know, I’ve wanted, on a couple of occasions, to sign in and TALK to people (when I’ve been NEAR FUCKING KILLING MYSELF!!), but I can’t figure out how to fucking LOG IN so I can COMMUNICATE!!! WTF?!!!
There’s no LOG IN details when you visit this site! You may be DESPERATE – and you may well be RIGHT ON THE FUCKING EDGE AND DESPERATE TO TALK TO LIKE-MINDED PEOPLE, but……how the fuck do you GET IN!????????
I managed to log on ONLY because I inadvertantly clicked on somebody’s POST! Is that how […]
I read other stories here for a while and decided to post my own here because I’m through with this shit. If you’re easily triggered then leave now because I’m not holding back because I’ve been through both fucked up and weird shit. Fair warning: I might ramble at times.
I’ve had a shit life for quite a while now and I’m officially done with it. I’ve been through a shit school system and graduated, dealt with my dumbass parents until my dad fell off a roof during a job (good riddance. Bastard left us in a financial mess) and my mom died in 2010. I […]
Mind like quicksand, but I try to stay above land.
Kaleidoscope of different scenarios. Life falling in a burial. Heart broken like shattered glass, not healing no mater how much time has passed. Haunted dreams every night, becoming weaker after every fight. Can’t distinguish what is real or in my head, every night laying on my deathbed. Anxiety, bipolar and PTSD, is slowly overpowering me.
Suicidal Thoughts but I’m afraid of death, continuous thoughts of how I will lose my last breath. Anxious, anxious all the time, but with meds they tell I’ll be just fine. Irritable, angry, sadden and scared, all through my mind […]
My girlfriend of almost three years just left me with no explanation, Im just looking over pictures of us together and i cant stand it. I had just gone with my friend to get an engagement ring just five months ago. i made the last payment on it just last week. I was going to ask her to marry me at our favorite cafe, it was where we first met. i had stopped her from suicide after she had lost her father and now im honestly the one whos trying. since that night we had made more memories in a few years than i had made […]
I cannot stop the thoughts and images bombarding my brain day in day out. How can I stop this madness!?
Sitting here watching people through my window. They have thier yesterdays and tomorrows. Can’t help to compare myself with them. The only difference is is that all I have is now and I pray for no tomorrows. What a pathetic little person am I
This may be triggering for some, so dont continue if you think it will. I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore…
Over the past three years, I have lost several important people in my life. Most of them walked out of my life purposefully without a goodbye; one died due to a disease we both are affected by. However, all of them have left me to wander through life stranded and alone. All of them took pieces of me away slowly and now nothing is left worth preserving.
So that is why I am here tonight: to tell everyone why I an ready and willing to […]
fuck the book and fuck EVERY chance there ever was for anything to get better. fuck my family and my dead beat friends. I have the razor and all the time I need im doing it tonight I dont care I am not going to ***** out I am doing it. I HAVE NO LIFE away from this damn mental illness(es) and my family is pissing me off to no end. I DONT CAUSE PROBLEMS FOR THEM THEY PUT THEM UPON THEMSELVES AND THEN BLAME ME! I dont need people to fucking worry about me! I will not conform to this boring ass fucking life. Im […]
They ask me tell them everything and now I’m crazy. I tell them about my sadness. I tell them about my self loathing. I tell them about my secret desires to be dead. I tell them about this black pit I’m in.
They tell me I’m crazy
What a joke, now I’m supposedly possessed? Witch lady says she sees something riding on my back. Bring on the voodoo doctors and things that go bump in the night. Maybe whatever it is will get the job done right and quick.
Now I lay me down to sleep
Lord, I pray my soul you keep
I lean forward and push off the edge
I fall into a fog falling falling
With two downward thrusts I rise Above the fog. My wings are beautiful
I glide effortlessly through the clouds
Here is where I belong
Gliding effortlessly through the sky
Here I am powerful
Here I am hero
Here my dream is endless
It’s been long since my last post here,my life has changed way so different..to the worst, oh c’mon it’s maddie,my life won’t turn up,sure,so anyway people think that I’m a psycho or something,this woman who is supposed to be my mother told them that I’m having a mental problem,That’s because of my last suicide attempt,well i’m okay with this, but people around me,they seem different from me, I see the smiles on their faces, they are happy,i never knew the meaning of happiness, the whole universe is against me,i wish I could stop the pain but, by myself?no I can’t
I am broken
Sleeps sweet release
Sleeps sweet embrace
Is death better?
Will I dream in death?
Can I be and do things unimaginable
Can I be a man?
Can I stop being the Nowhere man doing nothing for nobody?
I will leap into the blackness
It will take me
It knows that I belong
I don’t belong here
I belong there…
dead
Been in this prison for years
My enemy
My biggest enemy
I hate you
I hate the sight of you
I wish you were dead
I hate you with all my being
I dream of putting a gun to your head
I dream of pulling the trigger
I dream of you with a rope around your neck
I kick the stool from under you myself
You stupid reflection!
At 6 AM in an all black outfit I ate ” Coffee lovers Only Ice cream @ Coldstone
At 7 AM in an all grey outfit I saw Jack the only person who would know my fate
Fast track:
5 PM I am at the tallest Building watching and internalizing the fact that I am not going to a better place but running away from this hell of a state.
I can’t say that throughout the day i was petrified, disturbed or unsettled
BUT I can say that I was at peace. At my utmost tranquilized state
I WAS FREE.
UNTIL
I will let the blade gash through […]
The future isn’t some far off thing . Its right fucking now! And I could be waiting for things to get better and hoping for a better future for days, years, or months. Its a bunch of bullshit and everyone dies it doesn’t matter when you die as long as you do. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be in control of your death but also I get to die when I WANT to die. Because its MY life not my moms or my sisters or my grandparents or my friends life its MINE! and the only reason people want suicidal people to stay […]