I want out. I no longer want to live. I know this. Why is it so hard to end it? I’ve lost everything and the things I’ve never dealt with have eaten me alive. The only thing I think about is ending it. I wish I had a heart attack that would just take me. Or anything. Something. There is no reason to live, no love, no nothing. And there’s no one to talk to. They’ve all left me. And yet I stay here. Why? Why the fuck do I still breathe? I should be dead. I should have been dead long ago. And I’m […]
My Suicide Note
So I’ve come to the conclusion that it does not get better. The mental disorders don’t go away, I won’t get any less socially awkward, & I will not become any less pathetic. I’ve sought help & It lead to my family thinking I’m crazy to the point where none of them want anything to do with me. I tried to just get away, but I end up with more problems then I started with. Always naturally hated by everyone I’ve met. First I thought it was a test. Then when I lost faith I thought it was a punishment, but now I know there […]
Cold blue steel
Pressed to my temple
I tremble some
this trigger has always been light
No tears will spill
for me, not for me
only anger for the mess
I will leave
A half-century of life
like trash in the wind
leaves me so angry
– that my old man didn’t jack off in the sink
ok well here it is im 17 and I met this girl online when I was 16 shes 19 and lives in california(im in ireland) I never planned on liking her this much but things happened and now all I think about is us we’ve been in a relationship a while now and she says she will come and visit and hope she does we say “i love you” to eachother 3-5 times a day and I really do love her but if things dont work out (nearly all online relationships fail) then ill be alone and then I can finally end this life I […]
I’m leaving not for a few days im leaving forever i can’t handle this obviously i was a mistake if i can’t feel happiness by the time you have read this im dead no takebacks i know but life would be so much easier without me bye world if your my friend and your reading this please don’t get upset don’t waste your tears over someone like me personally i don’t want to die but it’s the only way for me to remain happy it’s like my life is frozen in this one dark spot that i can’t get out of im only 11 […]
I’m so tired of this life. I’ve never felt comfortable in any situation and I seemingly can’t make anything work. I never feel like a normal person, never have. Even if by some miracle things are good, I find a way to destroy it just by being my uncomfortable self. I’ve done this so many times that now I’m just too tired to try.
I haven’t worked in more time than I’d like to admit. I’m 35, will be 36 at the end of the month, and I still rely on someone else to support me because I just can’t bring myself to face another rejection. […]
there is no heaven.
no hell.
no God.
only Time, and a choice.
I made my choice a long time ago, and now time decides when I carry out that choice
As mentioned in my earlier post today, I have decided to end it all. If that’s not selfish enough, I don’t want to be alone when it happens. I want someone there to hold my hand as I lose consciousness and finally stop breathing and to remove my hood so that when I am discovered the trauma on whomever finds me will hopefully be reduced. Even if it isn’t possible to have someone there, I am still going to do it. This is just a thought….
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Georgia_Mass_Choir_-_The_Best_of_My_Story.mp3
where can I go where there is nowhere to go to who can I talk to who isn’t already playing what can I do when they have everything laid out and planned for me already wtf can i get my shock now can I get my whatever the hell they gone give me now I don’t care anymore commit me, kill me, anything is better than submitting. I don’t believe andi don’t have to I lost enough of my soul and I don’t care who don’t believe me: who I am, what I am supposed to be idont care who believes me or not […]
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/J-MOSS-AFRAID.mp3
Do I have to?
I feel like I have to lose my soul
To make someone else whole
Because my life is not worth to live
Who will claim me?
Never
Who claims me?
The devil has touched my soul
Taken my soul
And unless I submit
I shall never be healed again
Born from a rape
Created in a laboratory
Who is enabled to tell me the truth
God knows
God sees all
Why won’t people help me?
I don’t understand
A sacrifice thru a ritual
All their souls bound to hell
God help us all
Psalms 41 to tell
I never knew any good. abuse from birth. Physically, menilly, sexually, and verbally. Living in poverty getting fucked by my dad and abused by my mom. Than my brother too. No love and no support. No friends no family. And the foster care system was no differnt. Abusse, neglect, and being used. I ran away at 12 and started prostituting to support myself. I wanted to make something for myself, to become something. I have been through things you couldn’t amagen. Things that should have killed me. But I’m hear and suffer every minuet of every day. I contiplate subside constantly. What do I […]
Hi my name is brittany and im 17 years old. Â I’ve always been teased since the 4 grade up until now. People always made fun of me because I am fat and I never understood why people would say so many mean hurtful things to me, I was always nice to people. I would always help people and give people candy , and compliment those who were mean to me. When I was in the 6th grade I wanted to commit suicide because of the constant teasingof being called fat. It was like I could never get a break from being tease , and up […]
This is the beginning of my end, it is all my fault so I blame no one even though my parents and friends will all blame themselves. I’ve been researching the best way to end my own life for a few days now but I can’t decide which way I want to accomplish the deed. I think I am going to try helium, it sounds the easiest and least painful way (even though I probably deserve to feel pain since I am such a disappointment to everyone). I have plans to visit the local party store to rent a helium tank as well as acquire […]
wow, i just stumbled upon this site… amazing… i’ve struggled with suicide since i was a child. i’m 23 now. and i’ve been planning to finally succeed this weekend. just getting things in order, getting my paycheck on friday so i can buy what i need. i thought i was a freak of nature, a psycho, and now i know i’m not alone…
i feel so awful for the pain i know i will cause my family and loved ones, but i literally cannot bear this anymore. i live in torment, i have no reason to be unhappy, my life has not been unpleasant and i […]
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/3_Doors_Down_-_Kryptonite.mp3
I’m a defector
proud to say
no matter what they try
I will get away
The calling for the spirit guide
is beneath what I need
Faith amidst my poverty
I can’t help but succeed
It’s a crown
fit for a king
nevertheless the darkness haunts and seeks me
They shall not prevail
neither shall they reign
For the cry from the humble man
out tested their fame
shame nevertheless encompass and shadows me
I pray that my God that I serve will hopefully forgive me
I am not what they say
nor what they think
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Hinder_-_Lips_Of_An_Angel.mp3
All my life
I have seemed to fail
Satan says I am destined to hell
little do he know less what he think
out of all of his accomplishments, reigns, and victories
still I hold to God for it is to Him I cling
Resonating sounds of the angel sing
I love the song, mountain, and hill
although he comes to steal, destroy, and kill
Defective equipment is all I have
Knock it down a little once more
Forsake me not Lord
For I am not a whore
scarred, pain staken and stricken
I hide my eyes
because I’m tired of them seeing somethin’
pain, love, jealous, and shame
happy, mad, sick, and leave
Not at the end
It can’t be right now
I’m […]
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Evanescence_-_Sweet_Sacrifice.mp3
I’m am beginning to feel better now that I am here. I feel like I have made some friends even tho I know the connections may or may not be real. I hope to heal one day. I remember when I used to pray. I used to pray everyday but now I can’t seem to do nothing ubt think about praying. I remember the times when I was publicly humiliated in church. I had always wanted to go now I see why so many people didn’t/don’t go. I know its always gonna be why me. I know I am always gonna feel why me.
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Let-Her-Go-Jasmine-Thompson-Music-Download-Paradise-Pro.mp3
I ain’t gonna make I have no friends
I am becoming my own worst enemy once again
Why doesn’t anybody care?
Why won’t nobody help me?
All of this for a stupid prophecy!?
All of my life I have pretended not to know
Everything good thing I had have now become owed
I’m trying to cry, trapped with pain
My god is the only reason I am still the same
I’m sick, no help no doctor a queue
I’m lonely, no friends, no one real in my life to talk too
The things they have done and what I have had to do […]
I can’t stop feeling like a freak…
Everyone around me, including family, constantly make a fun of me for who I am… to the point where I meltdown… and all they do is laugh at me…
I constantly get abused emotionally and physically… For no fucking reason… and I feel like nobody wants me around…
What the fuck is wrong with me…? I’m really nice to everyone… and they still treat me like shit… and now… I can’t stop feeling like a mistake…
I can’t stop thinking about suicide… I tried hanging myself with an extension cord once… and I can’t help feeling like I […]
I have had a plan since the age of 17 to commit suicide on the eve of my 25th birthday. However, as the years have passed by and my life has gradually declined into unemployment, heart break and despair I find myself contemplating my suicide earlier.
I am currently 22, turning 23 on the 15th April 2014.
I was blessed with being born to parents who had money through working from nothing to something. However, as is often the case, my Mother turned out to be an alcoholic and father, a control freak who smoked marijuana to control his tempers but which in fact made them worse.
IÂ began […]