I never knew any good. abuse from birth. Physically, menilly, sexually, and verbally. Living in poverty getting fucked by my dad and abused by my mom. Than my brother too. No love and no support. No friends no family. And the foster care system was no differnt. Abusse, neglect, and being used. I ran away at 12 and started prostituting to support myself. I wanted to make something for myself, to become something. I have been through things you couldn’t amagen. Things that should have killed me. But I’m hear and suffer every minuet of every day. I contiplate subside constantly. What do I […]
Category:
My Suicide Note
Hi my name is brittany and im 17 years old. Â I’ve always been teased since the 4 grade up until now. People always made fun of me because I am fat and I never understood why people would say so many mean hurtful things to me, I was always nice to people. I would always help people and give people candy , and compliment those who were mean to me. When I was in the 6th grade I wanted to commit suicide because of the constant teasingof being called fat. It was like I could never get a break from being tease , and up […]
This is the beginning of my end, it is all my fault so I blame no one even though my parents and friends will all blame themselves. I’ve been researching the best way to end my own life for a few days now but I can’t decide which way I want to accomplish the deed. I think I am going to try helium, it sounds the easiest and least painful way (even though I probably deserve to feel pain since I am such a disappointment to everyone). I have plans to visit the local party store to rent a helium tank as well as acquire […]
wow, i just stumbled upon this site… amazing… i’ve struggled with suicide since i was a child. i’m 23 now. and i’ve been planning to finally succeed this weekend. just getting things in order, getting my paycheck on friday so i can buy what i need. i thought i was a freak of nature, a psycho, and now i know i’m not alone…
i feel so awful for the pain i know i will cause my family and loved ones, but i literally cannot bear this anymore. i live in torment, i have no reason to be unhappy, my life has not been unpleasant and i […]
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/3_Doors_Down_-_Kryptonite.mp3
I’m a defector
proud to say
no matter what they try
I will get away
The calling for the spirit guide
is beneath what I need
Faith amidst my poverty
I can’t help but succeed
It’s a crown
fit for a king
nevertheless the darkness haunts and seeks me
They shall not prevail
neither shall they reign
For the cry from the humble man
out tested their fame
shame nevertheless encompass and shadows me
I pray that my God that I serve will hopefully forgive me
I am not what they say
nor what they think
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Hinder_-_Lips_Of_An_Angel.mp3
All my life
I have seemed to fail
Satan says I am destined to hell
little do he know less what he think
out of all of his accomplishments, reigns, and victories
still I hold to God for it is to Him I cling
Resonating sounds of the angel sing
I love the song, mountain, and hill
although he comes to steal, destroy, and kill
Defective equipment is all I have
Knock it down a little once more
Forsake me not Lord
For I am not a whore
scarred, pain staken and stricken
I hide my eyes
because I’m tired of them seeing somethin’
pain, love, jealous, and shame
happy, mad, sick, and leave
Not at the end
It can’t be right now
I’m […]
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Evanescence_-_Sweet_Sacrifice.mp3
I’m am beginning to feel better now that I am here. I feel like I have made some friends even tho I know the connections may or may not be real. I hope to heal one day. I remember when I used to pray. I used to pray everyday but now I can’t seem to do nothing ubt think about praying. I remember the times when I was publicly humiliated in church. I had always wanted to go now I see why so many people didn’t/don’t go. I know its always gonna be why me. I know I am always gonna feel why me.
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Let-Her-Go-Jasmine-Thompson-Music-Download-Paradise-Pro.mp3
I ain’t gonna make I have no friends
I am becoming my own worst enemy once again
Why doesn’t anybody care?
Why won’t nobody help me?
All of this for a stupid prophecy!?
All of my life I have pretended not to know
Everything good thing I had have now become owed
I’m trying to cry, trapped with pain
My god is the only reason I am still the same
I’m sick, no help no doctor a queue
I’m lonely, no friends, no one real in my life to talk too
The things they have done and what I have had to do […]
I can’t stop feeling like a freak…
Everyone around me, including family, constantly make a fun of me for who I am… to the point where I meltdown… and all they do is laugh at me…
I constantly get abused emotionally and physically… For no fucking reason… and I feel like nobody wants me around…
What the fuck is wrong with me…? I’m really nice to everyone… and they still treat me like shit… and now… I can’t stop feeling like a mistake…
I can’t stop thinking about suicide… I tried hanging myself with an extension cord once… and I can’t help feeling like I […]
I have had a plan since the age of 17 to commit suicide on the eve of my 25th birthday. However, as the years have passed by and my life has gradually declined into unemployment, heart break and despair I find myself contemplating my suicide earlier.
I am currently 22, turning 23 on the 15th April 2014.
I was blessed with being born to parents who had money through working from nothing to something. However, as is often the case, my Mother turned out to be an alcoholic and father, a control freak who smoked marijuana to control his tempers but which in fact made them worse.
IÂ began […]
For a while, i’ve thought this site might be useful. Sure, some of it can get repetitive, but it’s good for people to hear themselves, and get a candid response, not matter how juvenile. Now, I’m mot so sure.
I know wonder if it is monitored by some victimy-undergratuates looking to validate their projections. I spent a couple of hours last night responding to someone. It was my hope this individual might get a chance to read it when they awoke in their time zone.To me it was genuine and heart felt and did not contain *any* of the heated […]
I made a promise to never disappear and bring sadness. So, before I can disappear I have to ask people close to me if I can, if I’m still needed. If only one says yes to if I can disappear, then I will. 4 of 5 said I can’t. One will not answer me, thanks to that asshole who ruins my life. So, I must stay. Until I am no longer needed. We will see on Monday.
I tried hanging myself, did an overdose of prescriptions. Tried everything and I am still alive. Is it because I am too scared to go far or is it because I don’t really want to die. I wonder why life is so horrible. I am really religious. I used to think that God planned out our futures. I used to that God controlled everything. I used to think that God had the ability to make you happy but he doesn’t. If he really does have that power, why doesn’t he end my life right now. That would make me happy. If God meant for life […]
ok lets try this again. mon at 1040 pm just got off line talking with a three four people on plenty of fish pof i feel as though am doing something wrong talking with three different people and to be honest Michelle i dont know what am doing am 38 I dont know how to be friends with a girl I dont know how to date people my age I fumbe threw confersations becuase i dont even now how to hold a conversation more thatn half of my life is a drunkin druggy blurr thats why i feel so intimadated and lost and thats why […]
Hey fellas,
Iam a 15 year old dumb as a rock good for NOTHING fat ugly piece of shit.I decided to write my last note on a website and not on paper because my handwriting is very bad.Actually iam not flawed.Iam a flaw(if it means anything).My life is on rocks.The only option left for me is death.I know killing oneself requires a lot of courage.But i have to die whether i like it or not.I have no friends,people hate me for some reason.They even made fun of my cuts including my teacher!I decided to show all of them what iam capable of but you know […]
Dear family and friends,
I want you to know that I will be in a better place. I found peace with myself and I can now be happy. I didn’t want to be bullied anymore and I thought no one wanted me around anyway. But no one was there when I needed them the most and I felt hated my best friend moved and I found it easer to talk to my choir teacher.
Also I hated myself I hated talking and I hated everything about me and it’s just harder for me to live and be happy when I should […]
I just wish I can go back in time where happiness really did exist and where you didn’t have to think about smiling bc it just happend when you were truly happy and not having to fake it . I just wish I can go back in time where your sister was your true best friend and had that sister relationship that no one can break , where you told eachother everything and stood up for eachother And cared about one another . I just wish I can go back in time  when your best friends were really your best friends the ones you call […]
I’ve always been the strong one. The one who held others up when they couldn’t take it. I never wanted to burden others with my problems, so I tend to fake a smile and say I’m okay. I hate to be viewed as weak. It started when I was little — I was born to teenage parents who had a taste for methanphetamines. They did try to get clean when I was born, as well as three years later when my little brother came into the world. But their lifestyle caused me to take care of myself at an early age. A funny story I’ve […]
For every broken Angel of Darkness, there is a Knight of Shadows, who have the same or similar pain. Sometimes they don’t. The Knights are supposed to protect the Angel from others and themselves. They can’t all the time, but they still try.
A problem with being a Knight, like me, is that we are so busy protecting our Angels, that we don’t protect ourselves. We don’t have Knighta to rely on, so we slowly fall apart. Sometimes the Angel is the Knight. I do not have a personal Angel, and my Knight barely looks at me anymore. I guess my job is done, but it […]
Anxiety. Depression. Panic Attacks. Two years ago I fell into a deep, deep depression where I could think about nothing but ending it. That’s what I wanted most. I lost ALL of my friends by pushing them away with my constant depression and negativity. Things started getting better, or so I thought. Maybe I was just too busy to notice my anxiety. Maybe it never went away. All I know is when my panic attacks start back up, they are getting more and more intense. Much worse than in the past. At least then I had more self control to try to keep busy and […]