Category:

Rants

I’m not human

by disgusting 5/15/2015

written by disgusting

I’m not a human being to anyone. All my friends are fake and liars, full of shit, false hopes and false promises.

The guy I had fallen for bitches endlessly about how alone he is, how bad he wants someone, and how he needs to be loved bit ignores me like I don’t exist. No response means that I don’t matter and I don’t count for shit. As I never have in life.

Even people here are wrong and full of it. My only replies are on what women want and how to get a woman when I have said I am not interested in women! I […]

5/15/2015 4 comments

Vent

by alonelybird 5/15/2015

written by alonelybird

I wanna be happy but I feel like I don’t deserve to. I just hate myself so much. I’ll never be happy. I wanna cry.

5/15/2015 2 comments

by wolflit 5/15/2015

written by wolflit

OK, so I really need to just talk. This isn’t a suicide note or me asking for help to die, it’s just that my emotions are overwhelming and I need to get them out. Lately I’ve been terrified and scared and anxious. This post is going to get a little out there, but…..I am a survivor of every type of abuse with the exclusion of incest. I recently started having massive trouble with PTSD. I’ve also recently been diagnosed with bipolar depression. I am massively into BDSM. So much so that I have a Master and I am a slave. My Master doesn’t know I’m […]

5/15/2015 3 comments

Bad Night

by Anon313131 5/14/2015

written by Anon313131

I thought I was getting better. I’m fighting so hard. I’m on meds now but all I feel is sick and spacey. Why can’t I find the strength to end my life? I’m so lost.

5/14/2015 4 comments

Empty Shell

by LynnsShell 5/13/2015

written by LynnsShell

Something about this so called life that I am living seems artificial. As if I am the punch line to a very cruel joke. I’m overwhelmed more often than not about what it means to take my own life. In my mind it’s simple. Numerous ways to end my suffering or finish the joke before I’m thrown down a whirlwind of continuos pain yet again. I’m suicidal almost daily. When I think I can handle taking my life I know I can’t and I break down at the thought of leaving behind loved ones. I would tell a therapist but that would get me committed […]

5/13/2015 2 comments

Five

by the-lord-of-the-lamps 5/12/2015

written by the-lord-of-the-lamps

I have this friend, who I will call L for privacy reasons, that really looks up to me for whatever reason. I’m a senior, and she’s a freshman, so I guess that might be why, but she said something today that really struck a chord in me. I go to a vocational-technical school, I’m in Baking and she’s in Drama. Whenever she performs she dedicates her performance to someone she cares about. Not some friend that lets her borrow their homework, no. Someone she truly cares for. Performing for someone, even if the person isn’t there, helps her do better and motivates her to try […]

5/12/2015 1 comment

Not Sure What I’m Doing

by thatmazdaguy 5/11/2015

written by thatmazdaguy

Hi there. This is my first post. I joined a weeks or so ago to try and help others. I’ve tried to help people all my life. Seems to be the only thing that gets me through. I wasn’t really going to make a post, but tonight I feel like I should. Not really sure if it’s a rant, or what it really is. Just need to say some things.

I’ve been depressed a lot of my life. Seems just haven’t always seemed right. I wouldn’t say it was severe, but it’s definitely been there. I was in a 10 year relationship since I was 13 […]

5/11/2015 15 comments

God is boring . boring God . why human’s imagination & fantasy is better than God boring reality ? why God is boring ?

by niki 5/10/2015

written by niki

God is boring . boring God .
why human’s imagination & fantasy is better than God boring reality ?
why God is boring ?

I hate this world . I hate this life . I hate life .
This world is so boring , boring world !
This life is so boring , boring life ! life is boring .
Why movies , games , anime / manga, & fantasy / imagination is better than this world / better than life / real life / real world / reality ?

everyday life is the same : wake up, eat, go to school/work, boring, then go back home, […]

5/10/2015 3 comments

Two

by the-lord-of-the-lamps 5/8/2015

written by the-lord-of-the-lamps

I don’t even know if I like being alone or not. Sometimes I want a friend, but other times I remember how impossible that is for me. Maybe I just want someone to talk to. That’s probably why I’m posting on this site, anyway. I don’t like feeling alone. I know that much about myself. I kind of feel like I’m walking on my own plane of existence, and nobody else can even see me. Like my world and the world everyone else lives in overlaps like a one-way mirror. I can see everyone else and know they’re there, but they can’t do that for me.

Whatever, […]

5/8/2015 5 comments

it won’t end.

by remember me 5/8/2015

written by remember me

Why isn’t there a way to pause life and take some time to actually breathe? I’ve begged my mom so many times if i could stay home for just one day to take a break from it all, but she just laughed and said that i cant just pause life when i feel like it. She doesn’t see that everything is weighing down on me, each day is worse. these thoughts pile on top of me, making it to where its impossible not to notice them. I used to be able to block them out and act like they’re not there, they were […]

5/8/2015 3 comments

One

by the-lord-of-the-lamps 5/7/2015

written by the-lord-of-the-lamps

Most of the time I just feel like I’m fading away. Like I’m just a ghost of who I once was. Like I’m ashes instead of fire.

I just feel so hollow and empty, and there’s nothing to fill the void. God, I used to be so passionate and full of life. Now I’m just a dumb kid with big dreams. Hopeless dreams, bigger than life itself. And knowing I’m not going to achieve any of them used to hurt me, but now it’s more of a dull ache.

The worst part is that nobody even sees it. I’m so fucking good at lying that nobody questions […]

5/7/2015 3 comments

I think I’m becoming an alcoholic…

by OddOneOut 5/7/2015

written by OddOneOut

I can feel it. The pull to take a beer or any other drink I have every night, when the thoughts come creeping up. The sweet, blissful promise of release from the voices in my head and the cool, refreshing feeling as the liquid touches the back of my throat, giving me a sensation similar to falling into the arms of someone who cares. They won’t shut up, so I drown them. Just for tonight, because a permanent way to shut them up doesn’t seem to exist. A constant battle, day after day, always ending in my twisted, ironic victory. Like fighting a bomb – […]

5/7/2015 1 comment

Sorry

by the-lord-of-the-lamps 5/6/2015

written by the-lord-of-the-lamps

I went back to school today and regretted it immediately upon entering the building. My head hurt, I was nauseous, and I was beyond tired. Within the first hour of school, I could feel myself slipping. I had to go to the bathroom during baking to get myself together and not break down in tears. The worst part is, I don’t even know why I was so upset.

I had my sociology exam, I probably did fine, but it felt like I wasn’t comprehending the questions, my eyes were just reading the words.

In creative writing, my teacher asked if anyone had not started their short story yet. […]

5/6/2015 2 comments

What should I do?

by shiaru 5/6/2015

written by shiaru

This world is really… How should I put it? Bland? Complicated? Most of my life is spent just living like a robot doing what’s expected of me and kind of just… not really connected to my body. Like I’m not really all that there.

I don’t know what I even want to do in life or why was I even born in the first place. Honestly, I feel like I’m useless. I don’t have any skills worth talking about, a coward and I’m socially awkward. I basically just there taking up space.

I hate my current job, it pays so little, and the union itself took a […]

5/6/2015 2 comments

Stop Listening.

by cephalus 5/6/2015

written by cephalus

Sometimes you have to stop listening to hear.

Today I found myself playing 8 distinct songs at once. Listening to a particular song in the sea of noise is actually quite easy. But when I tried to hear all at once, I couldn’t. As I tried to listen to each song individually, yet together, the more focused I became. And the more I failed. Soon songs, my hearing, became periodic and stuttered. Sure, I could hear a few songs together easily. But when I tried to pickup the fourth and fifth… Either I lost one of them or things became disjunct. I became bound by time […]

5/6/2015 2 comments

Never will I ever.

by Astley 5/5/2015

written by Astley

I will NEVER love myself. I can’t ever picture myself being confident or happy with who I am and happy with how I look. I hate every single thing about myself. I hate my eyes, I hate my hair, I hate my nose, my mouth, my chest, my body, my legs, everything. I hate everything. I can’t even live with myself at this point. I honestly can not picture ever being okay with myself, so if I’m going to live such a miserable life, why am I even alive?

5/5/2015 9 comments

Whatever

by the-lord-of-the-lamps 5/5/2015

written by the-lord-of-the-lamps

I stayed home from school again today, that makes 18 missed days for the year. I don’t think I’m allowed to miss any more or else the school will take us to court. I’ll probably still miss more anyway.

I have exams for my college courses this week, and I honestly could not possibly care less about my grades. I’m not going to college, anyway. I probably won’t even make it to my high school graduation.

Since the beginning of the semester, I’ve known about my final for my creative writing class. It’s a short story that has to be a minimum of 25 pages, double-spaced. This […]

5/5/2015 2 comments

My Suicide Note (if i where to write one)

by Astley 5/5/2015

written by Astley

I am so sorry. I know I should not have done it, but I couldn’t live like this anymore. It’s nothing anybody did. It’s all my fault. I love you guys, I love everyone in my life, but the pain I’ve been going through is just to much and I can’t picture myself ever getting better or happy again. Thank you for everything you have done. It really did stick and it did mean something. I just can’t continue on living the way I was feeling. I love you all so much and I am so sorry, I really am. I have to do this, It’s […]

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5/5/2015 2 comments

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help me my love

by sadsadist 5/4/2015

written by sadsadist

I wish she could tell me that I can die id die a million deaths for her that statement would be met quickly with my death then she could go on with her horrible boyfriend and have a family I’d stop hurting and annoying people my thoughts and actions are unforgivable even if she left him my future with her wouldn’t be good enough I’d hold her back all I ever wanted in my life was the marines to die in battle she changed that but I’m not certified for shit I have no intention going to college I’ll just hold her back she deserves […]

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5/4/2015 3 comments

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I want to kill myself.

by Astley 5/3/2015

written by Astley

I seriously want to kill myself. More than anything. I said last night that I don’t think I deserved to live and his response was “Who are you to judge who lives and who dies”. Surprisingly that may have just proved how useless I really am. I am much more of a burden than I am worth. I hate myself. I hate the way I look. I hate the way I speak. I hate my unbreakable habits. I wish that at the very least I could cut deep enough to seem legit, but all I am is a superficial, self absorbed, burden on the earth. […]

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5/3/2015 7 comments

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