I gave my friend a notebook of my suicidal thoughts that I write in when I have them (which is every day now) and for the rest of that day, he cared… now its back to the way it was before… Me being ignored and everyone else having fun without me. I self-harmed today at lunch for the first time since the beginning of October… when I went to my next class all I could think about was how I’d rather be in that bathroom self-harming… I’ve tried talking and interacting with my friends but they somehow always manage to make me feel like an […]
Lately I’ve been having hardships in school, low grades, bad teachers, lack of enthusiasim, etc. I feel like I’m starting to accept the death of my mother, who I was taken from at the age of three and died and the age of six, but everytime I feel the wound has been healed, another scab has been picked open. My boyfriend started working 1630-0000, which means I get only an hour to talk to him when I get home. I started setting an alarm to wake up at 0000 so I could talk to him when he gets home, but the late hours are taxing […]
Hi Dudes and Dudettes… Tonight I feel like Sh.t, to much work, to little sex, Correction, NONE in months and well I lost my passion for surf …. I guess I’m just tired of all the crap, really bad weather, no time for fun, wife that doesn’t care Sh.t about me, being overweight, bp Sky high, Not getting Hi 😀 in a long time …. But Im not dying today … Im thinking about it … In a big wave, point break style (movie) but without Keanu (He sucks) …. Anyways Cheers I’m having a beer ….
No one loves me and i cant do anything right. i am a failure at life and i should just give up. My life should be over and there is no reason that I should continue it. I should just end it now and save everyone the trouble of ever knowing me. I am detrimental to everyone I meet.
I am a breeder of chaos and an advocate of pain. I am the fury that drives the night. I am a bringer of darkness. I am a spawn of satan. You should kill me now while you have the chance. I am a devil on the […]
hello. im back. ive been gone for over two years, i thought my life was going great! i wasa loved and loving, hoped for and hoping, cared about and caring… i am 18 now. im not the same scared little girl i thought i was before. im a confident young woman… or, thats wat the world thinks… thats wat everybody thinks, i mean… thats the point, right? i guess u could say that i am on the right track? i have a good job, i have all the right connections, i have all the correct scores when it comes to the life test. i have […]
I’m a panromantic homosexual, and my girlfriend knows I’ve suffered with self harm. She knows I still do and that it’s hard breaking the habit, and she’s there when I need to talk. Tonight I told her if I had never met her I would have left and that I probably still wouldn’t be alive today. We have a long distance relationship, and I can’t see her all the time, so I feel alone. Tonight though, we were on videochat and I told her about all of it. Her first words were ‘Oh my God’, and then she started crying. She talked to me, and […]
No one needs to read this, no one needs to care. I just need to put it out there. Last night I said my bf broke up with me. The friend he promised didn’t care about me did everything she could to make me feel better. Thank you. But how the last round of this relationship started is what I need to talk about.
He had been dating a girl who was extremely clingy. Finally he broke it off with her. We both said that we still had feelings for the other, but I was a little wary. I told him we needed to wait three […]
So I decided to be completely honest right now about my life.
one of my friends is constantly attempting to commit suicide.
my entire group of friends is into cutting and marijuana.
my parents think I’m the good one.
my teachers think Im the smart kid.
my siblings want to be like me.
but I hate myself.
I want to die.
i can’t even tell my friends who cut that I do too because they depend on me to be the stable one in our group.
the one who isn’t fucked up.
i don’t know how much longer I can take it.
i just want to drive and drive and never look back.
honestly?
i feel like shit
I have tried, I have failed.
Worthless.I will never be the same, not in your eyes.
You are… were.. all that I cared about… and here we are…
It was supposed to be easier. What happened to me. Why cant I do it as easily as it used to be.
Why me. Why cant we work things out.
Why does it hurt more than ever before.
I see the word “love”
and I feel nothing
beautiful words and letters
and I feel nothing
I used to feel the flutter
the stutter
the rhythmic beat pumping in my chest
every time i even heard your name
because to me,
you were love.
Now all I feel is an empty void
I shutter
my heart beat is constant
I flinch at the thought of you
now you are the very opposite of “love”
I once lived because of you,
Now I am dead, because of you.
How many times has it been, I’ve repeatedly lost myself to the sadness that resides in my heart, an overbearing shadow that slowly consumes my thoughts and steers me towards the wrong path. Well… some would say its pretty simple, count the amount of scars, the amount of battles I’ve fought and lost against my desires. I would say I’ve lost quite a few, surprising to say I somehow haven’t lost the war yet. It wasn’t always like this, I was definitely happy by society’s definition. I had many friends in school and never suffered from any mental illnesses as I grew up. So why […]
I think that it is horrible to run out of tears to shed. At first, I could cry and cry and never run out of tears because the pain was so new and I was so unfamiliar with it. But now, when my parents throw another insult my way – another degrading term in my direction – I can’t help but feel this horrible and dark feeling settling above me.
When you run out of tears, there is no feeling left inside of you. You sit still as insults and yelled and your face is a mask of stone. Cold, indifferent stone. A ball of led sinks in […]
I fit in nowhere, not even here.
I will never have meaningful relationships, or maybe even a half-decent career or job.
A lot of people seem to like me, but nobody loves me. Is it because I’m ugly? Stupid? Indecisive? Depressed? It’s probably all those things. I am truly forever alone, incapable of forming bonds or living a happy and meaningful life. I’m useless.
I always think about the way I will die. when I was younger I would often imagine it would be fast and in my sleep. Now that I’ve grown older I imagine the way the blood will keep coming out on the sides of my hips. It would hurt but that would be the only solution. I would sit there and quietly sob while the last of the color drains from my face. While I die I will remember the boys who hurt me mentally and physically who kept touching when I said enough. I always think I can get better and my friends are […]
Now dont get me wrong, I dont wish to kill myself, atleast maybe not yet. Y’know I dont have the same pains as everybody else here, I simply have a lack of motivation and feelings. Maybe that’s led me down to this swirling depressing road. God, I feel nothing most of the time, even now I feel nothing while writing this, it just feels like I’m an empty lonely vessel. I know my family loves me, I know my friends love me, but I cant help but feel empty, I’ve always hurt others without realizing it, and once I do? I feel nothing. I feel […]
I was listening to monster by imagine dragons and all the words were just so true. I don’t recognize the person I’ve become anymore. I don’t know if what I am could even be counted as a person. I’m more of a shell, really. Polished on the outside and empty on the inside.
Hey there 🙂
My name is Sara Johnson.
I just came to say, as a regular of this site, I’m in a really good mood, despite the shit I’m going through right now. I do have issues, but that’s not important. I want to talk about you. I know I don’t know you. Hell, you don’t even know me. But I think you’re beautiful. Not on the outside. Fuck that shit. Do whatever YOU think makes YOU beautiful on the outside. But I think you’re beautiful […]
Even though I’ve had my reasons, I still don’t know why I’ve felt so unhappy all of this time, why I’ve never been a friend to myself.
I am a huge disappointment to my past and present self, and my dysfunctional-but-loving family…
In retrospect, despite my flaws, I was pretty cool as a kid, I think. I should’ve given myself a chance…
I am in my mid 20s.
I don’t have my driver’s license yet.
I have little to no work experience or college education.
I have absolutely no friends, not even acquaintances. I hung around a few of my classmates during my younger years, but they were more like acquaintances […]
It feels like it gets better sometimes but then I just think about where I am in my life and what I want and there seems to be such a gap. I’m not without my talents and I’ve got decent enough looks but it seems I cannot connect with anyone in any notable way. My friends around me tell me things, sometimes try to make me feel better, but its like their words are whipping by me in a wind tunnel.
I age and age, and there are less and less places for me to fit in and feel comfortable. I wish I could put it […]
According to my family, having suicidal thoughts doesn’t count, and it’s a big cry for attention, and I have ABSOLUTELY no reason to want to die. Hm, I guess having a dead father, and an abandoned mom doesn’t count.