For those who have passed on.
I thought about ending it all today, I was certain to do it and I had everything in order.. I couldn’t bring myself to do it because the question “what next?” just punches my face over and over.. I didn’t do it because I’m scared, scared to kill myself, but it’s better then being alive in this terrible place.. Who am I now?
Lots of things had happened and all they turned me into stupid depressed teenager. I used to cope with the problems and I was fine, but now things are worse. Nothing can make me happy. I have only one real friend but although he tries to make me happier, he can’t. The others laugh at me, tell me I’m fat, stupid, ugly, idiot, etc. My family doesn’t understand me. They thing I’m ok, but I’m not. I just can cope with all my problems. I tried to stop self-harming, but I couldn’t. I didn’t eat for days, but I got ill and it didn’t help. […]
I am the last honest guy on earth. I gave her everything and she promised the world to me.
I gave her all of me. My Love, My Patience, My Kindness, My Caring. everything that made me the last honest person on earth.
She gave me a wife and 2 kids. A House and even a job.
She gave me things I did not have like Motivation, Strength, Willpower, The reason I needed to get out of bed everyday.
She took it all and the world she promised, She took it all back.
She took it in pieces over time, first my Securities, then Control, then my Trust, then My […]
I used to look up into the sky and smile because it was such a great blue day.. but as the years passed on and as friends began to leave.. I began to just hate the blue sky so much.. it made me so angry that there were no clouds.. or it was always blue.. I remembered that it made me so mad I never looked at the sky ever.. One day.. I looked up and everything was white. the cement, the sky, the clouds, and the dying grass. I never looked up and began to resent what I so much loved. I never had […]
My ex and I broke up about a month ago. And I know all of you are probably like its just a relationship and I can find another one. Well this one is really messing me up. Me and my ex had a really good relationship but then she broke up with me for like no reason and won’t tell me. We still talk like if we are ‘together’ but then she says we are friends. I guess now she tells me she has a girlfriend but when we were together she was against all that stuff. Which I don’t mind but she is like […]
I haven’t really done anything today but remained in bed today so I just figured I’d let all out that I’m feeling. I haven’t really been feeling good about myself (well more than the usual) Â whether it’s about my looks,intelligence,etc. After being bullied I never really dealt with my feelings I kind of just carried them with me I don’t have any confidence and I don’t really like the way I look and I constantly compare myself and whenever I see pictures of really pretty girls I shrink and it’s really unhealthy because I can’t be around people for too long without feeling like I […]
Just another battle I’m going through in my head. My head and my heart don’t know what they want…I’m tired of all the pain. Please God don’t let me wake up tomorrow. I just don’t know what to do anymore. Just take me out of this world and give my life to someone else who deserves it. I’m tired of living. I’m just in bad shape. 🙁
i cant see it aney more im lost my body is a battel grownd and my side is loosing in the war of life iv lost my frends have gon and thay beat me daly ones befor ones after my god what am i know nowing that in all my life that is the pont that iv givenup on people helping iv got a god father who sees me as a lode he cant bear all iv got is the gutat and im losing that too i tryd fighing for my contrey and my contrey didunt whant me i tryd helping people and here that […]
They listen, yet they dont hear. They think, yet they dont know. They hear my cry, yet they dont see my tears. So when I die, will they know I never lived?
My skin was red
In the dark of night.
Cut up, it bled.
No sign of fright.
The pain I was feeling
Felt so real.
To wake in the morning
No sign of heal.
News that break
My heart in two.
I really can’t take
What I have to do.
Someone really close,
Slept and never woke.
The one I love the most,
Formed tears and made me choke.
As the day goes by,
I laugh and sometimes cry.
Oh please! Don’t pick and pry,
For I,
Woke to death.
This is in memory of Grandma who passed away in her sleep last night. God help me to not go crazy or suffer. I just know I’m going to break down at some point.
I’m feeling kind of down today no particular reason just feeling down. I went out today and whenever I go out (besides school) I get to see how depressed I really am and that just makes me feel even worse about myself, tonight I’m feeling regretful because I’m still depressed and I remembered something seven  months ago I was called into the social workers office at my school to talk about my depression and I lied to the lady’s face just because I didn’t want anybody to look down on me and I feel really stupid because I could have been better but the thing […]
I was just thinking.
I came across this site and started reading some of these posts, and realised I’m not the only one who feels alone. ‘Im so scared of doing something stupid.
I’m writing a post on here because this is the only way i can get my thoughts out without the constant judgement. Today my mum woke me up so i could go shopping with her. I got all dressed up, I wanted to feel nice and i did. In the car on the way there i put my headphones in, and just looked at all the cars going past. Wishing i was […]
We were once a happy family, tied together by the bonds of love. Then came the lies, the betrayal, the pain… It shouldn’t have happened this way. When things were right I took it all for granted. Now everything has fallen apart and everyone is gone. As the last child, I am left alone, to clean up your mistakes, and uphold the name of the family I grew to love.
I need to stop seeing him. I need to learn to let go. I’d punch myself until I bled if he thought it wise… if he said so. I’d do it. He doesn’t care about the fact that.. Well, that doens’t matter anymore. I don’t want to see his face after this is over. It just reminds me of how often I frustrate, anger, and annoy him. I’m not perfect. I’m not his dreamgirl. I’m not his. Not anymore.. He abused me. I want out, I want to be treated right. I’ve given everything and more to him.. I’ve given it all. Everyday. Music is […]
I can’t  cry. I can’t read. I can’t write. I can only think. What am I? A mute? A social deficit defiling the medium? I don’t want to talk about it, because then it doesn’t mean as much. I can only keep myself moving.. barely. Going through the motions. Why must the motions take so much away from everyone around me? Why must I have problems with eatting? Why can’t I be beautiful and healthy? Why is there no normal to be attained? I even put on our song to evoke the rolling storm, but the tears never came. They did the exact opposite actually. […]
I’ve been going through depression for 3 years now. I’m 15. I use to think that it would get better and pray to god it would. I stopped I guess I lost hope in it three years does not seem like a long time but it is when you can barley get out of bed or do anything. I have no friends I once did but I push them all away. I began using drugs to numb the pain I tried weed spice meth and pills. Always getting in trouble for drinking. I screwed up my head and I basically became mute I only talk to my […]
I am new here, first post, but I’ve been reading posts here for quite some time now, and as sad as it is that so many people here are in so much pain, it brings me a bitter-sweet comfort that there are others like me. I really don’t want to be a sob story, or ask for pity, I’m just stuck and so confused about it all.
I guess I’m just very desperate for some relief. I have created the greatest of masks to hide the anguish that dictates my every moment and thought, but its come to a point that I can’t even hide anymore. I […]
a girl is going to diy
and ill never see her face
and all the efots i put in will be in vane i feel
because shes the other side of the wold to me and i can not see her face
she lives in the usa the land of the brave and the free
well that must be a liy !!!!! cos for a girl to diy that yong
and for no one to be ther
for the sun may shine its briteist
but sheel all ways be in the dark cos know one ever lisiond to her when she calld for some one to be there and all day i shall […]
Garrett’s moving. I’m never going to see him again. It just makes me want to tell him how I feel… But I just can’t. I won’t be hurt again. I refuse. I deserve better. I fucking deserve better than what I’ve got. I deserve happiness. I deserve love. Â Or maybe I don’t. I mean, how much can be taken away before I have nothing? I feel like I’m completely gone already. I feel like my heart’s been cut out. Ripped out, more like. I just want Garrett… I really do. But he’s gone. Today was his last day. I should have told him. But I […]
Sorry….this isn’t about a gun. It’s about how my mind is locked on self harm, and everyone else is loaded with words to makes me bleed. I don’t even know what I did to deserve any of this…I mean I guess I know not everyone is gonna like me, but I know not everyone has a right to hate me. I wish I didn’t have to say I was being bullied, that makes me seem weak, but the degrading words are killing me slowly…so maybe I am..weak..
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