Category:

Suicidal Survivors

For those who have survived suicide.

What is it like?

by serenityseeker 1/6/2016

written by serenityseeker

What is it like to just live? To just live a life where you don’t feel like everyone is watching you? Where no one gives a shit what you are doing, where you are going, who you are talking to, and how you are doing it? I really can’t remember. I honestly want to live in a cave underground with no windows and no doors and no light so that no one can see me ever. I want to not exist. I want to be alone so that I don’t hurt anyone. I want to never interact with anyone so that I don’t do anything […]

1/6/2016 3 comments

Dear Bully ..

by Lupe 1/3/2016

written by Lupe

You Wont Break Me ..
Cuz You Just Made Me …
Stronger Than I Was ..

1/3/2016 0 comment

Still low, doing okay, feel alone. I’ll be alright…

by YouAreStrong 12/31/2015

written by YouAreStrong

I’m hoping this is just something that will pass shortly but I think it’s going to be here for a while, I thought I might as well just type out how I’m feeling.

I’m sat in my house alone. My family have gone to their friend’s for a party leaving me here, I don’t blame them for the past couple months I’ve been the most depressing person to be around. I’m not seeing this getting any better anytime soon and honestly I don’t know what to do anymore. My friends are all dressed up and at a party I wasn’t invited to, so I’ve got no […]

12/31/2015 2 comments

My Story

by _.twelfth._ 12/17/2015

written by _.twelfth._

This year I was diagnosed with a metabolic disorder towards my eyes. And my diet changed completely.

Then around May time this year I started to feel depressed, suicidal and I had anxiety. And I started cutting.

Then I promised my best friend I would stop cutting. I broke that promise twice. This time I promised and he made me swear on his life:(

A month ago I found out my dietitian thinks I need Physchologist, she thinks something’s wrong with me.

About a week ago I had surgery. And then about 2days ago I did the most stupidest move in the world and it could’ve ruined my life. […]

12/17/2015 6 comments

Letter to no one and everyone

by the_quiet_1 12/14/2015

written by the_quiet_1

Hi, my name is Angelica Cuenca. I’m 17years old and I’ve been living with depression for about 6 years now. It’s started after I lost my best friend which is my mom from cancer. I stop believing in God because he was supposed to be the good but he took someone that I loved the most, someone that I could talk to no matter what. A week or so my sisters and I went to live with my mom’s parents which are my grandparents. I never wanted to lived with them but I had no choice my father was not fit to take care of […]

12/14/2015 9 comments

Uniquely Tormented

by torment 12/13/2015

written by torment

I can’t exactly say why I even write this, I guess I want to share my story to some extent to perhaps serve someone, in some way, sometime.

Tonight will be my seventh attempt in two weeks. My ninth total for the year. It’s not that I backed out of prior attempts, they had just not worked for the most uncanny reasons. I’ve learnt my body is extraordinary strong and resilient. I am a professional fitness person which I’m sure influences this but nonetheless tonight will be it.

I have no desire to self harm, I actually want the exact opposite the cessation of pain. My life […]

12/13/2015 6 comments

Wish I didn’t

by hurtpeoplehurtpeople 12/7/2015

written by hurtpeoplehurtpeople

survive my suicide attempt. Only one. Straight forward attempt. I worry if I try again I won’t be successful and I’ll have created even more problems for myself. But I really wish it would have worked back then so that I didn’t still have to struggle. Cause pain. Live a meaningless life filled with unfinished projects, poverty, sadness, shame, isolation, regret. I just wonder what’s the fucking point to any of it. Why did I survive. My life has no grand purpose. I’m just another shmuck trying to get by, trying to stay sane, powerless, defeated and over it. I want to try again but […]

12/7/2015 7 comments

M’s May

by losthinata23 12/2/2015

written by losthinata23

Its 2015 Before May my cousin still keeps on doing the same dame things to me I wish he would stop which he did around my he came back but with a girl good god yes his stop I thought. But no when his girl wasnt around he would still do the sexual things but this time he whispered in my ear while he forced me to have sex with him and took my v card but he told me “to bad I stool your v card now no guy would want to go out with you or marry you ” when he […]

12/2/2015 10 comments

There is hope.

by NZsocietystory 11/22/2015

written by NZsocietystory

Last year I was so lost, depressed and broken that I decided it was my time to leave this world. I wrote my letter, cleaned my room, grabbed the rope, jumped out my window and ran. I went into a forrest, began to tie the rope around the tree and then around my neck. In front of me was a massive empty, dark field. Behind me was a giant fence with houses behind it. I saw flash lights in the corner of the field in front of me so decided I needed to jump right away but then I heard a bang from above me. […]

11/22/2015 11 comments

Dreams better than reality? Why Dream is better than reality? Why is Dreams better than reality?

by niki 11/19/2015

written by niki

Why Dreams is better than reality?
Why is Dream better than reality?
Why is dreams better than reality? Why dream is better than reality?

What puzzles me the most is human’s mind / human’s brains and imagination better than reality / human’s fantasy is better than reality.

for example:
just look at the movies, novels, comics, games, books, , animations (anime / manga), science fiction (sci-fi / sci fi), fantasy , like Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Swords Art Online, MMORPG , Interstellar , The Matrix , Avengers , X-Men , etc etc, they are much more interesting, full […]

11/19/2015 1 comment

Listen

by StupidUsername 11/17/2015

written by StupidUsername

It has been a while since I last posted on Suicide Project. I know no one really cares about my posts and that is fine. I understand. Now the thing is I am doing really, really well since I was last on.

When I was last on I had just told my parents that my grandfather had molested me and that I am bisexual. I was highly depressed and I was having panic attacks and I was failing in school, not to mention I was feeling like I had no one to talk to. That was way back in I think March. I got through the […]

11/17/2015 3 comments

WHAT DO I SAY NOW? – PART I

by serenityseeker 11/14/2015

written by serenityseeker

What Do I Say Now? PART I

I don’t really know how to go about saying what I need to say to all of the people that I need to say something to. Honestly, how do you say that your sorry for killing yourself to all of those that you love and care about; when it was a truly selfish and self-centered thing to do, but it really was what you wanted at that moment and that you are still somewhat bitter about the fact that it was fucked with and you failed at because someone decided they knew what was in your best interest better […]

11/14/2015 1 comment

tried to hang myself 4th time

by tryingtoend43 11/12/2015

written by tryingtoend43

Im 21 male, living with parents, emotionally disconnected from everything, get anxiety attacks but i can control it so others don’t know. and have massive depression from when I was a kid, its getting a lot worse now.

Im getting frustrated, i tried partial suspension first two times then full suspension but chickened out after 3 seconds, then partial again.

idk what to do anymore, I’m 100% going to find a way to die for sure but i cant get my body to go through with it. I even tried getting drunk yesterday by drinking a whole bottle of vodka, ended up puking and falling asleep. btw […]

11/12/2015 13 comments

Day 1- Depression

by ClaudiaValencia 11/9/2015

written by ClaudiaValencia

I think I will start posting everyday that my depression acts up.

Ive been depressed since I was 3 years old on and off. It’s really quite odd though to think of a depressed three year old. Lately I’ve been getting worse though. I thought I had been cured of my depression for a while because I hadn’t felt it there. I think the reason I’m feeling depressed is because I stopped taking my antidepressants for a few days…. I know, not a smart choice.

Im gonna see my therapist at one o’clock today.

I haven’t seriously thought of suicide. I’ve cut myself quite badly though. The wounds […]

11/9/2015 2 comments

I wanted to share my story…

by ClaudiaValencia 11/8/2015

written by ClaudiaValencia

I am really nervous about sharing my story as I dont want to say anything that will bother or upset anyone 🙁 but i will try my best to express myself in a way in which no one will be upset by.

I was born in Venezuela and i moved to the united states when i was 3, iam 17 and almost 18 now. (forgive me for not mentioning where in the USA i live)

I am really grateful to this country because it has given me great opportunity where as in Venezuela I would most likely not amount to much (not that i will ever amount […]

11/8/2015 9 comments

My Thoughts

by mystory0496 11/6/2015

written by mystory0496

I remember feeling from a very early age like I didn’t belong anywhere. I always felt like the black sheep in my family and I was always pretty shy so making friends wasn’t really a strong suit.

I started getting depressed when I was about 12 years old. I had a teacher who I usually went to when I was having a bad day because I knew no one else would listen. I was having trouble fitting in when I was in middle school. I tried to fit in with all different groups of people but I never really clicked anywhere. In […]

11/6/2015 1 comment

The Second Time

by ariii 11/4/2015

written by ariii

I wrote an essay here last summer about my first (and albeit more serious) suicide attempt. At the time, I was feeling pretty hopeful. I had just graduated from a residential program, I was well-medicated (though I had no idea how important this was), I was stable, my weekly therapy sessions felt like victory laps. In other words, I had made it — made it out, made it through, made it past the wreck of insanity that had been the last year of my life.

I didn’t talk much about diagnosis’ or meds in my previous essay; this essay is pretty much all about both of […]

11/4/2015 1 comment

I can’t kill myself

by Umut 10/29/2015

written by Umut

I’m from Turkey, shithole country. Everyday news full of rape, theft, explosions, etc… I’m so tired of being part of this bullshit. This country full of crazy religious muslims who will try to kill or beat you if you’re not one of them. I’m not stupid, i’m reading book all day but what for? Waiting someone to kill me or going jail for my thoughts? 21. century is just rubbish. I don’t wanna be part of this life but i can’t kill myself. Because i feel like i haven’t completed somethings or just i’m animal who follow his instincts. I sold my xbox and guitar […]

10/29/2015 14 comments

Depressed

by Navartiti 10/21/2015

written by Navartiti

I am so depressed. I don’t know what to do, I don’t want my sister to die, she has terminal cancer. and she can’t be treated where I live ( Jordan ) And I dont have the money to send her outside for treatment. I tried asking people, the government, i made a campaign to raise money I tried everything nobody want’s to help me, I am so depressed I can’t even go to work. I live in the UAE and work here, what kills me is that I am not there with her and she is in so much pain. she is so depressed […]

10/21/2015 9 comments

Love

by secretz180 10/17/2015

written by secretz180

Ever since middle school I’ve always wanted a bf. Almost every night I would cry because I thought no one would ever love me. When I was 18, my best friend introduce me to a guy. We started emailing each other a lot. I get really bad anxiety but that one day I decided to meet him. He picked me up, all he wanted was sex. He kept pressuring me to do it so I felt like I had to. So I lost my virginity to him. He totally left me after that. I was heart broken and sad again. I met this guy on […]

10/17/2015 10 comments

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