I’ve been posting a lot lately today, sorry. I was just wondering if anyone still wanted to hear my poetry. Before people said they wanted to hear it but idk anymore so comment and tell me. Sorry for wasting your time. If you haven’t read my story, it’s not far down the page (there are 2 parts) so feel free. Thanks for taking your time to read my posts. I’m really struggling.
Funny how everyone in this world even the ones you think are “close” to you can never read the fake smile… Funny how everyone thinks everything is peachy when really it’s all a living hell!!
just hate it when you’re sure you want to end your life and then someone makes you feel the need to stay?
Hey again. So most of you guys said to try to talk to my parents and possibly change schools or go to a counselor. Good advice but what I left out was I would talk to my parents, and they really would try to help me as much as possible, but they are the kind of parents who would be super concerned and constantly on my case. They are like that even when I’m just sick. I know some of you might say they might be calmer or understand, but they just don’t know when to let it go. I feel like telling anyone will make […]
Well the past few days I’ve been getting worse, quite bad to be honest. Today was my first day back at school after the holiday and I was so scared because I’ve been feeling extremely lonely and I know no one at my school cares about me, none of them ever want to talk to me. So yeah today I was quite scared because I had been convincing myself for ages that no one likes me and I’m never going to make friends anywhere, I’ll be lonely forever.
Yeah I do admit today was horrible, being surrounded by all those people who don’t care, turn their […]
…made it to work today. It was hard but I tried to call on god, the universe and all the powers that be to get me here. I made it. Can’t focus but I’m here. trying to focus. Trying to get on the right track but I can’t do anything except think about my inner sadness.
I want to break free (just like Freddy mercury) but it’s hard. I break free a bit and then get some things done but then I’m back inside like a boomerang. Today is particularly bad.
My boo gets home tomorrow. maybe she’ll even want to see me. She makes […]
Hey, so I’m new here if you couldn’t already tell. I’m on here looking for answers of some sort… I probably will only come on here once and a while but please help me now. Where do I even start? Well I’m only 12 and even though I’m young I really am in trouble and I’m NOT going through a “phase”. I need help from someone out there who has experience (somewhat) with what I’m going through. So first off my parents are divorced and I live with my dad (I’m a girl and my mom lives only minutes away), My brother, who’s also my […]
When you’re suicidal, why do you choose not to kill yourself?
I don’t know why I haven’t killed myself yet. I am so tired of being depressed; I am so tired of my mood swings.
I wish I didn’t care about anything; I wish that I was a sociopath.
Got totally drunk 2 days ago, have been throwing up ever since then, but today, finally feeling better, I can EAT! And finally sleep without the whole world spinning. Which is good, my mom was starting to think I was pregnant, ha, I’m 16, no thanks. I rather spend my time getting drunk and getting high. When it comes to drinking the first few sips are horrible, but as I get use to it, I start to slam them back. I finished a 6 pack in 2 hours. I would have been even more drunk if I wouldn’t have ran out of beer. Today my […]
so I told you to look up , look up to the sky but I never said to say goodbye. You got those scares across your arms you know what’s wrong but not what’s right. As you smile in the moonlight I turn around (drip drop ,drip drop) are you okay? I’ll come back another day. Are you OK are OK are you okay ? You tell your mother that you’re fine you tell your friends that you’ll be alright you’ll be alright as you look at me and I look at you I could see the darkness shining right through so I’ll ask one […]
My mother is literally a few paces away. If I went and told her right now that I am planning to kill myself, she will take me to a mental hospital. I could tell her.
But I won’t.
I have letters to write and grades to make. It’s not time yet. I’ll hold on a little bit longer. I have to follow my plan.
You never planned ahead of time when you were younger ,in fact your whole life was filled with risks.You were so used to trouble that you knew exactly what to do and say so that people would believe you. Society is scared to become like you you’re aware of what “they’re” saying “she’s going nowhere in life”, “she’s a complete failure”, “she’s just garbage”. You ignore those people because you have friends, family,and just simply people who care for you….. But what if one day all that back fires you? What will you do then? Will you have to change? Or will you keep doing […]
Every day of my life I think about suicide, even just in passing. I hear people talk about it as if the know a damn thing about how it feels to prefer the inky blackness of the nothing that comes after death over life. I have one person in this world that keeps me going and some days she’s what gets me up in the morning. I can’t be certain I deserve this fate or that I don’t deserve it, but I am aware that I have no choice in the matter. I’ll explain why I’m here in the first place though, I am an […]
I think I’m poison. I made it through the holidays through sheer will and maybe some kind of grace. But now…it’s a new year and so, yeah…what now, right? I’m just breathing and I even forget to do that sometimes. It’s like I’m waiting on something. Holding my breath. Expectant. And I guess that is kind of hope, right? So there is that. And there is my kid. Who is…well, everything. But then there is all of the other stuff which is big and small and there’s me who messes up and I have honestly begun to think maybe I am poison.
All my life I […]
keeps trying to take him from me. if he goes to work for his stupid uncle traveling he knows I can’t do that. now he’s gone for two days and I didn’t even know I just want out. how many energy drinks do I have to drink? alcohol will be included in this too
Well I’m finally to the point where I’m ready to go. I’ve been a waste of air these past few months anyways. I thought soo much better of you, but as always, you never fail to disappoint. “Did he say anything about not being able to see his son for his Birthday?”. Yeah, I heard all about it like always. Your hurting him the most out of all of us.
But I forgive you, mainly because I have to. I guess a lot has to do with the fact that despite what you’ve done to me, I still love you. Must be unconditional love, who knows. […]
I have always been a failure. For most of my life I have been successful at convincing others that I have things together and know where I’m trying to go and what I’m trying to do, but I have never known. Any successes I have had have stemmed purely from luck and circumstance and any situations that I have been deprived of either of these has led to certain failure and a complete inability to function like a human being. And in many of those circumstances where I did get lucky, I was either discovered a fraud or imploded the situation myself out of fear […]
I don’t know why I’m still fucking trying.
2 weeks and counting when you don’t even try to text me. What the fuck.
I put the fucking sky at your feet and you do this to me? What the fuck.
I bought you things, I made something for your birthday. What the fuck.
I tried to call you, I tried to text you, I still do. What the fuck.
I mean what the fuck is wrong with you, You’re playing with my fucking feelings.
What the fuck.
I put the fucking world at your fucking feet. Fuck you.
And you know what else? Fuck you […]
Yup that’s how I feel right now. Screw it, screw all of it. Everything. I don’t even care anymore. I want out.
Every time I’m happy, or get motivated, or get some determination in me…it quickly goes away, like *poof*. So screw it, I’m done.
The nowhere, is a place that does and doesn’t exists. Like most things, it’s in the mind; but it’s lives in every moment of your life. A special kind of void/emptiness exists in the Nowhere. Void is emptiness itself, Nowhere, is full of emptiness. all it’s emptiness stops you in your path, then diverts you into another road that is leads to another “emptiness”. Like the the universe, the emptiness is endless, unlimited, vast and unrestrained. And like the universe, it’s full of chaos, and only chaos. You want it to be more like the universe that has stars, planets and at least one planet […]