Hey, so I’m new here if you couldn’t already tell. I’m on here looking for answers of some sort… I probably will only come on here once and a while but please help me now. Where do I even start? Well I’m only 12 and even though I’m young I really am in trouble and I’m NOT going through a “phase”. I need help from someone out there who has experience (somewhat) with what I’m going through. So first off my parents are divorced and I live with my dad (I’m a girl and my mom lives only minutes away), My brother, who’s also my twin, has special needs (worse than autism), and my friends have all turned on me because this one girl told everyone I swore at her and told her to die when I did nothing of the sort and I never even talk to her. My worst problem is school. I HATE SCHOOL. Today I refused to go so I’m home alone. At school I feel like my life is controlled. I have grades, homework, classwork, emails, essays, tests, quizzes, and exams. TO MUCH. I really like the idea of a school in California called Diablo Valley School (not the collage). Take a look if you’d like. I’ve heard too much of “you’ll go through worse” and “How are you going to collage or getting a job” blah blah blah. People really don’t understand how bad this is for me. I would have killed myself already but I can’t do that to my mom. My mom already misses me enough since I only see her twice a month, and she thinks that I’m perfect and school is too easy for me and I deal with everything really well. Except I don’t. I write poetry about my life and how I feel. My dad found it and freaked out but I don’t think he even thinks that I really meant the stuff in them. They’re really bad but I can post one if you want, just comment below. Anyways if you can help that might just save my life.
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Hey,
I’ll say I don’t super understand what you’re going through. I mean I was a 12 year old girl who wrote poetry at one point but I kind of enjoyed school as my escape from home so I can’t completely relate. I mean I think that we as people often feel trapped. I don’t know exactly how to push past it but I think it’s a matter of adjusting somehow. Aren’t there some activities at school or otherwise that you enjoy? Is there a way to do more of that?
Are there changes that you think might be helpful? Would it help you to talk to one of your parents and just tell them that you’re struggling and you need help? Sometimes parents listen even when we don’t think they are. I remember I was about 13 when I first told my mom that I wanted to go to therapy. I told her that I was sad and that for my birthday I just wanted therapy and a few weeks later we went to a therapist for the first time.
I hope some of that was helpful. Otherwise, let me know if there are other things you might want to know that could be helpful. Also, I’m totes up for reading poetry anytime. I have some crappy poetry from when I was around your age too If you’d like I can dig it up and share as well. I’m sure mine is worse than yours, you sound pretty articulate.
take care.
Hey thanks for the advice… I wrote a second part of this (look for my username). I would be glad to post some of my poetry. Please read the second part and if you have any other advice please tell me. Thanks!
boy..12. You hate school because there’s too much control with all that stuff. Yikes. I’ve got some years on you, but I’ve found there is a non-stop flow of things coming into my life that I hate or dislike strongly or wish would just go away. I wish i could pick and choose. I like this, but not that. I want to do this but not that. It’s crazy, but I don’t know how to tip-toe through my life in that way. Believe me, I’ve tried. Impossible. Life’s messy. It comes with roses and shit. Sometimes the shit makes the roses grow. I don’t know how to help you with simple words typed on a screen. Hang in, be strong. Believe in yourself 100%
I’m sorry you’re feeling so bad. It sounds to me like you just want someone to respectfully listen to what you have to say. I highly recommend you ask your father to take you to a good counsellor who will take you seriously, rather than talking down to you because you are a child.
And if it bothers you that much, you could also ask your parents to let you change schools. That can help a lot if you’re wanting to start over, but there are probably limits to what they can do for you in that area. There’s a lot to look into, from location, to cost (especially if it’s a private school or boarding school), to the particular entrance requirements for students of that district/institution.
When you talk to your parents about these things, try to come to them when you’re calm and present the case clearly and carefully as to what you want to do. That way, they’re far more likely to listen to what you have to say. But even then, you might have to take it slow, and repeat yourself. In all likelihood, they’re both trying to do their best for you and honestly believe you’re just going through a stage. If you come to one/both of them once a day while you’re calm, and explain everything a bit at a time, they will probably be more receptive.
For example, each day you can focus and maybe try to have a conversation on topics 1 & 2, or topics 3 & 4 below:
1. why you’re upset (i.e. anxiety and/or depression over an unpleasant school situation)
2. what would make you feel better
3. why you believe doing nothing will only make things worse
4. how you expect things will improve if they take a risk on changing things
Remember to talk about it when you’ve *calmed* yourself first (but it’s okay if *in the process* you get a little emotional). They need to understand how carefully you’ve thought these things through.
But keep in mind whatever school you go to, there are going to be rules and there are going to be kids who don’t like you.
Well school is always like that i hate school so much and many of my friends do too but u just have to keep moving on. There would be some good days and bad days but they will pass. Well yeah u can tell about this to ur dad. Your parents are divorced. I understand that. But dont destroy yourself instead of destroying yourself u can help ur parents in fixing the marraige. And dear times passes very fast it will look like that there are alot of years to graduate and blah blah but when u will reach that level u will see or maybe think that it took u only like a month to get here
Thanks for the advice, bu the other hard part is that my mom is getting re-married and I don’t like my new step dad because he’s really controlling.
Im sorry you are feeling so stressed…..it doesnt help that at your age you have growth and chemical changes that affect the way you feel physically and mentally and put this together with parents who have split up, mean rumours and behaviour from other people along with the school workload…..and its a recipe for disaster.
Firstly its good that you recognise that you need help urgently….well done.
Next you have to find an adult you can trust and i think if you dont feel like you can tell your mother or your father directly then i urge you to find your school counsellor or a teacher you can trust.
These people can give you advice but you need to be very honest with them and stop trying to protect other people from how you really feel.
Better for anpther adult to surprise your parents about your feelings while you are alive than to keep your feelings bottled up and shocking them after you hurt yourself or die.
I cant promise you that any of this will be easy but just being anle to share the way you are feeling face to face with a trusted adult should give you some relief. If the adult isnt helpful then get your parents to allow you to visit a doctor….make up some excuse if you have to then ask to see the dr alone.
Hope some of this advice is helpful.
You are NOT alone even though it often feels like you are.
Hugs x