Hello everyone.

For about six years now, I have dealt with severe depression. I have done some self harming, but I stopped after a few months of doing so. I feel as if I do not belong on this Earth. I feel way too different from everyone else to be happy. This place… these people- I have no faith in this planet doing well at all. Why should I be here?

I cry often for no reason; I feel as if sometimes I am losing my mind. The mental anguish I feel is indescribable. I am currently in college and will be graduating next year. My GPA […]

okay so I’m new around here so I’m going to introduce myself, I’m 14 and suicidal. I weigh 110lbs and I’m 5’3. I started self harming about 6 months ago but it started off very rarely however now I cut everyday, sometimes even twice or thrice a day. I think it’s safe to say that I hate myself and everyone around me does too.

I have friends but I feel like they just kind of tolerate me but don’t actually like me. My parents are both highly educated and my brother is super smart – he recently did his GCSEs and got 10 A*. My parents […]

Hi guys. So after living with my grandparents for a month, I thought my mom would finally cool off and be like a normal person you know. I came home on the Christmas Eve. She was fine. We hugged and she was normal and I started acting normal. I thought we were fine. The next day she was still fine. Then the third day she got irritated with everything I do again. The fourth day she didn’t even talk to me that much. Today is the fifth day which is 29 of December. She got angry over a small thing like why I never try […]

I’m so confused…like during the day I’m fine and all but when I get home I just get these voices in my head telling me that I’m worthless and ugly and so many more names. I try to let out my pain by cutting but it doesn’t work anymore…I don’t feel it…I’m numb. I’m scared to tell my friends that I harm myself because they make jokes about people killing themselves and hurting themselves…I can’t lose them because they are all I have…I’m dying on the inside…I’m trapped…if I lose them then it’ll drive me off the edge…I’m scared to ask for help…I’m scared of […]

Not sure how to make since of anything.. Between hearing seeing and feeling things I’m unsure are real or not or the strange thoughts and being afraid of it all.. The other day it was pouring rain and the wind shield wipers were on high the water quickly beading and dripping down again all I could see was blood… I wished for it and hoped for it … I’m so tired of holding this feeling in.. Some ppl say it’s all a lie some just think I’m crazy but why? Why is that what I thought of ? Because of the long addiction I had/have […]

I’m mad for basically no reason.

…. Completely furious.
And my utility blades are sorely tempting me, which helps absolutely nothing.

…..

Someone shoot me, please; just put me out of my nonsense and leave the rest of the world to twirl along without me.

God, I was having such a good…
I don’t even know anymore. I’m just sick of this.
I am thoroughly done with all of this utter bullshit and these slam-dunk nothings.

Just
shoot
me.

……………………………………………………………………………..

Oh, I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.
I don’t know what I’m going to do.
I don’t know what I have been doing.

Just please, someone, find me. I feel so lost.

I […]

Here I am. It’s almost 2015, and I’m so determined that this is my year…to die. Because I’ve been planning this for three years. I always told myself as soon as I turn 21, and if things aren’t any better, than it’s time. I’ve explained my story before so there’s no need to go through that again. Right now, I just see no point of going on…I had everything worked out for my life. College, be a nurse, married, kids….blah blah blah. But I can’t even get through college right now. My Gpa is so fucking low that I’m possibly going to get kicked out. […]

Couldn’t resist.

Epoch time 142000000 (seconds from 1-1-1980, being used in computers a lot) is Wed, 31 Dec 2014 04:26:40 GMT

Best wishes and I’m glad you are still alive!

I feel that I have to hide a side of myself, that I have to pretend to be a person that I am not because it seems that society views people that suffer from a mental illness as being social outcasts, people that are dangerous or viewed as being weak.

It takes so much effort and energy just to exist. But, it seems that most people don’t see that effort as being enough. They don’t see that I’m giving 100% of myself to just be alive; they don’t see the daily struggle. To be a “normal” person I have to give so much more than 100%. It is entirely […]

i know being suicidal tends to makes us all somewhat self-supplicating creatures…..to clarify, this is not intended as a stab at anyone, just my conjecture….although i dont really post frquently, i would like to aknowledge some of you on this site who make an effort of helping others…..it reminds me that humanity is not all lost, just mostly unanimous, so thank you all….i cant name em all, but u know who u r….distant road, whispers, koatanik, nias, even killswitch…bit blunt and i’m guessing mostly drunk, but narcissim dosent automatically mean not caring, rite…hahahaha!!! but for realsies, i am appreciative…..also, can i borrow some money??? JOKING!!!

Change is the one thing constant.

Do not depend on humans. Do not trust humans. We are all capable of manipulation of words. Nope nope.

Steel your heart. Steel your soul. Let no one come near. You’re on your own kid.

Build up walls, like others have. Be independent. No one is as foolish as you. It’s a eat-or-be-eaten world. No one will trust you the way you blindly do.

Curl up and put your defenses well. Grow up and protect yourself. Stop allowing others, be it friends or family, to hurt you like that.

Protect. Hide. Move on.

You have chosen selectively. Cause everything in life is by your own […]

was the day you left me. It’s been over 3 years. I don’t know what to think. You told me if we were meant to be, it’d happen. I still believe you’re my soul mate, but I don’t know where you are, what you’re doing, how you are, or even if you’re alive. I know you needed to leave, I needed you to leave, but fuck you. You haven’t checked up on me once. I was fine for a while, I’ve gotten used to the fact. I barely remember what it’s like to have you in my life other than you made me the happiest […]

give me intimacy
love me without touching me
cuddle me every night as if the night is our last night together
love me through your lips
make my eyes close and my mind forget everything, even my name
make me forget to breathe because all im focused on is you
make my breaths ragged from your mouth
make my knees weak from your voice telling me im ravenous
make me swallow hard as i try to remember what it felt like before this, but even then i cant and will not because youre too good
make my hair messed up and crazy as your hands […]

I… What do i want? What exactly is it that would like to do or pursue? I had the full complete chance of running away, but i stayed. I stayed because i knew what i wanted to seek can be sought anywhere and my running away, in that regard, is a hypocritical move. But now that i’ve stayed, even my seeking seems to have stopped. I couldn’t imagine my life without seeking, and now I’m living it. Or am i? I think deep down i still do crave for seeking. How to get fulfillment? What is it that will fulfill me? There must be something, […]

Around four years ago I’d just encountered my first heartbreak. It was awful. She was my German girl and I was her American boy.. But, it wasn’t meant to last, I’m afraid, as she cheated on me. Tough break, kid lol. Anyway, I was a complete and total mess. Food held no taste. Drink held no joy. I basically just smoked cigarettes and played guitar 24/7. I’d eat just enough to get by, but only because I was constantly hounded about no eating.. Christ, I wrote some terrible songs lol. They were horrible. Lol I didn’t know that then, however. But anyway, this went on […]

Anyone who needs somebody there for them, I am here for you so kik me @boricua_loca23, Anytime I am here. I don’t judge and I will be here for support, help, venting anything! So if anyone needs me or just someone in there life, in there corner, I’m here. 

Crimson Dream.

You r walking the street along,

alone in the darkness,

on your mind only your sadness,

you r walking the street along,

the railway comes closer,

but where is your sanity?

Were?

Your sanity is slowly slipping from your head now,

you r standing closer to the edge than you should be alowed.

You already realized it,

but why r u still walking along?

I just don’t get life. I try to change myself to make me feel better and the people around but it only lasts for such a long time. I broke up with my boyfriend so he could do better but apparently he needs the support from someone because he’s a dependent person. And I am not. I just don’t get how he gets mad every single time I meet some new guy or something, I’m always telling him that I love him and I try to show it as much as I possibly can but it just doesn’t seem to work. And I’ve told him […]

I have had a miserably hard life. I dont know how to write this or why i should or why anyone would care. i was molested and smothered as a child by my very sick father and my very sick mother did nothing about it. they drink. i dont remember most of my childhood and what i do remember is horrific. my father’s seductive abuse of me continued as a teenager. my younger brother went crazy and is now living in a halfway house and has had issues with the law and with alcohol. my older brother b/c a lawyer and had two children and […]

I know that believing in destiny, fate, or God is somewhat magical thinking which is a symptom of various mental illnesses. But, I believe that destiny brought us together. I believe that life is full of magic and love is one of those magical beliefs. So, why is it so wrong for me to believe that it was our destiny to meet, to fall in love? Why is it so wrong to believe that when you meet the love of your life, you believe it was destiny and that you’ll only find that one love of your life only once within your lifetime?

I love you, […]