Every time I walk into my psychiatrist’s office, I walk out with a new prescription. Makes me sick.

hello! As you can guess from my name who i am..yes i am broken..i have lost everything in my life.
i have a pretty much hard and pathetic life uptill now and i have always fought back..i am a warrior..or maybe i was one…
i really don’t like breathing anymore ..it has become suffocating now.. i just feel like running away ..and the best way to run away is to die..i still have hopes that maybe there would be a magic and everything would be alright…but i think i need to quit…..

I really hoped I wouldn’t get into this state ever again…

Last time I had these very violent urges,I almost killed someone…over a damn simple insult!Ever since,I hoped that I could control myself,as to prevent these urges from ever coming back again…They’re back now,despite of all my efforts to keep the violent thoughts away from my mind…

The worst part is that,when suffering from these urges,I almost totally lose control of myself.Just the smallest trigger of an insult can make something in my brain just snap,and then I lose control,attacking the individual(s),regardless of their size or number of people in the group.I believe that it this aggressiveness […]

Hello, my name’s Olivia.  Now this post might be long and sad but I will guarantee every individual who comes across it that it is the sad truth.

Now, for starters, I’m not here looking for answers, I’m here with more of a purpose to write a simple blog until my final days.  I’d always envisioned that my last days would be spent alone in my room with nothing but my laptop writing away my last thoughts and feelings.  And well, look where I’ve ended up, so in the long run, I can’t say it was all that bad 🙂

This is open to the public so […]

Hey i wanted to thank you guys who were supporting me on this site. i was wondering if anyone wanted to tal my email is conduit28@gmail.com . could really talk to someone now

It has no title cause I can’t think of one. Here it is.

I tried to figure out

Why my heart is full of doubt

Once I felt love, then I was betrayed

Felt life crumble, and begin to fade

Paranoid, my mind filled with lies

who I am I began to despise

so I took myself and I hurled

my heart to the ground, and shattered my world

I became nothing, no love, no pain

Just held razor blades to my vein

I cut deeper and deeper, just to feel

till pain and pleasure became real

but got carried away, and cut too deep

at last my friends, I can sleep

Butterfree with it’s mysterious draining power.
Orchestrating the air, so beautifully. All it’s glands now on you.
Use ‘sleeping-powder’, fumigate then coordinate the air with your wings, swiftly and startlingly.
Use your ‘agility’ to evade. ‘Triple Iron-Wing’ attack.
A surprise ‘thunder-shock’ if you ever get too close.
Use ‘fly’! Agility! Charge for an ‘Iron-Wing’ attack!
What are you going to do!! You’re already asleep.
Uses ‘mega-drain’ and drains all your energy.
Get ready for an ‘iron-wing’ when you wake up.

I don’t particularly like to sleep.  Slept 7 hours last night, better than most nights.  Guess I’m happy about that but my body is achey and tired and i want to stay in bed forever. Getting out of bed is the hardest thing in the world lately. just a few weeks of not getting up on time, not starting my day. My therapist tells me to be proud of myself for getting to work at all.  I want to be, I do.

I don’t know what I want.  Life doesn’t really seem to have a point. The last few years I’ve been operating on the idea […]

It’s been three months since you left me, I lost all my friends as we shared the same friends, yet worst of all I lost my best friend – you. I had to find my house, out alone in the cold without you. All my friends left me, they couldn’t bear the tension between us, my friends lived with us, none of them have contacted me. Every night I have nightmares about you. The last time I slept safe and sound was when I was in your arms. How could you have taken everything away from me? Don’t tell me this is a first world […]

I’m from SoCal, if you’re from around.
Trying to get a place in NM. Hit me up.
You just need money for food.
ASAP

Un, deux, trois. Morlock. I am a rock, not a gold one, but my blood is. Of toxic hell.
Where. Seeking the nature and land, the base, the refuge, for the sanctum. Eight bills a month. Perhaps we can salvage the Lexus RX and get me a new ride, or something. Seeking the healing party house out in the rural. For the Butterfly empire, transmogrify into our dreams, conquer our wings. Behind the Thirteenth Gate. The saga of the Sacred-Clown, and the Mages.

“Butterfree! Use ‘Iron-Wing’ attack!”
Man, I love Pokémon. Travel by air with my strong Butterfree.
Standing on my feet, hanged by a rope […]

things to do before you commit suicide

1. Convince your parents that you decided to suicide
2. Get legal approval
3. Arrange a farewell

Hey I seriously am having a really really bad couple of days. My boyfriend and I have been together off and on for a little over a year and a half. We have been having problems and some people take my side and some take his, but I’m not really trying to figure any of that out. I am bringing it up only for yall to see where this is all coming from. My boyfriend was treating me like an object and when I would try to go somewhere one night when I was upset then he held me down on the bed and wouldn’t […]

I want to die. No, I want to be brutally And painfully tortured and murdered. This is how much I hate myself. Everyone else pretty much feels the same way and there’s a reason for it. I’m a completely unlikable person. A mess that could never be loved, pity is not even reserved for people like me. I’ve even turned the person I love more than anything in the world, my best friend, my ally, my partner, completely against me. He can’t even summon up any type of positive feeling for me. I feel so lost, I don’t even know how I’m still alive. He […]

In 11th grade, everything began to fall apart. I lost all motivation in everything. I had to accept the reality that I would be graduating high school, and many of my friends would be gone from my life. I stopped studying because I didn’t see a point. I had realised that I was completely alone and helpless in life. My friends wouldn’t be with me forever. They could never fully understand me. I began to wonder why I was living. Emotions were something that were very important to me, but I realised that to the universe, they are meaningless. I could fall in love with […]

I feel utterly useless. In my daily life to even on SP. When ever I finally think I can do something, I try my best at it. I work as hard as possible, thinking “This might be the day where I can finally do something right for once!” I brim with the confidence that only appears every other blue moon (If I’m lucky). Only to be destroyed. I end up worse than I was before, getting closer and closer to my limit everytime. I don’t know how much longer I can last. My fuck-ups are only a single percent of my problems, but it hits me […]

I don’t really know where to start off. This is my first post so please don’t criticize me or anything.

Okay. So ever since I was a little kid, I mean little like 3, I’ve been terribly anxious. Anxious about anything and everything. And I don’t really have a reason, I just am. I’ve never really liked who I am, appearance, personality, etc. And in 5th grade I would constantly get made fun of and I just hated going to school. And then in 6th grade, I hated myself. I hated how I looked and I hated that other people were so much better.. So I […]

I can’t get help, and it’s going to kill me.

Being transgender, a lot of my normal life, when I’m not suicidal, depends on my ability to get medical treatment- much of which involves therapists asking me, time and time again, if I’ve had any intentions of hurting myself in recent times. I really need to talk about it. I want to get help. But I know that if I say anything, I could end up far more depressed, and being denied treatment I desperately need.

I am kind of in a constant state of being suicidal- it never really goes away. I can be at my […]

“I love you with all of my heart and soul”
“We are always going to be together forever”
“You are my soul mate, my one and only, my true love”
“I never want to be without you, I can’t even imagine my life without you”
“I want to make you proud of me”
“I want to do what’s right”
“Please don’t leave me, I’m trying..really I am”
“You’ve always been my better half”
“Sometimes things are just meant to be”
“You always know what to say”
“I’m sorry I’m so closed off”
“You make me so happy, I don’t have words to explain”
“I need […]

“God, did you see Susan today? I swear, that woman should get a clue when it comes to makeup.”

“Lol, u kno she ratchet asf. Dat ***** is FUGLY.”

“I’m tired of seeing all these homo-faggots around here. It’s a sickness, I tell you.”

“She wears black all the time, doesn’t talk to anyone, and looks like a *****. I bet she’s a satan-worshipper.”

“Look at how fat he is! And that face…..disgusting. I’ll get him Proactiv for his birthday.”

“Those damn rag-heads in the Mid-West worshipping Muhammad. God’ll take care of them.”

“Non-believers are so stupid.”

How do these statements make you feel? For anyone reading, you probably recalled a time […]