I seem to be going nowhere in life, just down hill, depression has robbed me of the little amount of get up and go I once had, I just wish I wasn’t here anymore.

When I watch shows or movies or read a book, I start acting like a character I enjoy the most. I started watching skins (uk) and I liked Cassie a lot. That’s when I catch myself acting like her. I do this a lot with other characters.
Does anyone else do this?

(I keep thinking that I do this because I don’t want to be me.)

Step1: decide wether you want to live or not

Step2:

case1: if decision is to live: never ever think on suicide
case2: if decision is to suicide: fix a date, prepare things and go ahead with it.

step3: I think case 2 has less human suffering because suffering = your suicide date – your age
else suffering = 80 years – your age

Hi all,

This is my first time stumbling upon this site and after reading several posts feel like maybe talking to you guys could help me connect with someone who understands what I’m, well, we’re, all going throug. These past 2 years have been extremely rough for me. I went to Rutgers University after I graduated high school, I’m now 20 so it’s been two years since I left. I didn’t even make it more than 2 months and I didn’t know what was wrong. I was never bullied, nothing ever happened to me, but ever since I started life after high school graduation I’ve felt […]

Have you ever heard that saying..”Karma is a *****?”  I been hearing that all my 19 years of my life so far and i actually agree with it. It is a fucken ***** -_-. Im not your typical ” Black girl” people call me a “white chocolate person” or ” oreo” because im not rude or disrespectful or all in your face about everything. i was bullied hardcore about myself. i dont like hip hop or rap, i dont braid hair and all that stereotype shit. it might shock you that im a vegetarian. aha yeah i can see why people call me the names […]

Hello!

I’m starting a small skype chat group for us to talk to each other and comment about our day. It’d be a comfortable way to make some new friends.

Comment here if you’d like to participate. I will email you my skype name and ask that you friend add me on skype. You will be added to the group within a few days!

This might be a rather long introduction, but I think it’s necessary.

I’ve been thinking of ending it all rather frequently for the past few days. I guess it all started when I started going to college. I originally chose to major in Biology, but changed it at the last minute to medical laboratory science. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Being in college, I was a rather normal guy. I got a girlfriend and had a bit of fun (being hormone-addled, young and all). That’s when I got my first suicidal thought. We were both afraid she got pregnant. I thought about […]

Smile. Walking to the next stage, to the alas.
The lone stranger yet to be deciphered.
What shall be these freed chain. Today. Where it’s only ever been me.
Now. Held, there is only one sword. Me … and God.
Today, the sun never arrived. Because today, there is only me.
And the chain of the world around my neck.

Now, only playing to the sound of music.
The sun was yet to be arrived. Left overs, abyssal stick to my shirt.
I shall remain, since my beginning. Walking to my tomb.
But today, is today. Vowed to celestial.
The misconception and fallacy mirror projected upon […]

A couple years ago my life hit an all time low. I was emotionally shattered and the unrelenting world was closing in. I decided that I would take the step into the abyss. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t the first thing I tried. I had tried to get help from friends but I quickly became an outcast. I planned to drown myself. That evening I went out to an old bridge and sat on the edge watching the sun go down. Once the top of the sun was out of sight I stood up and took a step forward. The moment I hit the […]

I’m just gonna throw this out there. I am mentally and spiritually broken. I have been laid off twice in the last two years. Married with two kids. Was active in church. Was very close to losing my house. Was unable to pay my bills had power and gas getting turned off almost monthly. I found out real quickly who really cares about you when you hit rock bottom which turned out to be no one. I thought my wife was my best friend in this world but I swear she has cheated on me with a co worker. She went and partied with this […]

So as with everyone alive, I’m on the road to death. I’ve decided that I’m going to chose my exit rather than wait for the road to come to an end.

I’m clearing out my house at the moment, getting rid of all the things I’ve accumulated. Giving away all my nice things, throwing away all the junk. Once the house is cleared out I can get it sold. Get my last will and testament drawn up.

Once those things are complete I will be free to commit suicide whenever I feel like it. I had a plan of what to do once I was free of […]

Im almost 42 yrs of age my career was that of a soldier. Life has never been easy for one reason or another. Now at a point of what I feel there may be no return from.

Um hi I’m 14 and for the past three years I have had severe anxiety that has gotten gradually worse. It got horrible the second year, my seventh grade year, and I missed half the school year(but I still got As&Bs haha). When the level of my anxiety increases I have really bad panic attacks, I am nonstop sobbing, uncontrollably screaming, I get severe stomach aches, headaches, nausea, I vomit(alot), I start hyperventilating, shaking, twitching, I sometimes loose feeling in my hands/feet, my period cramps get worse, and the list goes on. My mom used to yell “you’re doing this to yourself”&”its all in your head”&”shut up […]

Hello all,

I’ve never posted on this site before, but I felt the need to make an account and make one.  To all that is reading this; to all that feels like no one is there; to all that has contemplated life over and over again and feels the need to end things; to anyone that just needs to share their feelings to… I’m here.  I have felt what rock bottom feels like and I have been in and out of depression, contemplating suicide a few times in my life.  I will keep this short and sweet:  the pain may seem never-ending, but it eventually DOES […]

Are any of you in a situation in which most of your friends/peers are completely unaware of your depressive and suicidal tendencies? Have you ever gotten that feeling of disconnection that results from knowing that the person across from you, whom you may have known for almost your entire life, is still so fundamentally isolated from an aspect of your personality that consumes you everyday? As if nobody out there actually knows you? Almost like the social creature you’ve sustained over the years is some sort of agent dispatched by you to maintain the facade - Whilst the real you is still at home, under those sheets, constantly asking questions.

Why is that stabbing myself seems like a beautiful way out of my misery?
More beautiful than friends, more beautiful than family.
The knife is right there, on the kitchen table, next to my cup of tea.
Tea. Or knife?
A simple stab is all it would take. Maybe two for good measure.
But for now I pick up the tea. I’m too cowardly to do otherwise.

Okay. So I haven’t wrote here in a year…I guess I thought things were getting slightly better…they’re not. Life sucks. Now I’m 20. In college…and I just want to drop out soo bad, but at the same time, I really want to be a nurse so I have to keep going right? I feel like such a failure. Because, I might not graduate on time, and I feel as if all my friends are graduating and going to get nice jobs and start their life. And then there’ me who is still struggling to even get up in the morning. I still hate the way […]

I’ve come to accept all this. It’s going to kill me, but I’ve accepted it. It’s just always going to be a part of my life. No running from it. Can’t get rid of it. Just have to deal with it until it’s over.

OK so I was just and average 12 year old until I entered sixth grade and I had a crush on this boy Jonathon*. He knew I liked him so he started calling me ugly, fat,ect.  He also told me to go cut myself and die, so I did what he wanted I watched the blood go down my arm as I got weaker and weaker I stopped for my mom cause she threatened to put me in a mental  hospital,  so I stated to cut in nonnoticable places like legs ankles thighs.  So moving on to the beginning of this year.  I’m still twelve. […]